


Reconnection - Earth 109

by WhimsyNeptune



Series: Across The Multiverse [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Bonding, Dansen Children, Earth 109 12 years after the ending of Across The Multiverse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Friendship, Heavy Angst, Love, Pining, Redemption, Rekindling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:28:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 47,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28443927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhimsyNeptune/pseuds/WhimsyNeptune
Summary: She’d won the Nobel Peace prize four times in a row, had tripled L-Corp’s stocks, had quadrupled her net-worth, and still was not satisfied in life. She had all of these materialistic things, but she didn’t have the one person she wanted to share them with.Kara.
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Series: Across The Multiverse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2083491
Comments: 289
Kudos: 293





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was not beta read so please be gentle

Twelve years had gone by since the Earth 38 version of herself and Kara had left. From what she’d been told from Lena 45 the 38s were doing well, and she was happy for them. The 45s had been married for just over 8 years, and the 9,886s were still going strong.

She was happy for them, truly. But Lena 109 was jealous as well.

Over the course of the past twelve years, Lena had tried to move on from Kara, she’d gone on many, _many_ dates, but no one could keep her interest for more than a few dates at the maximum. She would always end up comparing them to Kara, and everyone else in the world paled in contrast to her. It was a pointless endeavor to try to move on from Kara, and about 5 years ago she’d given up on that front altogether; deciding to focus on curing deadly diseases, and inventing things to make the world a better place instead.

She’d also tried to distract herself by joining AA; and was proudly 6 years sober. She hadn’t even been to a bar in 5 years. She was doing well for herself… At least on paper.

She’d won the Nobel Peace prize four times in a row, had tripled L-Corp’s stocks, had quadrupled her net-worth, and still was not satisfied in life. She had all of these materialistic things, but she didn’t have the one person she wanted to share them with.

Kara.

Sweet, loving, compassionate, and strong Kara Danvers, was gone. The world had been absent of her smile, and had been missing Supergirl for almost thirteen years, and Lena’s soul had gone with her. She missed her every day, but the pain had turned into a dull ache just bearable enough to let her get out of bed in the morning.

It’s not that she was over Kara, no… It seemed fairly obvious that she would die wanting and missing her, but it was more of the fact that she learned to shut that part of her brain off for the most part… or at least numb it… She used science as a distraction.

Her daily schedule was simple. Wake up, get around, go to Noonan’s, go to L-Corp, work all day on whatever project she was focusing on that day, go home, eat a small meal, sleep, repeat the next day. It didn’t give her a moment’s rest to think about how much she missed the love of her life, and her best friend. She hadn’t just lost Kara the day Alex fell, she’d lost Alex too… and that hurt like hell.

So, she continuously kept herself occupied, because when she thought about that for even a moment, her heart was overwhelmed with so much pain and guilt it was unbearable, and thoughts of suicide came rushing to the forefront of her mind… So she avoided doing so as much as possible; and it worked most of the time.

Except on the nights where she dreamed of Kara. Of hugging her, of being forgiven by her, kissing her, marrying her. Everything she could possibly imagine, she dreamed of doing so with Kara. And on those nights, she was the happiest, but the following mornings, when she woke up to a cold bed, and empty penthouse, her heart shattered all over again. Those mornings were the hardest.

Today wasn’t one of those mornings, however, so she got herself around and made her way to her front door to grab her coat and keys before heading out into the city. She didn’t bother taking a car anymore. Sitting still in the backseat gave her mind the opportunity to run wild with all the fantasies that could possibly happen between herself and Kara, and that would only do more harm than good. So instead, she stepped out into the brisk city air and made her way over to Noonan’s.

She was shocked to see that there was a substantial line of people waiting for their orders to be taken, along with a crowd of people for their names to be called. She wondered if it was a special day today, so she took out her phone only to see that it was a regular Thursday afternoon.

“Hmm. Strange.” She thought, but she shrugged it off. It seemed as though people just really wanted their coffee today. She waited patiently in line, listening to the barista call name after name, and watching as person, after person came up to the counter to grab their respective drink.

But then she heard the Barista call a name that she tried daily to force herself to stop thinking about, and her heart jolted.

“Kara!” The barista called.

Lena knew that it couldn’t be _her_ Kara, but still hearing that name made her heart flip. But then… Then she watched the owner of that name come up to the counter and tip the barista as she took her drink, and Lena couldn’t believe her eyes.

After twelve, long, _agonizing_ years, her eyes were resting upon the face of the woman she loved.

Her heart stopped, her breathing hitched, her stomach twirled, her head spun… This couldn’t be real… Could it? Was Kara _really_ back on Earth? Was Lena _actually_ in the same room as her?

Soon however, she watched as Kara exited through the door, and she realized that if she didn’t rush after her, she might never see her again, so she bolted from her position in line, and ran after her.

When she reached the sidewalk, she looked around frantically, scanning every face in sight, until she finally saw Kara’s long grey trench coat and signature ponytail walking away from her. “KARA!” She screamed, and she watched as Kara halted in her spot.

Lena’s breathing was labored, but she ran after Kara, thankful that the woman stopped and didn’t fly off at the sound of Lena’s voice. She finally made it over to Kara. “Kara,” She breathed out as her chest heaved. “Oh my god, it’s really you!” She said in jubilation.

Kara turned around to face her, pinning her with an examining expression. “Lena. It’s been a while.”

Oh _god_ her voice! She’d forgotten just how melodic it was. It was perfect, _Kara_ was perfect. She nodded in agreement… it _had_ been a while. “Twelve years, eight months, six days.” She replied.

Kara raised a brow in surprise. “You were keeping track?”

Lena nodded. “I tried not to, but when the two most important people in your life up and vanish to another planet it’s hard not to keep track of how long they’re gone.”

Kara hummed in acknowledgement. “How are you? I see L-Corp is thriving.”

Lena nodded and smiled. “Yes, I’ve cured Spina-Bifida, Multiple Sclerosis, Diabetes, and AIDS.” She bragged, hoping that she could impress Kara. “I’ve also managed to give every country in Africa a way to have clean filtered water, and I’ve started twelve new homeless shelters in each state.”

Kara offered her a small smile. “Wow, Lena. That sure is impressive. You’ve been busy!”

Lena bit her lip as butterflies swirled in her stomach. Kara was _smiling_ at her. How was this reality? She couldn’t believe it. After so many years of dreaming this day would come, it was _finally here_. “Yes, it’s amazing what being sober can do for your productivity.” She said as she pulled out her 6-year sobriety chip and showed it to Kara.

Kara’s tense demeanor softened. “Oh, wow Lena. That’s great to hear! I’m happy for you, truly.”

Lena was on cloud nine as she smiled. “It’s really good to see you, Kara.”

“I’m glad that everything has turned around for you, Lena. You seem to be in a much healthier point in your life.”

Lena nodded and swallowed back the lump in her throat. “Hearing that from you means everything,” She admitted. Then, curiosity took over her. “What brings you back to Earth?”

“Hm?” She asked as she took a sip of her coffee. “Oh, well Nia and Brainy are getting married and Nia wanted me as her maid of honor.”

“Wow, they’re finally making it official?” Lena asked, happy for the lovebirds.

Kara smiled and nodded. “Brainy didn’t want to get married because he wasn’t sure if he’d have to go back to the future or not, but now that the Legion disbanded, he has decided to stay in the present for good. So, he surprised Nia by proposing and they’re getting married very soon.”

Lena swallowed at the lump in her throat. “How long will you be staying?”

“I’m not sure yet. The wedding is in three months, and we have a lot to do during that time, but afterwards I’m not sure. So, at least three months.” Kara replied.

Hope sprung into Lena’s heart for the first time in 8 years. “So… would there be any possible way I could convince you to have coffee with me?”

Kara looked at her hand and lightly shook her cappuccino. “Already have some.” She said lightly.

“Lunch then? You can choose, and I will pay.” Lena said, her heart was thudding rapidly in her chest. She’d been hoping and praying for this moment for over a decade, and if Kara turned her down, she’d be devastated.

Kara pondered for a moment. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, Lena.” Kara said.

Lena swallowed back the pain she felt at hearing Kara’s wariness towards her. “Please? Just one lunch, and if you still don’t want me around, I’ll leave you alone, I promise.” She pleaded.

Kara pondered on that for a few moments “I can’t today.” She replied, shattering Lena’s hopes. “I’m dress shopping with Nia, but I can do lunch Thursday if that works for you.”

It didn’t, she had a full day of conferences, but that didn’t matter. She’d clear her schedule a hundred times over for Kara because she’d been waiting for this moment for what felt like forever. “Thursday works great!”

Kara nodded. “Okay then. Thursday at Shotzy’s?”

Lena’s stomach swirled at the mention of Shotzy’s Bar and Grill. Their food was way too greasy for Lena’s stomach to handle, but she did say that Kara could pick the restaurant, so she nodded her head in agreement. “Shotzy’s it is. Does noon sound like a good time?”

Kara nodded. “Yep. See you Thursday at noon.” Kara said before she gestured with her head. “I really have to get going though. See you then.”

Lena nodded and smiled widely as she watched the woman she loved walk away. She knew it was fatal to hope, but she couldn’t help it. After losing hope of ever seeing Kara again, she ran into her in her favorite Coffee shop… And seeing her after all these years sparked something inside of Lena that she never thought she’d feel again… Happiness, completeness, hopefulness.

She wanted this lunch to go well. She _needed_ this lunch to go well. Because she decided then and there that she would do everything in her power to earn Kara’s forgiveness and persuade her to stay on Earth.

**XXX**

As soon as she sat down in her desk chair she took her phone and dialed the only person she had to confide in anymore.

Three rings, and then it was answered. “Hello?”

“Sam you will never believe what just happened.” Lena said excitedly.

“You created a time machine?” Sam asked.

Lena huffed. “No. I’m still working on that.”

“Then I have no idea, Lena.” Sam admitted with a chuckle.

“I ran into Kara Danvers!” She exclaimed.

There was a long pause, and for a moment Lena thought the call might have dropped, but then she heard Sam sigh. “ _Lena_ , don’t go getting yourself hurt again.”

Lena frowned. She’d thought Sam would be happy for her. “What do you mean by that?” She asked. “This is a good thing! It means I have a chance to show Kara that I truly changed.”

“What if she’s married now? Or at least has some sort of partner? What if she has children? What if she’s sick? What if she couldn’t care less if you lived or died?” Sam asked. “You don’t know her situation, you don’t know anything about her anymore. It’s been over a _decade_ since you saw her. Time changes people. You of all people should know that.”

Lena’s heart crashed at the thought of Kara being married. She hadn’t even thought about that as a possibility. “Well if she has children, I’ll just have to love them too, now won’t I?” She asked.

“And if she’s married?” Sam asked.

“I don’t know I haven’t thought that far.” Lena admitted.

Sam sighed. “Please be careful Lena, you two ended things on a pretty sour note. There’s a good chance she doesn’t even want you in her life.”

Lena’s heart ached at the knowledge that Sam was right. “Well, we’ll just have to see if that’s the case. I can’t just _not_ try. I’ve been wishing for this day for twelve years. She actually _smiled_ at me, Sam; and she complemented me. Things are looking pretty good from where I’m standing. I have to give it my all. I can’t lose her again. Not with at least trying.”

Sam sighed. “Why did you call me if you weren’t going to take my advice?”

“Because I thought that you’d be happy for me.”

“I am, Lena; but I’m also worried for you.” Sam admitted.

“Why are you acting like Kara is the devil?” Lena asked angrily.

“She’s not the devil, Lena. She’s the opposite of that, but she still has the power to destroy you, so I just want you to be cautious Don’t expect too much out of her, because she might not be willing to give it to you.” Sam said. “Look, I’ve got to go. Ruby has softball practice. Please keep me informed, and be careful, okay?”

Lena sighed. “Okay. Bye.” She said as she hung up the phone and dropped it on the desk… That phone call had _not_ gone the way she’d expected.

**XXX**

The following three days went agonizingly slow. She was too anxious for this lunch date. She couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen. What this would mean… If she could convince Kara to slowly let her back into her life. She was excited, and nervous, and oh-so ready for this to happen. She was ready to share her first meal with Kara in over sixteen years.

She sat at the table at Shotzy’s and anxiously watched the door. Every time she saw it open her heart rate spiked, and every time the person who walked through wasn’t Kara, her heart sank. She knew she was a bit early, but she still couldn’t help it.

Finally, however, the door opened, and Kara walked through, quickly scanning the room and finding Lena before heading straight towards her. “Hey.” She said as she slid into the booth across from Lena.

Lena’s heart surged. “Hey, Kara. How is the wedding planning going?”

“Nia is the worst bridezilla ever.” Kara admitted. “She’s even worse than Alex when she and Kelly got married.”

Lena’s interest piqued. “Alex is married? To someone named Kelly? What happened with her and Maggie?”

Kara scoffed. “Don’t even get me started on that subject.” She said. “Let’s just say Maggie was not the one for Alex and I knew that pretty early on.”

Lena hummed in acceptance. “Well I’m happy for your sister. How is she doing? Is she still living on Argo with you?”

Kara nodded. “She is, yes. She and Kelly are both living there along with their son and daughter.”

Lena’s heart melted at the knowledge that Alex finally got the happy ending she so rightfully deserved. A happy ending that Lena almost stole from her. “I’m really happy to hear that. She deserves all the happiness she could ever possibly find.”

Kara then smiled, and Lena’s breath hitched at its beauty. “Would you like to see pictures of their happy little family?”

Lena swallowed back her lust and love and nodded. “Yes! Yes, absolutely.”

Kara smiled and pulled out her Kryptonian smartphone to show Lena pictures of Alex, her wife, and their two kids. “Wow, they’re children are beautiful. They all are. How did Alex meet Kelly?”

“Kelly is James’ sister. Kelly came to visit James and the rest was history. They’ve been together for about 14 years. Married for ten of those.”

“Wow. I had no idea. And their kids? Did they adopt them?” Lena asked.

Kara shook her head. “Nope. Genetically born with both of their DNA with Kryptonian technology.”

“Wow! That’s fascinating. Kryptonian tech is so incredible. I’d love to learn more about it sometime.” Lena said, before turning pale at realizing what she’d just implied… Not smooth at all.

Kara looked at her and seemed to take pity. “Yeah, Krypton’s culture is one of a kind. It’s a wonderful place to live.”

Lena nodded, relieved that she hadn’t scared Kara off. “It sounds like it. They’re lucky to have you.”

“Thank you, Lena. That’s very sweet.” Kara said with a genuine smile that still took Lena’s breath away.

Before Lena could reply, a waitress came by and took their orders. Lena just ordered the smallest burger meal they offered (her stomach could barely handle that, let alone anything larger) and Kara ordered four of their largest burgers. The waitress seemed to be shocked, and Lena chuckled. “Your appetite still turns heads I see.”

Kara laughed. “Only on Earth. On Argo I can’t even handle a second helping.”

“Wow, you not going for seconds? That’s hard to imagine.”

Kara laughed, and soon they fell into companionable chitchat, Lena catching Kara up on everything she’d missed over the years. On how Cat Grant became a senator, and then went on to be President. On how Lena went to third world countries and helped put in the filtration systems that she created; giving millions of people access to clean water; and all that her travels brought her.

And once their food arrived, Lena had finally realized that she hadn’t asked the questions that she’d been dying to ask. So, after taking one large bite of her burger and swallowing it she took a deep breath.

“So, what about you, Kara? Did you follow in your sister’s footsteps and start a family of your own too?”


	2. Chapter 2

Kara laughed hollowly, a pained look in her eye. “I planned to.”

Lena’s heart ached at the sight of pain in Kara’s eyes. “What do you mean?”

Kara swallowed thickly as she averted her eyes. “I was bound to a wonderful woman named Sun Kev-Tu.” She said. She then pulled out a picture from her wallet of her and another beautiful brunette woman kissing under an archway.

Lena’s heart fell to the floor and shattered on impact. Sam had been right…. She shouldn’t have gotten her hopes up. She fought back tears and nodded. “She’s beautiful, Kara. I’m happy for you, Kara. You deserve love.” She said in a broken voice.

Kara smiled sadly. “I said _was_ , Lena. We were happily together for five years, but when we decided to start a family naturally, the pregnancy was too much for her body to handle and before we could get her help, she and the baby both died. It was… Traumatic. We both thought that we had much more time. We didn’t realize how serious the issue was. We just thought that it was severe morning sickness, so we had scheduled an appointment for a week out, and she was dead three days later. It completely blindsided us.”

She was crying when she finished, and Lena wanted to beat herself up for even bringing such a sensitive topic up. Kara had been through so much loss in her life, that losing her bondmate just didn’t seem fair. After losing her entire family for so many years, thinking that they were dead. Having to adjust to life on a completely foreign planet, and learning how to deal with superpowers, and then having to watch her beloved sister be paralyzed (at the hand of her best friend (Lena herself)) it just didn’t seem fair for the universe to add the tragic loss of her unborn child and wife. She was furious with the world.

“I’m so sorry, Kara. I-I had no idea. You of all people didn’t deserve that.” Lena said sorrowfully as she reached across the table to place a comforting hand on Kara’s.

Kara took her hand away to wipe at her eyes. “It’s not your fault. Like you said, you had no idea. And I was blessed with five fantastic years with her. I should just be grateful for that.”

Lena couldn’t comprehend how Kara hadn’t turned into a stoic, angry-at-the-world woman that hated everyone in her path. She marveled at Kara’s strength. “How are you not bitter? You’ve gone through so much trauma, Kara. I can’t even begin to imagine what that felt like, and I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

“Being bitter won’t bring her back. Won’t bring our son back. Won’t bring my father, or planet back. So I have to focus on what I do have, and that’s five years of happiness with Sun, my amazing mother, my incredible sister and nephew and niece, and I still have Argo. Those are all things to be thankful for.” Kara replied as she sniffled. “I can’t focus on the pain, because that will only ruin me. I still have a lot to live for.”

Lena was in awe of Kara’s nobility and strength, and she was reminded of the very reason she fell in love with Kara… She always found the positive in any situation, and that was something Lena desperately wished she could do herself. “You are so strong, Kara. I’m amazed by you. I always have been.”

“That’s sweet.” Replied Kara with a small smile. “I appreciate that.”

Lena smiled, her heart twirling at the realization that she put that smile there. “I’m just telling the truth.”

“Well, I appreciate that too.” Kara chuckled before she took a sip of her lemonade seemingly ready to get off the topic of her trauma. “What about you? Family? Kids? Secret lover?”

Lena laughed and shook her head. “Negative to all of the above.”

“Well that’s no fun.” Kara teased.

Lena shrugged. “Too busy saving the world and missing you, I guess.” She said, hoping that she wouldn’t scare Kara away with the admission.

“Really? There hasn’t been _anyone_?” Kara asked in disbelief.

Once again, Lena shrugged. “No one that mattered. I’ve been on plenty of dates with plenty of women, but they just weren’t…” _You_ Lena wanted to say. “Who I wanted.” She finished instead.

“Hmm. So you’re picky.” Kara joked.

Lena shook her head. “I just know who I want.” She said as she looked yearningly into Kara’s deep blue eyes.

“Like I said… _picky_.” Kara grinned.

Lena laughed and nodded. “Yeah, I guess so.” She conceded.

**XXX**

Their lunch was finished, and they’d paid their tabs. They were ready to go their separate ways, but Lena just couldn’t say goodbye. Not when she’d just finally gotten the chance to see the woman she been pining over for over a decade. “Kara, I-,” She called out hesitantly as Kara began to walk away.

Kara turned around. “You what?”

“I’ve missed you.” Lena confessed.

Kara’s face was unreadable. She nodded. “Okay.”

Lena paused… That wasn’t the reply she’d expected, or even hoped for. She was lost. She didn’t know where to carry the conversation from here, all she knew was that she _did_ want to continue this conversation. “Could I… maybe see you again?” She watched as Kara’s face turned conflicted.

“I’m not sure Alex would approve of that. She’d probably be pissed if she found out I am even talking to you right now.” Kara replied. “And, I mean… It’s still difficult to be around you after everything, Lena. I really don’t know.”

Lena swallowed back tears. “I’ve apologized so many times to her that I have lost count. I even gave her back her legs! What more does she want from me?!”

Kara glared at Lena. “Don’t act like she’s being unreasonable, Lena! You’re the one that caused her to be paralyzed to begin with! And it wasn’t even _you_ that fixed her. It was Lena from Earth 38!”

Lena nodded, her eyes welling up with tears. “I just want you back in my life, Kara. I miss you. What do I have to do to prove to you that I’ve changed? How do I earn back your trust?!”

“Lena-,”

“I’m sober, Kara!” Lena interjected as she once again pulled out her six-year AA chip. “Six _years_ sober! I don’t know what else I can do. I just, I can’t lose you again, Kara. _Please_! I know that I messed, up, and I’ve suffered so much for that. I lost you, Kara. Do you not understand how devastating that was for me? You are the most important person in the world to me. The person I love more than anything, and I’ve lost you. But I’ve done everything I can to right my wrongs, to be worthy of a second chance, and I know that I’m still probably not worthy of one, but I’m _begging_ you for one anyway. And Luthors don’t beg.”

Kara sighed. “Lena, I can’t betray Alex. I’m sorry.”

Lena let out a sob. “ _Please_.”

Kara’s face looked pained. “Lena, don’t cry…”

“How can I not? How can I not cry when you’re about to walk right out of my life again, with no intention of ever returning?” Lena cried. “Losing you once was hard enough. Twice is too much for the human heart to handle.”

Kara was visibly saddened by Lena’s state, but she sighed. “I’m _sorry_ , Lena. Truly, I am. But… My sister comes first.”

“So you’re saying that this isn’t what you want? That you _do_ want me in your life again?” Lena asked, hope rising in her chest again.

Kara sighed. “I honestly don’t know what I want, Lena. It’d be nice to have an old friend back, but I just wouldn’t know where to begin on learning how to trust you again.”

Lena swallowed the emotion lump in her throat. “If you give me a chance, I will do everything and anything to prove to you that I will never let you down again.”

Kara studied her for a moment. “Even if I did accept that, Alex wouldn’t, and that’s something I can’t overlook. What you did to her scarred her for life and caused her excruciating pain. I won’t betray her by going behind her back and befriending you again.”

“What if I went and talked to her? She has to be in town too, right? She’s friends with Nia and Brainy both.”

Kara worked her jaw for a moment. “She won’t be happy to see you, Lena.”

“I know she won’t. I wouldn’t be either, but I will not let you go again without a fight. Not if you think you could someday forgive me.” Lena admitted desperately.

“Why are you so desperate to have me back, Lena? It’s been over a decade. We were only friends for seven years.”

“The seven best years of my life.” Lena replied determinedly.

The left corner of Kara’s mouth twitched upwards just a hair before she nodded her head. “Fine.” She conceded. “Alex, Kelly, and I are staying at the Hamilton Inn on Dixon avenue. She’s in room 206 and I’m in room 210. But I’m warning you now, Lena… She will not be pleased that you’re there.”

Lena nodded. “I know, and I accept that. But I will fight to get you back, and if part of that is facing Alex’s rightful wrath, I will. I’ve escaped facing it this long, I think it’s high time I take it head on.”

“What if she punches you?” Kara asked worriedly.

“Don’t worry, I won’t call the cops.” She laughed. “I think a punch or two is the least I deserve from her, don’t you think?”

Kara frowned. “You’re a little too excited about getting punched.”

“I’m not excited, Kara. I’m just ready to work at earning both of your forgiveness. I want you both back in my life.” Lena informed. “I’m tired of missing you. I’ve _been_ tired.”

“Well, Alex will be back in their suite around 4:30. If you somehow manage to convince her to be okay with you and I talking again, I will consider it. Okay?” Kara asked.

Lena beamed, her happiness overwhelming her. “Yes! Oh my god, Kara. Yes! That’s more than okay. Thank you. Thank you!”

Kara still seemed confused by why Lena cared so much, but she gave her a half smile and nodded. “Yeah, no problem. But I gotta run, Nia, Brainy, and I are going to go cake tasting!”

Lena bit her lip and nodded. “Alright. I will hopefully see you soon!”

Kara nodded. “Yeah, see you, Lena.” She said before offering Lena another small smile and turning to walk away.

“Oh, and Kara?”

Kara turned around to look at her. “Hm?”

Lena smiled. “It was amazing seeing you again.”

Kara gave her a genuine smile that time, but said nothing as she turned and walked away.

It hurt that Kara was so closed off from her, and that she wouldn’t even consider renewing any sort of long-term interaction with Lena until she got approval from Alex, but what just transpired between them was still far more than she had ever thought she would get. So, she decided to take a page out of Kara’s book and just be grateful that she had gotten this far.

**XXX**

From the moment she left Kara, to the moment that she stood in front of Alex’s hotel suite door, she’d been reciting what she was going to say. She was scared, she wanted this to go as smoothly as it possibly could, and she wasn’t sure it was possible to be even a little bit smooth.

She was expecting to (at the minimum) get slapped for showing up, but she was preparing for the worst. (Being threatened with a gun) She took a slow, deep, steadying breath before she knocked. She waited impatiently as she heard footsteps shuffling around before the door swung open and a small biracial boy that was no older than seven pinned her with a stare.

Lena smiled. “Hi there! Is your mommy here?”

The boy nodded.

“Could I speak with her please?” Lena asked as kindly as she could.

The boy shrugged and left bringing back a beautiful but confused looking black woman. She looked at Lena and shielded her son from her. “May I help you?” She asked, not unkindly, but not friendly either.

“Uh yes. You must be Kelly.” Lena said nervously.

Kelly nodded. “Uh huhhh...” She said warily. “And you are?”

“I’m a… _former_ friend of your wife’s. Is she here by any chance?” Lena asked.

Kelly softened and nodded. “Dominic, go get your Mom, sweetheart.”

The boy nodded. “Okay mommy!” He replied excitedly.

Lena smiled. “He’s adorable.”

Kelly chuckled. “Thank you. He and his sister are definitely a handful though.”

“Oh I’m sure.” Lena laughed.

A few seconds later Alex appeared beside her wife. “Babe who is i-,” She froze when she saw Lena and glared at her.

“Alex, hi it’s so good to see y-,”

Alex slammed the door in her face.

Lena’s heart sank, but she sighed. She should have expected that. But she wasn’t going to give up. She knocked again. Alex answered. “You have a _lot_ of fucking nerve showing up here like this.” She growled.

Lena gulped. This was going to be a lot harder than she was prepared for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Lena will be able to get through to Alex... Even a little bit?


	3. Chapter 3

Lena let out a shaky breath. “Alex, you have every right to hate me, and I understand that wholeheartedly. Believe me, when I say that not a day goes by that I don’t regret everything I did to you. All the pain I caused you. One drunken night, and a hungover lie cost you four years of your life. And I am so sorry. I know that under any other circumstance I’d be in prison for malpractice. I deserved it, truthfully. But you had mercy on me and didn’t lock me away. You just left me alone. And although it hurt like hell to be without you or Kara. I still appreciate that you didn’t put me in prison. I wouldn’t have survived in there.”

Alex still seemed unimpressed. “If you’re so damn grateful why the hell are you bugging me now?”

Lena gulped. She decided being straightforward, because beating around the bush wouldn’t do her any good. “I would like it if you would give me your blessing to try to mend things with Kara.”

“Absolutely not. Are you out of your fucking mind? You think that you can get drunk off your ass while making a suit for me that is supposed to help me FLY, messing it up because you’re DRUNK and then lie about it, causing me to have the most painful accident in my life; which led to me almost dying, and my eventual paralysis, and then just because your doppelganger or whatever from another Earth gave me the ability to walk again, I’m supposed to… What? Risk letting you hurt my baby sister now? You’ve gotta be out of your goddamn mind, Lena. Leave me and my family the hell alone!”

Lena’s heart shattered. She’d expected Alex to be furious with her, and she thought she’d prepared herself for this; but the heartache she was feeling at Alex’s wrath was something that she hadn’t been prepared for. Could _never_ have been prepared for. “Alex, please. Jus-just hear me out, okay?”

“No.” Alex said as she swung the door shut. But Lena panicked and slid her foot between the door and the doorway, preventing Alex from closing it all the way.

“ _Please_!” Lena pleaded.

Alex sent her a deadly glare. “Nothing you say can get my hatred for you to go away, Lena. The amount of pain you caused me… the embarrassment of having to have my sister wipe my ass for me? Not being able to do the job that I loved? The _pain_ in Kara’s eyes when she knew that I was in pain? That was worse than the pain I felt. You didn’t just hurt me, Lena you hurt her too. She was _devastated_ to realize what happened. By realizing that her best friend was a lying drunk who cared more about keeping her feelings a secret than the safety of her friends. You don’t deserve her in your life, Lena. Maybe you never did.”

Lena couldn’t fight the tears any longer. They came pouring out of her eyes like waterfalls. “I know how much pain I caused. I know that, but I’m sober now Alex! Six years sober!” She cried as she pulled out her AA chip. “I’ve worked on myself every day since then. I’ve ’ve cured Spina-Bifida, Multiple Sclerosis, Diabetes, and AIDS. I’ve traveled the world giving third world countries access to clean, drinkable water. And I’ve opened up twelve new homeless shelters in each state. And I’m not done. I’m going to spend every day of the rest of my life making the world a better place. And I hope someday, you’ll give me the opportunity to make amends for all the pain and hurt that I’ve caused you and Kara. I’d like for that to start today, because I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I swear on everything I love (which isn’t much) that I will never hurt you, Kara, or anyone else ever again.”

Alex looked stunned. “How the hell did you cure all of those diseases?” She asked. Seemingly skeptical, but Lena took Alex’s interest as a good sign.

“Well, when you realize that you and your family has caused as much harm as mine has, and then realize that you really don’t have much to live for because the two most important people in your life hate you because you hurt them… You either break down or use what you’ve got to help start making change, and for a while I did break down. But then I realized I was wasting away to nothing, and that if Kara came back, and she saw me in the state that I was in, she’d never want me back in her life and I realized that I didn’t want to focus on my misery. I realized that I was wasting my wealth. So, I straightened up, got sober, and then started focusing on important issues and how to fix them.” Lena answered.

Alex stared at her; an unreadable expression on her face, and Lena didn’t know if it was a good or bad expression, so she went for broke. “I’m trying to be better, Alex. I want to be better. Let me prove it to you. Or, at least to Kara. Please.”

“You’ll just hurt her again when you start pining after her again. She’s been through so much trauma that she can’t handle being hurt again. Losing Sun and their baby devastated her. She’s _still_ hurting from that. Why would I want to risk letting you bring her to her breaking point? She can’t cope with any more pain. She’s had enough pain for fifteen lifetimes.”

Lena frowned and nodded. “I understand that. I want to help her heal. I want to be there for her. I want to hold her when she cries and let her know everything will be alright in the end. I want to-,”

Alex shook her head and interjected. “Yeah, no. I can do all of those things. I’m her sister.” She said bluntly, sinking Lena’s heart. “What you _really_ want to do is get her to fall in love with you because you’re still in love with her. You’ve never been able to get over her, have you?”

Lena frowned. “I-… Well, no, but that’s not why I want to be there for her. I mean it _is_. I want to be there for here through all of this because I love her, but I’m not expecting to her to fall in love with me in the process. It’d be a very welcomed occurrence if that did happen, but I’m not going to actively try to woo her. I know I’m not that stupid.”

Alex’s brow arched. “Aren’t you?”

Lena huffed. “Maybe I am that stupid, but I promise you I’m not going to take advantage of her. I’d never do that. Please Alex, just give me another chance. You don’t have to like me or welcome me with open arms. Just give me a chance to prove to you that I will never hurt either of you ever again. Give me a chance to make up for what I’ve done.”

“How do you plan on beginning to do that?” Alex asked warily.

Lena felt hope rise within her. “By working to earn her forgiveness first… And hopefully yours as well.”

Alex scoffed. “My sister is much more forgiving than I am.”

“I know that.” Lena nodded somberly. “She’s too forgiving, really. But I hope that she finds me to be worthy of that forgiveness.”

“If you hurt her, Lena… I swear to god I’ll kill you.” Alex growled.

Lena’s eyes widened. “Does… does that mean that you’re giving me permission to talk to her?”

“It means that if you hurt Kara in anyway, ever again. I will kill you.” Alex said. “I’m giving _her_ my blessing to choose what she wants to do with you. But let’s make one thing perfectly clear, Lena. You and I are not friends, and never will be. What you did crossed a line that to me, is unforgivable.”

Lena nodded her head. “I understand, I don’t expect you to forgive me. What I did to you was horrible, and I agree… Unforgivable. I will never try to ask you for forgiveness. I don’t deserve it.”

“I agree. But you also don’t deserve Kara’s forgiveness either.” Alex stated, causing Lena to become disheartened. “Bye.” She said before slamming the door in Lena’s face. Lena frowned as she heart Alex engage the lock and sighed.

That went better than she’d expected, and she should be happy that Kara wasn’t barred from speaking to her any longer, but knowing that even if Kara was able to forgive her someday, Alex wouldn’t even try broke her heart… But she understood.

Hoping for both of their forgiveness was probably asking a little too much to ask. She’d have to just take what she could get.

**XXX**

She slowly and nervously walked down the second-floor hotel hall until she reached room 210… _Kara’s_ room. She took a nice, deep breath and knocked. There was a bit of scuffling and then the door swung open. “Lena?” She asked.

Lena bit her lip and nodded. “Hi, Kara.”

“What are you doing here?” Kara asked as her face contorted into an expression of confusion.

Lena swallowed at the lump in her throat. “You told me that if Alex said you could talk to me, you’d think about giving me a chance… So, here I am.”

Kara’s brows raised. “You got her to agree to letting us talk again?” She asked in skepticism.

“Well… Not exactly. She said she was giving you her blessing to choose what you wanted to do.” Lena admitted. “And she made it very clear that she has no intentions of ever being my friend again regardless of what you do.”

Kara nodded, seemingly lost in thought, which scared Lena causing her heart to beat out of her chest. But she remained silent and let Kara have her time to process.

Eventually, Kara came to, and when she did, she stepped aside to let Lena in. Lena smiled, and let out a shaky relieved breath as she stepped inside. When she was in the room, Kara closed the door behind them and walked in front of her, gesturing to a chair that sat across the room from a couch. “Have a seat.” She said.

Lena nervously walked over to the chair and did as Kara requested, saying nothing. She wanted Kara to take the lead in this conversation because she was _not_ going to mess this up.

Kara took a seat on the couch across from Lena and let out a deep breath. “Lena… I don’t know what to say. I honestly wasn’t even expecting to see you again. _Ever_. So, I wasn’t expecting this kind of situation. I’m at a loss.”

Lena swallowed back tears. Hearing that hurt. _A lot._ She should have expected that though. Kara’s actions made it pretty clear that she never planned on having Lena in her life in any capacity ever again.

She soon realized that her entire body was buzzing with fearful anticipation. “I’m not asking you to forgive me and take me back as a friend, Kara. I’m asking for a chance to _earn_ your forgiveness.”

Kara mulled on that for a few minutes, leaving Lena waiting anxiously for her reply. “What am I supposed to say, Lena? I’m at a loss. I don’t even know where to begin with trying to forgive you. I know it’s been a long, _long_ time, but… You caused us so much pain. So, _so_ much pain. And it broke my heart, that my best friend was capable of doing something like that. I adored you, Lena. I would’ve done anything for you, and then you went and… You went and did what you did.”

Lena’s heart shattered and she instantly had tears cascading down her cheeks. “I know. I know, Kara. I know.”

Kara shook her head and stood up rapidly. “No! No, you _don’t_ know! Because you weren’t there in the waiting room watching your sister’s mangled body getting shocked over and over again as the doctors tried to revive her. You didn’t hear the doctors pronounce her dead. You didn’t fly her all the way to Argo in hopes that Kryptonian doctors would be able to save her. You didn’t sit by her bed side for _four months_ as her body laid in stasis; not knowing if she’d wake up and be aware of who she was, who I was, where we _were_. You didn’t hear her moans and groans of agonizing pain for _months_ after she woke up. You didn’t have to watch her spin into a depressive episode because she wasn’t going to be able to work her dream job anymore. Or go for runs or ride her motorcycle. Or even drive a car. Or when she would go into crying fits because she couldn’t go to the bathroom by herself anymore. You didn’t have to take a step back from your job just so that you could take care of her. You weren’t there for any of it. You just disappeared. You never even tried to make it right! Just once with those dumb bionic legs that only made her hurt worse!”

Lena cried. Hearing all the pain and misery she caused Kara and Alex made her want to die. “You’re right. I don’t know. I could never possibly know because, no, I wasn’t there. But you’re wrong. I _did_ try to make it right! Every day for the first five years, I tried to figure out how to give Alex the ability to walk again. That’s… That’s how I got this.” She pointed to her large gaping scar that went across her cheek and up to the bottom of her ear.

Kara frowned. “What do you mean?”

“When I was first trying to make your sister some bionic legs, I made a mistake (albeit a drunken one). I crossed a set of wires that weren’t meant to be crossed and blew them up. A piece of its shrapnel hit me straight in the face. So, no Kara. I will never be able to comprehend what I put you and your sister through, but you must know that every day after, I tried to make it right. I never stopped.” Lena said, desperate to try to get Kara to understand that she didn’t sit around doing nothing after she hurt Alex.

Kara frowned and slowly walked over to Lena, sitting on the coffee table in front of her; her eyes studying her face.

Lena’s breath became labored as nervousness swept through her while Kara studied her. “Kara?” She asked breathlessly. Kara slowly raised her hand to Lena’s face, and gently rubbed the tips of her index and middle fingers along the jagged scar.

Lena’s heart flipped in her chest at Kara’s touch. “Kara?” She asked again, more desperately this time.

“You never stopped trying to fix it?” Kara asked.

Lena shook her head. “I’ve always known I messed up. I never stop trying to find a way to reverse what I did. I never stopped being sorry. I’ll _never_ stop being sorry.”

Kara removed her hand from Lena’s scar and nodded. “Then… I guess we should grab coffee tomorrow.” Kara bit her lip. “We can… see where things go. I’m not… I’m not promising that we’ll ever be the same, but we can start the road to forgiveness and see where it leads.”

Lena’s heart soared and hopeful butterflies did cartwheels in her stomach. “Really?” She asked in hopeful disbelief.

Kara gave her a timid smile and nodded. “Really.”

Lena beamed. “Then I’ll see you tomorrow.” She said gleefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said in one of my other fics with everything going on in my country (USA) right now, my mental health has taken a nose dive, so I may not be able to update for a while. Regardless, I hope that you enjoy this chapter.
> 
> Pretty please let me know if you enjoyed, I could really use some positive feedback right now.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading. And I hope to post again soon


	4. Chapter 4

Lena was sitting on her balcony table, going over blueprints for a new way to safely, efficiently, and quickly house immigrants and refugees when she heard her doorbell chime. She furrowed her brow, wondering why Sam would be here so late in the evening, but nevertheless, she got up and walked over to her door; opening it without even second guessing who it could be.

Sam was the only one that ever came over anymore.

So, when the door fully opened to reveal a timidly smiling Kara, who was holding two coffees in her hand, Lena was stunned speechless; and her heart leapt with jubilation.

After a few awkward moments of silence between them, Kara did an awkward little wave. “ _Hi”_ She said shyly.

Lena couldn’t help the adoring smile that adorned her face. “ _Kara_.” She breathed out.

Kara nodded. “That’s me!” She chuckled.

“I wasn’t expecting you.” She said as she stepped aside and let Kara in.

Kara grinned as she handed Lena her coffee. “Yes, well. That was the plan. I wanted to surprise you.”

Warmth swept over Lena as she gestured to her couch. Kara took the hint and sat down. “Well, consider me surprised.” Lena chuckled.

Kara once again grinned. “Good.” She said before taking a sip of her coffee. “So, how’s life?”

Lena smiled. “Better now that you’re here.”

“Awe shucks.” Kara laughed. “No, seriously. How have you been? It’s been a few days since we’ve talked.”

Lena smiled, happy to know that Kara noticed that they’d not spoken. That was a step forward, right? It had to be. It _had_ to be. “I’ve been okay. We’re getting closer to making better shelters for refugee camps now. They’ll be little dome homes with a living room, kitchen, working bathroom, and one to three bedrooms. They’ll be compact, but efficient and homey, and they’ll be powered by wind and solar power and highly insulated.”

“Wow. You don’t slow down, do you?” She asked. “Always the philanthropist.”

“I try my best.” Lena smiled.

“Your best is impressive.” Kara replied easily, then she paused. Almost as if she were trying to pick her words correctly. Or perhaps, weighing her options. “So, I have a question.”

Lena raised her brows in curiosity. “I’m all ears.”

“Do you think that Supergirl is missed? Genuinely?” Kara asked. “Nia says that the world needs me again, that they need their symbol of hope back, but she’s my best friend, so I don’t know if she’s being biased or not.”

Lena’s heart cracked a little as she was reminded once again, that she wasn’t even Kara’s best friend, but she had to get her head on straight… She hadn’t been her best friend in over a decade. “And you think _I_ of all people would be less biased?” She asked incredulously.

Kara let out a soft chuckle. “I don’t know who else I could possibly ask.”

“Well, I assure you, Darling. I am _far_ more biased than Nia is.”

“Do you think the world needs Supergirl again?” Kara asked softly.

“All I know is that Earth has not been the same since you left, that the world was better with you in it. Especially my world. I’m not sure if the world _needs_ you, Kara. But I certainly know that I do.” Lena said earnestly, as she stared deep into pools of sapphire blue.

There was an upturn of the corner of Kara’s lips. “Well, thank you. I’ll keep that in consideration.”

Lena nodded; proud that she’d managed to maneuver that conversation so well. She was wholeheartedly terrified that she’d mess up. And she was so happy that Kara felt comfortable enough to ask her such a hard-hitting question. That was definitely a step in the right direction. There was no doubt in her mind about that.

“So, what have you been up to, besides helping refugees get the homes they deserve?” Kara asked, once again taking a long sip of her coffee.

“Working. That’s all I do anymore, really.” Lena confessed. “I don’t mind though. I get to help more people this way.”

Kara sat in silence for a moment, once again seemingly weighing her options; seeming uncertain if she should say what she was about to. That sight hurt Lena in a way she couldn’t describe. She wanted Kara to feel comfortable enough to talk to her about anything. Like she had when they were best friends. She missed that connection, that _bond_ that they used to have, and she was desperate to do anything to get it back.

“Kara?” She asked hesitantly. “What’s going on in that mind of yours?”

The Kryptonian sighed. “I don’t know how to act around you.”

Lena’s heart sank. She should have expected this. “Do you… _regret_ giving me a chance?”

“I don’t know. I don’t _know_!” Kara exasperatedly exclaimed. “My feelings are so conflicted, Lena. One part of me misses you and wants to forgive you. One part of me is so hurt it makes me want to guard myself from you and never let you in And another part… a _huge_ part is still so damn angry with you it makes me want to scream. And… that’s all I know. I don’t want to keep punishing you, Lena. I get it, you’ve suffered tremendously over the last decade; but I still have so much hurt, so much _anger_. It suffocates me at times.”

Lena nodded, she swallowed at the lump in her throat and fought back her tears. “If I could go back in time, I’d change everything, Kara. I would’ve told you how I fee-… _felt”_ Lena corrected herself. She didn’t want Kara to know how she felt still. Kara would think she was _nuts_ for holding on for so long. “I would’ve accepted your decision, and I would’ve tested that suit a trillion times like I was supposed to. I would fix everything if I could, Kara. And I’m working every day to be a better person… A person that is worthy of having you in her life.”

“I know, I _know_.” Kara let out a defeated sigh. “I’m so sick of this. I wish this was easier.”

Lena nodded in agreement. She too, wished for something to make this easier. “Do you think that you could ever genuinely forgive me for what I did?” She asked.

Kara looked at her with sadness and helplessness in her eyes; a sight that burned Lena’s soul like acid. “I’m trying so hard to, Lena. But it’s _so hard_. I feel like I can’t trust you.”

Lena gulped down her emotions; trying not to feel the utter heartbreak that she was suffering at Kara’s admission. “I understand. I can give you all the space you need.”

Kara shook her head. “I don’t think it’s space that I need.”

Lena furrowed her brow. Eager to find out what Kara needed so that she could give it to her. “What is it that you need? Whatever it is, I will get it for you.”

Kara smiled. “I know you would. But it’s not really something you can _get_ me. It’s something you can give me though.”

Lena was more confused than ever, but she nodded excitedly. “Absolutely whatever it is, I will give it to you, no questions asked. Tell me, and it’s yours.”

“I need to start to get to know you again. You aren’t the Lena I knew all those years ago… At least, not fully. I’d like to get to know this version of you, because I think once I can finally see that you have truly changed, once you prove to me that you can be a good friend, I’ll be able to trust you again. But not before that. So, what I need, is more of your time… if you can afford to give it.”

Lena stared at her in disbelief. Kara had no idea how excited that admittance made her. She jumped at the chance to spend more time with Kara. “Done. You call, I’ll come running. No questions asked.”

“Yeah?” Kara asked.

Lena nodded. “Absolutely. Without hesitation.”

“Well, then it’s settled. I’ll try my best, Lena. Like I said, I don’t want to keep punishing you, and I’m sorry if it seems like I am. Trust just… Doesn’t come so easily to me anymore.” Kara said. “Especially with our circumstances.”

Lena didn’t know if her touch was welcomed, but what she wanted to do more than anything was to place a comforting hand over Kara’s. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” She said strongly. “You owe me nothing. I’m just grateful you’re even trying.”

Kara looked up at Lena and gave her a tender smile. “I really am trying, Lena. It’s just so _hard_.”

“I understand completely.”

“It doesn’t make it any easier that Alex hates your guts. I know she gave me her blessing to do whatever I wanted but I can still tell she’s angry that we’re talking again.” Kara admitted. “I hate feeling like I’m betraying her.”

Lena knew that Alex would be the main issue, and she understood why. “She has every right to hate me, Kara. She’s the one I betrayed the most.”

Kara nodded. “I know.”

“Are you sure you still want to try?” Lena asked; terrified that the answer she would receive would be the one she didn’t want to hear.

“I’m not sure of anything anymore, Lena.” Kara laughed humorlessly. “So I’m just going to see where this road takes us. No point in stopping now.”

Lena smiled and nodded. “Thank you, for giving me a chance to make things right… Or at least to make amends.”

Kara nodded. “You’re welcome.”

They sat in awkward silence for a few minutes, until finally Lena couldn’t take it. “Tell me about her?” Lena asked.

Kara looked at her, face full of confusion. “Who?”

“Your… wife.” Lena swallowed. It hurt to even say the word.

Kara’s face fell. “I-I don’t…” She sighed, tears immediately welling up in her eyes, and Lena instantly regretted bringing it up. “I don’t know where to begin.” Kara croaked out.

This time, Lena couldn’t fight the urge and placed a comforting hand on Kara’s knee. “You don’t have to. I’m sorry, Kara. I had no right to ask that.”

Kara swallowed visibly. “It’s fine… it’s just… It’s only been eight months. Telling you about their existence was one thing, but thinking back to all the times we shared, it just… it brings back my yearning to have her back again to the forefront of my mind and when that happens it’s so hard to get over.”

Lena’s heart cracked. Now she understood more why Alex was being so protective of Kara. Lena had been under the impression that Kara ‘s wife had died years ago, but in reality, it was only just recent. She was still vulnerable. Still mourning her wife and child. 

“Oh, _Kara_.” She said, as she began to cry for the woman she loved. “I’m so sorry, Darling. So, _so_ sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” Kara replied as she wiped away her tears. “It’s just still a little tough sometimes. I’m getting better though. Every day it gets a little easier to breathe.”

Lena smiled sadly at her love; she understood her pain… At least to a certain degree, because she’d lost Kara for over a decade, and every day was excruciating. She also knew (because of Lena 84’s fate) that if Kara died, she wouldn’t be strong enough to continue on going. So, the fact that Kara was able to wake up every day and put o a happy face for her friends and family while she went through so much inner turmoil amazed her.

“You are amazing, Kara.” Lena said, hesitantly scooching closer to Kara on the couch, and when Kara didn’t move away, Lena had the confidence to wrap Kara up in her arms. “You are so strong, so powerful. So kind, and compassionate. So forgiving. You don’t deserve this pain.” She cooed as Kara leaned into the hug, (which relieved Lena a great amount) and cried into her chest. “You deserve so much joy and happiness. You deserve laughter, and dances, and adventure. You deserve it _all_ , Kara. I want you to know, that you’ll find it; and if you’d let me, I’ll give it all to you. I want to help you through this. I just… I need you to stay on Earth after the wedding, so that I can. I know you need to learn to trust me again, and I know that that will take time, but I also know you believe me right now. You believe that I want nothing more than to help you. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be in my arms right now, so please don’t fight this. Let me help you. Going back to Argo, where all of your memories with her are, isn’t healthy, and I know you know that. That’s why you asked me if the world needs Supergirl again. Because you’re wanting to find a reason to come back. So, now I’m giving you one. I will spend every day helping to bring you through to the other side of this pain. I will put my projects at L-Corp on hold and hand the important ones off to my upper management to make sure they’re still being done; but my main focus will be on you. Firstly, to help you heal, and secondly to work on rebuilding our trust.”

Kara stayed silent, and for a few moments, Lena worried that she’d gone too far. “K-Kara?”

“Hmmm?”

“What do you say?” Lena asked worriedly. “Will you let me help you through this?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was once again not beta read but I hope it was enjoyable nonetheless.
> 
> What do you think Kara will say?


	5. Chapter 5

Kara stiffened in Lena’s arms, and Lena’s heart palpitated out of her chest. Had she gone too far? Said too much? Crossed a line that she shouldn’t have even looked at? Was this the final nail in the already over-sealed coffin?

After a momentous amount of time passed, Lena couldn’t take the silence anymore. She had to know if she’d messed things up already. “Kara?” She asked nervously.

Kara finally separated herself from Lena and wiped her eyes. “I-I don’t know if I can do that, Lena. For so many reasons.”

“Name them, and I’ll pick them all off for you.” Lena said. “I want to help you heal, Kara. I just want a lifetime filled with joy and bliss for you. I want to help give that to you in any way that I can.”

Kara finally met Lena’s eyes, and Lena’s heart broke to see how red and puffy they were. “Lena. Alex would never let me stay here. That would hurt our relationship so much. She left her entire life on Earth to come live with me on Krypton. She and Eliza both. Not to mention Kelly and their children. I can’t betray her by coming back to Earth without them. That would be so selfish.”

Lena shook her head. “You could still visit them, and if you decide you want to go back to Krypton full-time I’ll readily accept that. I will be sad, but I’ll accept that.”

Kara visibly pondered on Lena’s words for a few minutes, leaving Lena to wait in agonizing anxiety the entire time. Finally, however, Kara looked up and spoke. “Can I… Can I think on it for a while?”

Lena’s heart sank. She had hoped Kara would agree to stay, but she supposes she shouldn’t be surprised. This was a huge decision, especially with the situation they were in. Lena had messed up far too severely for Kara to give her a concrete answer right off the bat. Unless that answer was _no_. She should just be grateful that Kara is actually giving her suggestion the time of day.

“That’s fine, Darling. I can wait. I don’t need an answer right now.” Lena said, although she was dying inside with anxiety. She wouldn’t be able to handle it if Kara left her once and for all after Nia and Brainy’s wedding. It would destroy her all over again, and she knew she knew it would be almost impossible to stay sober after that.

Kara smiled at her. “Thank you, Lena.”

Lena’s heart melted at the sight of Kara’s warm smile. “Of course, Darling. I know this is a huge decision; and one you hadn’t expected to be faced with. I want you to be absolutely certain that you want whatever you choose.”

“I appreciate that.” Kara replied. “I’m sorry I had a break down. I shouldn’t have unloaded that all onto you.”

Lena shook her head. “You have nothing to apologize for. If anything I’m the one who should be apologizing for asking such a personal question. That was none of my business.”

Kara stayed silent for a moment and then met Lena’s eyes once more. “I’m not ready to talk about her right now.” She admitted solemnly. “But you should know that she was extraordinary.”

Lena’s heart ached but she nodded. “I’m sure that if she was the one that matched with you, she was incredible.”

Kara gave a terse smile. “You’re very good at compliments, Lena.” She teased lightly.

“I try my best.” Lena said with a grin.

“So… What did you do on Krypton? Besides running the Science Guild, I mean.” Lena asked conversationally.

Kara shrugged. “Played with my niece and nephew, spent time with my mom. Volunteered at the hospital. I thought about adopting a dog, but I never got the chance to do that. Eventually though that’s on my to-do list. I love animals.”

Lena smiled. “I know you do. I remember when you told me about your cat streaky and how much you loved him.”

Kara looked at her in shock. “You remember that?”

“I remember everything about you, Kara.” Lena answered earnestly. “When I said that you’re the most important person in the world to me I meant it.”

Kara stared at her in what seemed to be awe. “I just don’t understand, Lena… After all these years, why am I still so important to you?”

“Because you are the only one that could look passed my last name and see me for who I am. You saw me as more than just another Luthor… Even though I let you down, and I will hate myself for what I did to you and Alex for the rest of my life, but I promise you, Kara. You mean everything to me, and I will never do anything to ever let you down again. What you did for me the seven years I had you in my life, is so much more than you could ever realize.” Lena confessed.

She didn’t want to admit to Kara that she was still in love with her; she knew how that would sound, but she needed to get Kara to understand how much she meant to her.

“And What was it that I gave you?” Kara asked hesitantly.

Lena smiled sadly. “A reason to live.” She admitted. “You gave me a family. You gave me acceptance. You gave me friendship. You gave me love. You gave me everything that I had always wanted but thought I would never have. And for that, I will always be grateful.”

“Wow.” Kara replied after a few moments of silence. “I… I don’t know how to respond to that.”

“You don’t have to respond to it. I just needed you to know.”

Kara bit her lip and nodded. “Okay. Um… Thank you for telling me that, Lena.”

Lena smiled yearningly and nodded back. “Of course.”

**XXX**

It had been three days since she had last seen Kara, and Lena missed her greatly. (She always missed her when they weren’t together -pathetic, she knew-.) So, she had texted Kara and asked her if she was busy and if she weren’t if she wanted to have dinner.

Kara had responded within ten minutes and told her that she couldn’t go out, but if she came to her hotel room, they could order food from there. Lena had jumped at the opportunity; and within thirty minutes, was knocking on the door to Kara’s hotel room.

A few moments later, the door swung open to a little biracial girl that had hazel eyes just like Alex’s, in a pink onesie with unicorns on it. She was precious. “Hello there, little one!” She smiled brightly. “Is your Aunt Kara here?”

The young girl nodded but said nothing and didn’t move. Lena chuckled. This little girl took the ‘don’t talk to strangers’ rule very seriously. “Could I please talk to her?”

The little girl once again didn’t move, and Lena was about to call out to Kara when she heard her voice. “Maya, I told you not to open the door for strangers!” She chastised before finally popping into Lena’s line of sight. She offered Lena a tight smile. “Come on in. Sorry, wasn’t expecting you so soon. I’ve got to put the munchkins to bed first. I’m on babysitting duty tonight. Nia, Kelly and Alex are at Nia’s bachelorette party.”

Lena furrowed her brows as she followed Kara inside. “And you weren’t invited?”

Kara chuckled. “I was, since I’m the maid of honor, but I’m just not into the whole bachelorette party thing. They never really made sense to me, but I also just… Want to avoid that scene as much as possible. I know I’m here for a wedding and all, but it still doesn’t make this any easier. It’s really hard, actually. _Really,_ hard. But I’m managing as best as I can. I just don’t need to add a bachelorette party on top of it all.”

Lena swallowed back her emotions and nodded, placing a comforting hand on Kara’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Kara. I didn’t even think about that.”

Kara shrugged. “Nia is my best friend. I want her to be happy. And me being here for her big day means a lot to her. To both of them, really. So I guess I just have to suck it up. I can breakdown afterwards.”

“It was unfair of her to expect this out of you so soon after everything.” Lena said angrily.

“It’s her wedding, Lena. It’d be rude of me to expect them to reschedule it to better fit my needs. It’s not her fault Sun died.” Kara replied sadly.

Lena knew talking down about Nia wouldn’t get her anywhere, in fact it might actually lead to them fighting and that was the last thing Lena wanted; no matter how unfair Nia was being to Kara at the moment. “I see.” She responded. “Well, she’s very lucky to have such a dedicated best friend.”

Kara gave her a half smile before she lifted her niece -Maya- into her arms. “Come on big girl, time to go to sleep! Your bubby is already out. It’s your turn, okay?”

The little girl pouted. “I don’t want to sleep.”

Kara gave Maya a conspiratorial look. “If you go to sleep tonight and stay in bed all night like a big girl I’ll make your Aunt Kara’s famous banana peanut butter pancakes! How’s that sound?” She asked as she tickled the little one’s stomach, causing her to giggle and worm around in Kara’s arms.

They both laughed, and Lena’s heart melted at the sight… If she thought she was pining for Kara a few minutes ago, she didn’t know what she was doing for the woman now. All she knew was that watching Kara interact with her niece, and how good she was with her, made Lena ache at the thought of Kara’s unborn son. She thought of how good of a mother Kara would have been. But it also warmed Lena’s soul and made her fall more in love with her than ever before…

It was a complex mixture of conflicting emotions and Lena was at a loss of what to say, so instead of speaking, she just watched as Kara kissed Maya’s forehead after the girl agreed to be a ‘big girl’ for the night at the promise of pancakes in the morning.

Once Kara came back from the bedroom she smiled. “Alright! What’re you feeling for supper?” She asked. “I’m thinking pasta.”

Lena chuckled. “Really? Not pot stickers, burgers, or pizza?”

Kara gave her a face of offense. “I beg your pardon, my food scope far outmatches yours!” She said. “I’ve eaten on thirteen different planets not including Earth and Krypton. How many worlds have you eaten on?” She asked with a challenging grin.

Lena laughed. “Okay, okay. You got me.”

“That’s what I thought.” Kara replied victoriously. She handed Lena the hotel’s menu.

They both laughed for a moment, and then went on to decide what they wanted to eat. Lena decided to switch it up and went for steak, Kara went for chicken alfredo. Once the food arrived, they settled down at the table in the room and began to eat.

“So, how have you been?” Lena asked as she cut her steak.

Kara shrugged. “Busy. Nia really waited ‘til the last minute to get everything ready.” She snickered.

“Why doesn’t she just elope? It seems a lot less stressful.” Lena suggested.

Kara gave her a look that said she knew. “I said the same thing, but… She wants it to be romantic. I told her that an elopement cans still be romantic and that since she waited until the last minute it would be easier. But she looked at me like I just went on a killing spree. So I guess we’re just going to have to suffer.” She joked.

Lena laughed. “She’s deadest on having a grand ceremony?”

“Yes.” Kara sighed. “I want her to have everything she wants though, and I’m happy to see her so excited and in love so I’m going to persevere and hope that everything works out in the end.”

Lena smiled. “Always with that golden heart of yours.”

“I wouldn’t say golden… Maybe silver, but definitely not golden.” Kara joked.

Lena shook her head. “No, it’s most certainly golden. You wouldn’t be here talking to me if it weren’t.” She paused. “Hell, honestly your heart is probably is platinum if you’re here with me.”

“Well… I’m happy you think that.” Kara said before taking a bite of her alfredo.

Lena nodded. “I do.” She said, with a hint of finality in her voice.

They shared a small smile and then fell into companionable conversation. They talked about how brainy had tried to pick out an orange tuxedo for the wedding and how Nia almost killed him, they talked about a new Chinese restaurant that Kara had happened upon just two blocks from where she used to live.

Then, they started talking about Eliza and how she was doing very well on Argo, which brought up a glaring question in Lena’s mind. “So… Have you had any time to think about my proposition?”

Kara nodded. “I have.”

“Good. That’s good.” Lena nodded, her heart in her throat and her stomach turning anxiously. “Have you come to a decision?”

Kara nodded, swallowing her food. “Yes.” She replied. “Alex and I have had a long talk, and we’ve come to a mutual understanding.”

Lena gulped at the lump in her throat. “Oh?” She croaked out as hope and anxiety both warred in her chest. “And what was that understanding?” She breathed.

“That I’m in a really bad place right now, and that Argo only makes it worse. So, even though she doesn’t trust you, she does think that staying on Earth is the best option for me.” Kara answered.

Euphoria filled Lena’s entire being. She felt as if she were flying. “Y-you’re staying?” She asked ecstatically.

Kara nodded. “I am.” She said. “But so are Alex and Kelly.”

Lena’s eyes went wide, as apprehension consumed her… She hadn’t expected that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty please let me know if you enjoyed!
> 
> As always, thank you for reading.


	6. Chapter 6

“Alex… is staying too? Here? On Earth?” Lena asked, her head was starting to spin. She hadn’t expected this massive twist of events, and she couldn’t deny that the news terrified her beyond measure. She now knew that there was no room for error. Not even the slightest bit.

Kara nodded. “Yes. She’s just being protective. She thinks that you have some evil ulterior motive or something. I don’t know.” She shrugged helplessly.

Lena gulped down the pain that that new information caused. “I see.” She let out a deep breath. “Well, I can’t honestly say that I blame her. I wouldn’t trust me either after what I’ve done.”

“Lena I-,”

Lena interjected. “Don’t worry about it, Kara. I understand. You don’t have to make excuses. I understand what she thinks, and she has every right to think that after what I put her through. She went through years of agonizing pain and paralysis. I’d hate me too. I just hope that she doesn’t sour your opinion of me. Or sway you to leave me again.”

Kara frowned. “I don’t know if she’ll go _that_ far.”

“She might.” Lena replied, fear creeping into her heart at the prospect of losing Kara all over again. She couldn’t handle that. “And I would totally understand it if she did. It just scares me, that’s all. I will do my damndest to prove to you both that I’ve changed; and to win back your trust.”

Kara gave her a terse smile. “I know.”

“Good.” Lena said, her heart uplifting at that. “I really hope I’m successful.”

**XXX**

Four days later, Lena was walking down the hall towards Kara’s room when the door to Alex and Kelly’s room swung open and out walked Kelly.

Lena’s heart started thudding rapidly in her chest as her eyes went wide and her body froze in fear. She knew how poorly Kelly must think of her.

When Kelly turned around, she froze as she met Lena’s eyes, and Lena could do nothing but gulp. They stood there for a few seconds before Lena finally broke her silence. “I-I’m not here to cause trouble. I’m just here to have dinner with Kara.”

Kelly gave her a dubious glance. “You’re my brother’s ex… and the woman that paralyzed my wife for over four years.”

Lena’s heart fell to the floor. “Yes.”

“Because you were drunk and lied.”

Lena’s eyes fell to the floor in shame as she nodded. “Yes.”

“Because you couldn’t cope with your feelings for Kara.”

Lena nodded once more, and raised her eyes to meet Kelly’s so that she would know how sincere she was about her next statement. “I never wanted to hurt her. I just…” She cut herself off with a defeated sigh before she spoke again. “I was in _so much_ pain that I tried to numb it by reaching the bottom of a vodka bottle every night. I know that it was a stupid thing to do; especially when I was working on Alex’s flight suit; but I didn’t know how else to cope. My family isn’t very well known for their healthy coping mechanisms. I know that’s no excuse, and I’m not trying to excuse what I did. I’m just asking, for a second chance. That’s all I want. To prove to them both that I have changed; that I’m good now.”

“Haven’t you cured like… a billion deadly diseases in the past decade?” Kelly asked.

Lena furrowed her brow but nodded. “A few, yes.”

“And you’ve been sober for over half a decade?”

Lena nodded once more.

“Then yes, of course you’ve changed. You are obviously good. But can you be trusted not to go back to the bottle and lies if something goes the wrong way at some point? That’s what Kara’s main issue with forgiving you is. Alex’s… Well, Alex doesn’t trust easily at all. She thinks that you curing all those diseases was just a ploy for you to win Kara over again if you ever ran into her. She doesn’t believe it was out of the genuine want to do good, or to help others. She doesn’t trust you, and I’m not sure she ever will. But we can’t really hold that against her, now Can we?”

The knowledge that she truly did have a shot at winning Kara’s forgiveness made her giddy with hope. But something about this situation seemed off; and she furrowed her brow. “You don’t hate me?”

Kelly shook her head. “I’m not going to say that I’m your biggest fan, but I don’t hate you. I’m a psychologist. I work with people with the same issues as you for a living, so I understand your predicament. I’m not justifying it, but I understand it. All I can say, is let their forgiveness happen naturally, if it happens at all. I’m not sure about Alex, but I do know that Kara wants to forgive you and trust you again: it’s just hard for her right now.”

“Th-thank you, Kelly. Knowing that you don’t hate me does help a bit.” She admitted with a smile.

Kelly nodded then gestured to the elevator behind Lena. “I have to get going. We have plans with my brother tonight.”

Lena frowned at the memory of James… Their relationship, however brief it was, was a disaster and one of the biggest mistakes Lena had ever made… But she didn’t hate him, and she was curious about what became of him. “Yes, how is James?” She asked curiously.

Kelly smiled. “He’s doing really well. The Calvintown Gazette is thriving, and he and Lucy managed to salvage their relationship. They’re happily married now and have three kids of their own.”

Lena nodded. “Well, good for him.”

Kelly gave her a half smile and a nod. “See you around.” She said. “And I wish you the best of luck.”

Lena nodded. “I’m certainly going to need it.” She replied, earning a small chuckle from Kelly.

Lena smiled. At least Alex’s wife wasn’t totally put off by her. She was clearly wary, but she didn’t wish her ill-will, and that was a win alone.

She took a few moments to bask in that comfort before she let out a breath and steeled herself. She needed to look confident, and she needed to be at her best for her dinner with Kara.

Finally, she reached Kara’s door, and before she could knock Kara opened the door and greeted her with a hesitant smile. “Hey! I was wondering when you were finally going to get here.” She chuckled. I saw you coming like twenty minutes ago. What took you so long?”

Lena swallowed. “I ran into your sister-in-law.” She answered.

Kara looked shocked. “Kelly? Oh my. What did she say?”

“She said she’s not excusing or justifying my past actions but she does understand them because that’s her field of expertise… And that she didn’t like me but she didn’t _hate_ me.” Lena bit her lip nervously.

Kara let a small laugh. “Yeah, that sounds like Kelly. Logical, wise, and understanding. That’s why I love her to bits. I’m so glad Alex found her. There’s no one out there that’s better suited for her.”

Lena smiled and nodded. “So… Where are we going to eat?”

“I was actually thinking about just going to Noonan’s. I’ve missed their food while I’ve been gone.” Kara grinned.

Lena reciprocated the grin and nodded. She’d go anywhere Kara wanted. “Sounds like a plan to me!”

Kara beamed. “Great! Let me get my jacket!”

Lena nodded, and waited in the doorway with a gleaming smile. She didn’t care where she was going, as long as she was going there with Kara.

Moments later, Kara arrived at the door, pale blue jacket buttoned up accenting her beautiful ocean blue eyes. “Ready?”

Lena stared in awe; forgetting how to breathe for a moment. “You’re stunning.” She whispered out breathlessly.

Kara looked at her in humorous confusion. “Um…. Thank you.” She chuckled.

Lena then realized what she said and felt the blush creeping up her neck and land hot and heavy on her cheeks. “I-… Sorry, it’s just that blue is a very, _very_ good color on you.”

“Yeah,” Kara laughed. “Thank you. Alex has always told me that blue was my color.”

Lena smiled. “Every color is your color, Kara.”

Kara playfully rolled her eyes and walked out of her door; using her keycard to lock it. “Stop it.” She laughed.

“Can’t. I promised to always tell you the truth, so here I am, telling you the truth. And the truth is that you make every color look better by wearing them.” Lena grinned.

Kara’s eyebrow raised. “Are you drunk?”

Lena’s eyes bulged. “What? No! I swear! I’m absolutely not I’m ju-,”

Kara grimaced. “Sorry… Sorry, that was a poor taste in jokes in this case. I was just teasing because you’re being extra flattering tonight and that’s how you always acted when you were drunk.”

Lena grimaced too. Because she remembered those days; the days where she’d get black out drunk and crawl into Kara’s lap and tell her how special, and beautiful, and amazing she was. How the world was so lucky to have her. How _she_ was so lucky to have her. She remembered the drunk love confessions and cheek kisses that she’d pass off the next morning as drunk but friendly. “Oh… Right. No need to worry. I get it, you should be able to joke about that stuff around me without feeling guilty. It was just a joke I just panicked for a second.”

Kara pursed her lips and placed a warm hand on Lena’s shoulder. “I really am sorry, Lena. I didn’t mean anything by it. I didn’t even think about-,”

“It’s already forgotten; really. I should’ve known that you were just teasing.” She gave Kara a warm, reassuring smile and tried to act as if Kara’s warm hand wasn’t searing her skin where it touched her. “Truly, it’s okay. I’m not offended. Now, let’s go and get some coffee and donuts.” She grinned.

Kara beamed at her and nodded her head as she turned and they both headed towards the elevator when it opened up to reveal Alex with a sobbing Maya in her arms. “Shhh. It’s okay sweetheart. We’ll get your blanky and then we can go back to Uncle James’ house and have all the pie you want, okay?”

The sleepy girl nodded into her mother’s shoulder and Lena couldn’t help but admire the way Alex comforted her daughter. An involuntary smile crept onto her face, until Alex noticed them and pinned Lena with a vicious glare. “I see you’re still entertaining the idea of redeeming the Luthor.” She spat angrily to her sister.

Kara frowned. “Alex-,”

“No, whatever. It’s your life Kara. I’ve warned you a thousand times. You’re just going to get yourself hurt again.” She sighed. “But don’t worry, I’ll be there either way. You’re my sister and I love you.” She then pinned Lena with another ferocious glare. “Tread carefully, Luthor.”

Lena swallowed. “Alex if you just give me a chance-,”

Alex let out a humorless laugh. “You’re incredibly lucky my daughter is in my arms.”

Kara frowned. “Alex, _please_.”

“Don’t.” She growled at Kara; which stunned Lena. She’d never seen Alex so hostile towards Kara before; it brought out something primeval in Lena that she hadn’t even realized she had; but it was an instinct she couldn’t ignore… And instinct to protect Kara.

She stepped slightly in front of Kara; placing herself between the two Danvers sisters. “Alex. Don’t talk to her like that.”

Alex raised a brow and let out an angry laugh. “Jesus Christ Lena you’re pushing all the wrong buttons tonight.” She said. “Like I said. You’re _very_ lucky that I have Maya.”

Kara stepped in between them and sighed. “Lena, maybe we should reschedule.”

Lena’s heart shattered. “Kara, no I-,”

Kara shook her head. “I’m sorry.” She said. “But I don’t think Alex is ready for me to try to reincorporate you into our lives, and I have to respect that.”

Lena couldn’t fight back the tears in her eyes. “Please tell me you aren’t saying what I think you’re saying.”

Kara looked to the floor, there was regret written all over her face, and it was so palpable that Lena almost wanted to die right there on the spot… Kara regretted getting back into contact with her.

Alex looked at her sister for a moment and switched her sleeping daughter to her other hip. “Kar’?” She asked gently as she tried to place a comforting hand on Kara’s shoulder.

Kara shrugged it off and turned, walking back into her room and closing the door.

Lena covered her mouth; silencing the sob that wanted to break free from her lips. She watched as Alex stared at Kara’s door and clenched her jaw; obviously wanting to go in but not being able to with her daughter. “ _Fuck_.” She growled under her breath.

“I know I hurt you Alex. I’ve hurt you and betrayed you in ways that I know I don’t deserve to be forgiven for. But I swear to you, I will never do anything to you or Kara ever again. Please, I’m _begging_ you, give me a chance to prove myself; if not to you, then Kara. Because I can’t lose her again, Alex. It destroyed me last time, if I lose her again it’ll just finish the job.”

Alex looked at her sleeping daughter then back to Kara’s door. She let out a huff. “If I hand you my daughter while I go talk to her; I want to be very clear; she is not to be awoken, and if there’s so much as a _hair_ out of place I swear to god I will-,”

“Alex, I know I’ve hurt you, but you have to know that I’d never hurt a child. Especially one that Kara loves so deeply. Please, let me start proving to you that I’m worth a second chance… Starting with letting me hold your daughter for a few moments while you go make amends with Kara.”

Alex looked conflicted, but after a few moments sighed in defeat. “I will let you hold her because I know there’s going to be yelling and I don’t want her woken up. But this does _not_ mean we’re okay, Lena. It just means that I have no other alternative. I still can barely even look at you.”

Lena’s heart cracked; she’d known those words were true but hearing them still seared her heart in two. She nodded and held out her hands to collect Maya in them. “We will still be standing here, in one piece, when you get back. I swear on my life.”

Alex nodded. “Yeah, you better, because your life will end if my daughter so much gets a _cough_ from you.” She said as she slowly and gently handed Maya off to Lena. Once Alex made sure Maya’s sleeping form was secured in Lena’s arms, she looked Lena dead in the eye. “I’ll be back.”

Lena nodded. “We’ll be here.”

She watched as the redhead disappeared into Kara’s room, and stood there nervously. She didn’t know what the outcome of this situation would be, but she knew she couldn’t handle it if it went south, and Kara stuck to her decision of not continuing to mend things with her. She knew that she didn’t deserve the second chance Kara had been willing to give to her, but she’d been so happy that Kara had agreed to it, she didn’t know what she would do if Kara stuck to her most recent decision and decided to end it all here.

She held the toddler, swaying back and forth and cooing her back into her sleep when her eyes opened slightly. She smiled, and admired the beauty that this little girl exuded. She made Lena envision her own children; bioengineered to be half her, and half Kara. They would be gorgeous; perfect even; just like the little girl she held in her arms.

It made her yearn for a future she knew she was never going to get; but she’d desperately always wanted. The children she could do without, but Kara? Kara was an absolute necessity, one way, or another.

She stood there, rocking the love of her life’s niece, for almost thirty minutes before Alex finally walked out of the room looking a bit more solemn than when she’d gone in. “Give me my daughter.” She said flatly; to which Lena responded by handing over the darling little toddler back to her mother. “Thanks.” Was all that Alex said before walking back down the hall and entering her room.

Lena furrowed her brow, her nerves aching with anticipation as she looked from Alex’s door back to Kara’s, hoping that Kara would come out and at least tell her what was going on. She still had whiplash from how quickly this night had gone from going extremely well, to absolutely horrible in just under twenty minutes.

She contemplated knocking on Kara’s door and begging for an answer, but she decided that it was best not to. If Kara wanted to talk to her, she would have by now; so, with a heavy heart she turned and made her way to the elevator. But just as she pushed the call button she heard a door squeak open and a melodic voice call out. “Lena! Wait!”

Lena turned around to see Kara running down to her, and she couldn’t help but give Kara, a confused but elated smile. “Kara?”

Kara stopped in front of her. “Ready for coffee and donuts?”

“Are you kidding?” Lena asked, her heart overflowing with joy. She didn’t know what happened in that hotel room, and she didn’t quite care. She was just happy with the outcome. “I’m always ready!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, not beta read so please go easy on me I'm trying. Lol
> 
> What do you think went on in Kara's hotel room?
> 
> And do you think Alex will ever forgive Lena?


	7. Chapter 7

Lena was delighted that whatever happened in Kara’s hotel room led to Kara reconsidering her stance on going out with Lena that night, but as they walked together in silence towards Noonan’s, she couldn’t help but fixate her thoughts on what could have possibly gone on in that room. Had they fought? Had they come to a mutual understanding? Had Kara gotten Alex to give Lena a second chance?

The only scenario that seemed likely was the fight; but what had the fought led to between the sisters? She didn’t want to be the cause of a rift between them. It just wouldn’t be fair. After all the pain Lena had put them through, she had no right to go causing them more grief.

So, Lena stopped her walking, and a confused Kara stopped and turned to face her. “Lena?” She asked perplexedly. “What’s wrong?”

Lena bit her lip and swallowed at the lump in her throat. “Kara, I don’t want to cause you any more pain or trouble than I already have. I’ve caused you more pain than anyone else ever has, and I don’t have the right to add more onto that. I would never forgive myself, so if Alex is still not on board with us reconnecting; if she is upset with you for giving me another chance, then please tell me so I can remove myself from the equation. I would never forgive myself if I caused you both more pain.

Kara frowned. “Lena-,”

“No, Kara. Please don’t sugar coat it. Whatever happened in that hotel room had to have been serious if Alex actually agreed to let you come with me tonight.” Lena said. “Please just tell me the truth. Am I causing you more issues?”

Kara looked her dead in the eye, and gave her a small smile. “I appreciate everything you just said, Lena. It makes me see that you really do, care; and that makes me happy. But you don’t need to worry about my sister and I. Our bond is unbreakable. I can handle her, you just worry about the present, and in the present, you and I are on our way to enjoy some coffee and donuts, remember?”

Lena’s heart soared; she had been terrified that this was going to be it. That Kara wouldn’t find her worthy of the drama she was causing between herself and Alex. But she now felt like she was soaring through the skies; a second chance was being handed to her on a silver platter; and she was going to treasure it and use it to her full advantage. She was going to mend things with Kara and help her heal from the loss of her wife and child, meanwhile she would also work earnestly, and unyieldingly to mend things with Alex.

But for right now, Kara was right. She had to focus on the present, and she was presently with the woman she loved, about to drink caffeine and eat fried sugar. She should be enjoying herself, not focusing on the negatives. “Alright. I’m sorry. I just worry about you. I never want to cause you any sort of pain. I never have wanted that.

“Thank you for caring so much.” She said with a tender smile. “But let’s just take a break from the angst and have a good time, alright?”

Lena beamed and nodded. “Sounds like a plan to me.”

“Good.” Kara grinned.

From that point, they walked and talked all the way to Noonan’s and enjoyed friendly banter. It felt amazing to be with Kara like this again; almost as if no time had passed. Lena could almost ignore all of their current issues… _Almost_. She would be able to ignore it all, if it weren’t for the lack of physical affection.

Kara was always a touchy-feely type of person to the people she cared about; and when they had been best friends those touches are what got her through each day. That, and Kara’s smile, and laugh, and looks of pure adoration sent her way.

But, she was only getting the laughter, and smile. And although she was eternally grateful that she even had that, she was still disheartened by the fact that things were so damaged between them.

“So, how was it? Back on Krypton, I mean? Did it feel like home there?” Lena asked conversationally.

Kara made a face that Lena couldn’t quite read. “Yeah, it really did. I could finally be Kara Zor-El again. But now, after Sun died, it just hurts to be there.” She sighed. “You were right, Lena. Being there, where everything reminded me of her, was absolutely agonizing, and I was losing my mind. Being here for the past few weeks has really helped a lot. I mean… It still hurts, but… It’s sort of a bearable pain now, if that makes sense?”

Lena nodded. “It does.” She admitted. “After you left Earth, being in National City hurt way too much, so traveling across the world and helping give underprivileged countries access to clean water helped me. Seeing their happiness made me happy, and being away from National City felt great; but I always knew I’d come back in the end. And I’m so glad that I did. Because if I hadn’t, we wouldn’t be here today, and I’d still be missing you.”

“How many countries did you visit?” Kara asked.

“Twelve.” Lena answered. “And then I stopped in Metropolis to visit Sam for a few weeks.”

Kara smiled at the mention of Sam. “How is she? How is Ruby?”

Lena laughed. “She’s great, actually. She and Ruby are super busy with Ruby’s college softball team’s schedule though. She’s always complaining about how far the drives are. But hey, that’s what you get when your kid gets a full ride scholarship for a sport.” She paused and smiled when Kara laughed. When she sobered she spoke again. “She loves it though. She’s incredibly proud.”

“I’m sure she is. Ruby was always incredible. She handled the Reign situation far better than most kids would have at her age. She was always polite too. One of the sweetest girls out there.” Kara said.

Lena nodded. “She certainly is impressive.”

Kara smiled and held the door to Noonan’s open for Lena and did an overdramatic bow in her normal adorkable way. “After you.”

Lena laughed, her heart melting. “God, you’re such a dork.” She replied before walking through the door.

“Hey! That’s not a very nice thing to say to someone that just held the door open for you!” Kara joked.

Lena rolled her eyes with an amused grin. “Fine, fine. You’re right. _I apologize_. Thank you for holding the door open for me, ma’am. That was very kind of you.”

Kara grimaced. “Don’t ma’am me. I’m not an old lady.”

They both laughed at that and Lena shook her head. “God, I’ve missed you. I knew I missed you more than I could possibly comprehend but this past week that I’ve had you back in my life, it’s made me realize how much I truly missed your presence in my world.”

Kara’s smiled saddened. “Lena…” She trailed off, clearly at a loss for what to say.

“I’m not trying to throw a pity party for myself, Kara. I’m just letting you know how much I need you in my life, and that I will do anything to make sure I never lose you again. I won’t need a third chance, I promise you.”

Kara gave her a small, but seemingly genuine smile at that. “Let’s go get some donuts.”

“Yes, let’s.” Lena agreed, giving a small nod.

They ordered their snacks and coffee, and took a booth at the back of the restaurant. After Kara took her first bite, Lena finally felt the courage to ask questions about the other Superfriends. She knew Alex hated her, but what about Brainy? Winn? Nia? Their opinion mattered to Kara too, and if none of them wanted Lena back into their lives just like Alex, then there was absolutely no hope for Lena to ever get back into Kara’s life.

“So, how’s the wedding planning going along? Is Nia still being a bridezilla?”

Kara laughed as she chewed her bite of donut, and nodded. “Mhm.” She swallowed her food. “She literally started crying because the flower arrangements won’t be ready until _two_ days before the wedding instead of _three_. Poor woman is going crazy with all these last minute preparations.”

Lena nodded. That definitely did sound like Nia. “Poor woman. She must be exhausted.”

Kara nodded rapidly; eyes wide. She gestured in the air as if Lena had something that gave Kara a victory. “THANK YOU!” She exclaimed. “That’s exactly what I said! She’s too exhausted and needs sleep. Especially with her being a Naltorian! She needs her extra sleep. Her hero name is _literally_ dreamer.”

Lena laughed. “Indeed it is. She’s been particularly popular ever since Supergirl ‘disappeared’ you know?”

Kara smiled. “I know, she’s kept me up to date, and I’m really glad that she was accepted so easily in my absence. It made me feel better knowing that there was still someone down here keeping the people of National City safe.”

Lena smiled. “The people love Dreamer, but they all still miss Supergirl. No one could fill her shoes.”

“I don’t know about that, Dreamer can tell the future.” Kara countered before taking another bite of her donut.”

Lena nodded. “That’s true. But Supergirl is still loved, adored, and missed by many. You asked me a few days ago if the world missed Supergirl, if the world _needed_ Supergirl? Remember? The answer is yes, they do miss her, and whether they admit it or not, whether you _see_ it or not, Supergirl is needed.”

Kara frowned. “I don’t want to be needed anymore. I just want to live a normal life and be happy… If that’s ever in the cards for me again.”

Lena frowned. “Why wouldn’t it be in the cards for you?” She asked.

“My wife is dead, Lena. That’s just one reason.” She sighed and shook her head. “Some days I really wish I had just blown up with the rest of Krypton.”

Lena’s heart sank. “Kara! You don’t mean that!”

“I do.” Kara said. “I really do, and I know that it’s selfish but-,”

“You are the furthest thing from selfish.” Lena interjected. “You’ve saved this planet so many times, Kara. How can you still not see how exceptional you are?”

“I just did what anyone in my position should have done.” Kara replied.

“But most wouldn’t. Not even the best of people would do half of what you have done for this planet. You bring safety, and hope to a world filled with violence and hatred. I’m not trying to guilt trip you back into being Supergirl again, I’m simply telling you that you are, indeed, a symbol of hope that the world could always use.” Lena said as she laid a hand over Kara’s on the table; it was the first touch she’d shared with Kara in over 14 years, and the fact that Kara didn’t pull away brought her so much joy she could barely breathe. “So don’t you ever. EVER think that you, or the world , would be better off with you dead. Because millions of people love you.”

Kara swallowed thickly and smiled. “Thank you, Lena. I think I really needed to hear that.”

They shared a tender look before Kara gently squeezed Lena’s hand and pulled it away to wipe away unshed tears. “Any way, what were we talking about before?” She chuckled tearfully.

Lena smiled, understanding that Kara no longer wanted to touch on this very sensitive issue. No matter how much Lena wanted to push it further so she could see just how much help Kara genuinely needed in order to feel whole again. “Nia and her sleep requirements.” She chuckled.

Kara beamed. “Right! Yeah, I don’t understand how she’s even functioning! Like, even when I’m on Earth I still need at least three hours of sleep, and she’s half human! She’s got to at least need 6, and that’s being lenient. So I don’t know how she manages to run around all day and sleep for only 3-4 hours, just to get up and run around all day the next day!”

Lena laughed, and they began talking strategies on how to get Nia to slow down for her own benefit. Eventually, they came to the conclusion that Kara was just going to have to put her big, strong, Kryptonian foot down and demand that she get some rest or else she wasn’t going to attend the wedding. They both knew it was extreme, but it was necessary for Nia’s health.

“So, I have a question…” Lena started, beginning to scrounge up the courage to ask the one thing she’d been wanting to for over an hour.

Kara rose a brow. “Shoot!”

“Um… How does Nia feel about us talking again? Or Brainy for that matter? How do either of them feel?” Lena asked tentatively.

Kara frowned. “Oh. Um… They just want me to be cautious.” She furrowed her brow. “Why do you ask?”

Lena bit her lip. “Just want to see how many people I have to prove myself to, that’s all.”

“What do you mean by that?” Kara asked, she seemed to get a little defensive, and Lena realized that she wasn’t wording herself very well.

“To prove that I’m worthy of being your friend again. It would be hard for you to be friends with me if all of your other friends hate me.” Lena explained slowly… She was worried that she had somehow touched a nerve for Kara regarding her friends.

Kara frowned. “I’m my own person, Lena. I can make my own decisions.”

“Well when it comes to Alex it seems to be a whole different ball game so I just assumed-,”

Kara glared at her, and Lena immediately regretted her statement. “Alex is my sister; whom you lied to, betrayed, and paralyzed. So yes, her opinion matters. It will always matter. When it comes to my friends, they don’t. Not about this. They don’t control me.”

Lena nodded. “I’m sorry, Kara I didn’t mean it like that. Truly, I understand. And I’m glad to hear that your friends’ opinion of me won’t affect our friendship.”

Kara hummed, and took a sip of her coffee. “Would you like to go see them?” She asked, as if it were an every day occurrence.

Lena’s heart started thudding with fear. “W-what?”

“Would you like to go see my friends?”

Lena gulped. She was going to have to face them sooner or later, right? Might as well start now. “Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not going to lie; it may seem strange, but this is the hardest chapter I have ever written out of all of my fics, and it took me an extra long while to feel like the conversation flowed well. So, feedback would be greatly, *greatly* appreciated.
> 
> On that note, how do you think Lena's interaction with Nia and Brainy will go?
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	8. Chapter 8

Kara told Lena that their walk to Brainy and Nia’s house was only a few blocks away, so Lena didn’t have to wallow in self doubt and anxiety over how Nia and Brainy would receive her presence. It was only about a twenty minute walk, and although Lena was nervous, she still felt somewhat calm because Kara was still next to her, and that was all she really wanted.

As long as she had Kara, in whatever capacity she could have her, she would be okay… For the most part, at least. She just hoped one day the tension between them would be gone, and perhaps. Eventually, if she got _really_ lucky, she would give Lena a chance at a romantic relationship.

She wasn’t stupid enough to believe that it would happen soon, she knew it was going to take a lot of time, and energy, and trust building. But she was determined. Determined to at least get them back to where they had been before Lena hurt Alex.

“Do you think she will be mad at you for bringing me?” Lena asked worriedly. “I don’t want to cause you anymore drama and pain than I already have.”

Kara looked at her. “If you don’t want to do this we don’t have to.”

“I do.” Lena said, assuaging Kara’s doubt. “I’m just… Worried.”

  
Kara nodded. “I get that. I would be too. Especially since Nia was the first one to shun you after everything while Alex and I were still on Argo. It makes sense.”

Lena swallowed back her anxiety as she remembers that moment like it had just happened….

_Lena sat there horrified as she sat in the DEO; horror, guilt, sadness, fear all mixing together and overwhelming her. She should have never given J’onn that suit. She knew she hadn’t tested it thoroughly enough yet. “Oh god… What have I done?!”_

_A few seconds later she heard the door slam open. “I had a dream.” She heard Nia say angrily._

_Lena turned around, tears spewing down her face. “Nia, I swear I didn’t mean for that to happen, I just-,”_

_Nia shook her head. “You know what my dream was?”_

_“No.” Lena shook her head._

_“Alex will wake up. Kara’s friends on Argo will save her… But she won’t be able to walk. Her career will be over. She will spiral into depression, and they will both hate you… You know why?” She asked viciously._

_“No! I can’t lose them.” Lena sobbed. “Please, I’ll do anything._

_“I dreamed that you knew the suit wasn’t ready. And my dreams are never wrong anymore. You knew, didn’t you?”_

_Lena crumbled into herself. She nodded. “Yes.” She whispered._

_“You’re lucky I’m a good guy, Lena. Because if I weren’t I’d throw you around this room like a rag doll.m!” She growled. “You should leave. And never come back. Because I might be merciful, but there’s no promise that Kara will be once she finds out that you did this to her sister. That this was wholly avoidable if you’d only told the truth. You could’ve gotten Alex killed! You could have gotten us **all** killed!” Nia seethed._

_Lena let out another sob. “Nia, please. You have to know that-,”_

_“LEAVE.” Nia demanded._

_And so, heartbrokenly, Lena did as requested.”_

She hadn’t been in the DEO since.

“Lena?” Kara asked, concern in her tone.

Lena blinked back to reality. “Sorry, Darling. What was it that you were saying?”

“I said that we’re almost there. It’s just up ahead.” Kara said as she pointed to a small, light blue ranch-style house. It was cute, and it looked homey.

“What a cute house.” She said with a half smile. “It definitely looks like a place Nia would choose.”

Kara chuckled. “Actually, Brainy is the one who picked it out.”

Lena raised an impressed brow. “A man that knows his woman’s taste. What a lucky lady.” She joked, earning a laugh from Kara, which lit Lena’s heart on fire with love.

“Now, on a serious note. Are you sure you’re ready?” Kara asked.

Lena didn’t want to lie, so she told the truth. “No, but I don’t think I ever will be, so now is as good a time as any. Let’s rip the band-aid off.”

Kara gave her a terse smile and a small nod before they crossed the street and walked the rest of the way to Nia’s home.

When they reached the house, Lena took a few deep, steadying breaths and followed Kara up the steps.

Kara knocked on the door, and a few seconds later the door opened to show a confused Brainy. “Kara? I was unaware that you were coming over. Was there some wedding preparation we had planned on-,” He stopped his sentence when he saw Lena nervously standing behind her. “Oh dear…” He said.

“Brainy? Who is it?” Nia called and then came around to see Kara. She smiled brightly. “Hey! Kara. What’s up? I thought we were picking out tablecloths _tomorrow?”_

“Nia, I’m not here for that. I’m here because someone wanted to talk to you.” She said as she stepped aside to bring Lena into Nia’s site of vision.

Her face instantly fell. “Why is she here?”

“She’s trying to make amends with everyone she’s hurt.”

“Well, good luck with that.” Nia said sarcastically. “You’re too trusting for your own good, Kara.”

“I never said that I trusted her, Nia. Just that she’s trying to earn back everyone’s trust. And perhaps get forgiveness eventually as well.” Kara replied cautiously.

“And Alex is okay with this? After everything she went through?” Nia asked incredulously. “She almost got her killed, and in doing so put you and I in extreme danger because we were depending on Alex getting to us in time. We almost died too!”

Lena’s heart shattered. She’d never really thought about it like that.

“You knew I was talking to Lena again!” Kara said exasperatedly.

“Yeah, but I thought Alex was going to talk you out of it.” Nia replied.

Lena’s heart broke as she realized (but wasn’t shocked) that Nia hated her too. “Nia, I know that I’ve betrayed you all, Alex most of all… but, I never _EVER_ wanted to hurt Alex, or any of you, for that matter. I just made a stupid, drunken decision; and I know I shouldn’t have been drinking, I _know_ that. I’m just asking for a chance at earning back your trust, and in the process, perhaps earning back your friendship.”

Lena looked pleadingly at the couple and realized that Brainy hadn’t said anything. “Brainy? Remember all the fun times we’ve had working on improving technology? Remember our friendship?”

“Yes, I do. But _true_ lovers of science make absolutely sure that their tech will not hurt anyone. Especially their friends.” Brainy said, not angrily, more matter-of-factly.

“I know, _believe_ me, I know. And if I could turn back time, I would. I’d change it all. But I can’t, so all I can do is ask you both for a second chance. You’ve seen how much I’ve changed over the years, haven’t you? The work I’ve been doing? And… I’ve been sober for six years! I just need a chance, that’s all I’m asking for.”

Nia looked at Kara. “This is a bad idea, Kara.”

Brainy nodded. ”She is right. There is a fifty percent chance that she will betray us again.”

Lena furrowed her brow. “That’s not possible! Your calculations have to be off, because there is absolutely _no_ way that I would ever betray any of you, _ever_ again.”

Nia sighed. “There’s one way we can solve this.”

Lena perked up at that. “Anything!” She said instantly.

Kara looked at her dubiously. “And what is that?”

“We get J’onn involved.” Nia answered.

Lena’s stomach fell. She had not seen J’onn since before the accident, and she was certain that he would never forgive her for lying directly to him, causing his surrogate daughter to almost die. She gulped. “J-J’onn?”

Kara growled and barged her way into Nia’s house and Lena didn’t know what to do besides follow her inside… Confused as hell.

“I can make my own damn decisions!” Kara seethed as she turned around and faced Nia and Brainy with a glare. “I’m a grown adult, who-,”

“Is mourning the loss of her wife and child, so isn’t thinking clearly and is easy to be manipulated right now.” Nia interrupted. “Kara, I’m just looking out for you. We all are. None of us want her to hurt you all over again. Especially not right now. You couldn’t handle it.”

Lena nodded. She could see that Nia didn’t _hate_ her, per se. But she definitely didn’t like her, and she sure as _hell_ didn’t trust her; and it was clear that Brainy harbored some negativity towards her as well. Which was saddening all on its own. But she should have expected it; she’d almost gotten his friends, and girlfriend killed all over a bottle of vodka and a drunken lie.

She placed a gentle hand on Kara’s bicep. “Kara, she’s right. She has every reason to be protective right now. I hurt and betrayed you all in an unimaginable way. That had devastating consequences. Let J’onn come. Let him see if my intentions are truly good.” She requested. Then she faced Nia with a pleading look, imploring her to agree with her next wish. “All I ask is that when he tells you that all I want is to earn back your friendships, you give me at least the chance to win back Kara’s. You don’t have to trust me, or forgive me… Just give me a chance at forgiveness, if not from you, then from Kara. That’s all I ask.”

Kara frowned. “Lena…”

Nia looked between Lena and Kara hesitantly. Brainy reached out and placed a loving hand on his fiancée’s lower back. “Nia, I think that what she is asking for is reasonable.” He urged.

“Alright.” Nia sighed. “I’ll go call him.”

**XXX**

When J’onn walked through the door, Lena’s heart palpitated rapidly in her chest. He was the one that she was most scared of. He was in control of that mission; he was the one that she had lied to. He was the one that trusted her and handed Alex the suit to put on. He, besides Alex herself, had the most reason to hate her… And he was the one most capable of getting vengeance if he really wanted to.

He eyed Lena warily, and Lena couldn’t even meet his eyes, so she averted hers to the floor. “What can I do for you?” He asked Nia.

“We all, including Lena, would like you to read Lena’s mind, so that we can tell what her exact intentions are.” Nia answered.

He looked to Lena. “Is this true?” He asked.

Lena nodded. “Yes.”

He looked to Kara. “And you?”

Kara shrugged her shoulders. “I’m against it because I think you guys should let me make my own damn decisions, but it’s Lena’s body so it’s Lena’s choice.”

J’onn hummed. “Are you ready?” He asked Lena.

Lena once again nodded, notably nervous, but ready to get this over with and prove once and for all that her motives were good. That her motives were not malicious and that she never wanted to hurt Kara ever again.

He walked over to her; “I will see everything. _Feel_ everything. Are you _sure_?”

“Yes.” Lena gulped.

“Alright.” J’onn said as he raised his hand to her forehead.

Suddenly flashes from that terrible day came flooding through her mind.

_Walking into the DEO hung over as hell, but masking it like a pro._

_Greeting Kara with a hug, while her heart swelled with love._

_Hurrying into the laboratory so that no one would notice how drunk she was._

_Drunkenly working on the suit that she was planning on giving Alex later that day._

_“Are you sure the suit is safe? You’ve tested the final product?” J’onn asked as a drunk Lena handed him the suit._

_“Of course! Should work like a charm.” Lena had smiled, hoping J’onn would leave her to her misery in peace._

_Then it cut to her watching in horror on the screen as she saw Nia and Kara fighting tooth and nail to defeat the gigantic white Martian. Where her heart shattered as she saw the Martian knock Nia out cold, and pin Kara to the ground, and ready to deliver a devastating blow to her head._

_Then she saw Alex flying there, on her way to distract him so that Kara could regain her footing and take back the upper hand in the fight._

_Then she heard Alex’s screams of panic over the com; of Alex begging J’onn to come get her because something was wrong; she was losing control of the suit and it was starting to burn her._

_She heard Alex cry, and tell J’onn that she loved him and she was so thankful to have him as her father figure. She told Kara over the com that she loved her, and was the luckiest sister in the world because she got to call Kara her sister. Told her that she wanted her to be happy, to find love, and to not blame herself for this. She heard Kara’s heartbroken, cracked voice beg Alex to keep fighting, frantically telling her that J’onn was coming; that J’onn would get her. She felt the agony; the terror; the guilt. All fresh and raw in her brain._

_She watched as Alex began to fall, and watched as J’onn fruitlessly sped to her, trying to make it in time to catch her… But it was too late, Alex had hit the ground, and her com went out. “ALEX!” She heard Kara scream, and that was when the White Martian went flying into a building, breaking a huge chunk of it._

_Kara threw furious punch after furious punch; delivering incapacitating hit after incapacitating hit until the Martian was a bloodied mess on the street._

_She flew all the way over to her sister’s lifeless form; wrapped her in her arms and screamed. “NO! NO! Alex, please, Alex wake up! Don’t leave me! I need you! Please, Alex! I can’t do this without you!”_

_The guilt, the terror, the pain, the anguish, the sorrow, the anger, the self hatred. It all came flooding back to her like it hadn’t ever left, and, truthfully, it never had. But she’d been very good at burying it. Although she never could bury the love she had for Kara, or the guilt she had from what she did to Alex. This was the biggest regret of her life._

_Now she flashed back to her current emotional state where she felt worry, fear, hope, sorrow, guilt, **love**. Nothing malicious, no ulterior motive. She just wanted Kara back… She wanted Kara to _ _**love** _ _her back._

_She was in love with Kara._

_She panicked… Oh shit! Now J’onn knew. Now J’onn-_

She zapped back out of her mind and back to the present where she saw Kara, Nia, and Brainy all looking expectantly at J’onn. “Her intentions are good. Hurting Alex by betraying us all was and is the biggest regret of her life, and she would stop at nothing to earn back your forgiveness.” He paused and faced Kara directly. “ _Especially_ yours.”

Kara looked shocked for a moment, but sobered up almost immediately. “So what does that mean, J’onn?” She asked, clearly trying to get this conversation to get to the point.

“It means that she is being genuine. She truly does want to make up for what she’s done, and earn back a place in your lives.” J’onn said, confirming what Lena had been saying for _weeks_.

She wanted to say I told you so, but she couldn’t. She deserved every bit of distrust these people were throwing at her. She couldn’t fault them for not trusting someone that had betrayed them in such a drastic, and devastating way.

Nia hummed. “And will she make up for what she did? Or will she mess up again as soon as things get hard?”

“That is unclear, that is wholly based on her future actions, not her past memories.” J’onn said. “I can’t tell the future, I just read minds. All I can say is that her intentions are innocent.” J’onn answered.

Lena gulped and looked at Kara, hoping to gauge a reaction. She couldn’t though, and that slightly unsettled her more than she already was.

“See?” Lena asked. “Now can you please just give me a _chance_? You don’t have to trust me, you don’t even have to _like_ me, please just give me a chance to earn that back. At least give me a chance to earn it back from Kara without interfering. That’s all I ask. _Please_.”

Nia furrowed her brow, but then looked between Brainy, Kara, and J’onn and nodded. “Alright. But let’s be clear, I’m watching you. So don’t mess up.”

Lena’s heart lit with joy and a smile spread across her face. “Thank you! Thank you. I promise I won’t mess this up. I never want to lose Kara again.”

Nia nodded. “That’s good to hear.”

**XXX**

Shortly after that, they left Nia’s, and Kara began to walk Lena home for the night. “Tonight was pretty intense.”

Lena huffed out a small laugh. “Tell me about it.”

“Why did you let J’onn read your mind?” Kara asked.

Lena looked at her and smiled. “Because I will do anything and everything to make this as easy as possible on you, and getting Nia and Brainy (slightly) off of your back about me, did that. So I let J’onn see everything.”

“I saw the emotions on your face… You basically relived all of that grief… Just for me?” Kara asked in shock.

“I’d do anything, for you.” She said reverently. She then stopped and turned so that she was face to face with Kara. “I know that over 14 years ago I fucked up, and it probably seemed like I wouldn’t, but I would. I would walk through fire and brimstone for you, Kara. I’m not about to let you go again without a fight to the very end. I know I keep repeating myself, and I know that my words mean nothing until I back them up with my actions, but I just need you to hear me, Kara. I need you in my life. I can’t lose you again.”

Kara looked at her for a few moments, almost seeming to be examining her. “Why?”

Lena frowned, her heart tanking. She hadn’t expected that question. She was hoping she’d never be faced with it, if she were honest, because she couldn’t tell her the truth… That she’s still in love with her even after all this time. “Why?” She asked. “Haven’t I answered that question for you enough times by now?” She asked with a nervous chuckle.

Kara’s brows didn’t unfurrow. In fact the furrow grew even deeper. “Lena… You’re hiding something from me.” Her tone sounded disappointed; and to know that she disappointed Kara was like a knife through her ribcage, straight through her heart.

“Kara. Please, it’s not like that. I swear. _Please_. I know I have no right to ask this of you, but please just trust me on this one small thing. Please?” She asked, tears begging to fall, but she fought them with all her might.

“How can I trust you? J’onn said your intentions are good and I believed him, but here you are, obviously hiding something from me anyway.” Kara shook her head. “What am I supposed to think?”

“If you don’t trust me, trust J’onn and his opinion. Please?” Lena cried.

Kara looked at her and studied her for a few moments before she sighed. “Fine. But please don’t make me regret this.”

Lena nodded. “I won’t. I will prove to you that I can be trusted again.”

They continued walking, and talking, until they reached Lena’s penthouse. She smiled nervously, wanting to make this night last as long as she could. “Well… Tonight has been interesting.” She laughed. “But thank you for the fun time at Noonan’s, and thank you for sticking up for me with Nia. I know that I didn’t deserve that. She was right not to trust me.”

Kara shrugged. “I get that she’s trying to protect me, but I’m a big girl, and I can make my own decisions.”

“May I ask you a very blunt question?” Lena asked.

“Don’t you always?” Kara teased, making Lena laugh… She really did love this woman, and this interaction was just deepening that love even further. 

“Yes, I suppose I do.” She smiled, then nervously bit her lip as she thought about how to phrase this question. After a few moments of silence Kara spoke up again.

“What’s wrong Lena? What do you want to ask me?”

Lena let out a shaky breath. “Why are you giving me this opportunity?”

Lena watched Kara’s brows crease. “What do you mean?”

“What made you decide to give me the opportunity to earn your trust and forgiveness? What made you want to go through all of this trouble?” She bit her lip again nervously before continuing. “I mean, I’m beyond grateful, and I intend to use this chance to go above and beyond to show you how much I’ve grown, but I can’t stop wondering what made you change your mind.”

Kara gave her a half smile. “Remember when Mon-El had to leave Earth the first time and I was a sobbing mess because I thought I could never find love again. Because I was too alien, and no one else but him would or could ever want me?”

Lena frowned at the memory; that night had broken her heart. She blamed herself for that, and she would never stop. She shouldn’t have trusted Rhea. “Yes. I remember.”

“You held me, and you rocked me, and you told me anyone in the world would be lucky to have me as their partner.”

“I still firmly believe that, Kara.” Lena said emphatically.

Kara gave her a tender smile. “Remember the time we took down Morgan Edge together? Remember how we went out dancing that night to celebrate and I got so sick on Nalturian rum that I ended up in the bathroom hunched over a toilet barfing my guts out?”

Lena gave a small laugh and nodded her head. “Yes, I do remember that.”

Kara nodded. “Then you also remember that it was you who held my hair back and rubbed my back through the whole thing, while whispering comforting words to me, yes?”

Lena furrowed her brow but nodded. “Yes, of course. I felt terrible because I was the one that had suggested we both get drunk.”

Kara smiled, and it was so tender that Lena’s heart almost exploded. “So that means you also remember the late night talks, the inside jokes, the brunches, the lunch dates, the game nights… All the laughter we shared. The bond that we had… You remember all of that?”

Lena looked at her in confusion; her throat swelling with emotion. “Yes.” She croaked out.

“I miss _that_ Lena. _My_ Lena. Not the one that lied and almost got my sister killed.” She explained. “So, if there’s a chance that I can get her back, then I’m going to take it. So… Can I get her back? Can you show me that that’s who you still are?”

Lena nodded rapidly, her heart swollen with hope. “Hell yes.”

Kara smiled. “Here’s to hoping” She said. “You have a good night, Lena.”

Lena nodded. “You too, Darling.” She breathed as she watched Kara walk away. She hurriedly entered her penthouse and flung her purse and keys onto the couch. She rushed over to her home office, and opened her desk drawer where she kept a few of her extrapolators.

She knew that she needed help, and she couldn’t go to Sam, because she just _wouldn’t_ understand… But she knew someone who would.

So, she activated the extrapolator and jumped through the portal, hopping to her doppelganger’s Earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What Earth do you think Lena 109 is jumping to??


	9. Chapter 9

Lena landed with a harsh **thud** , which temporarily knocked the wind out of her. But after a few moments of groaning (she hated world hopping) she stood up to realize that she was standing right in front of a beautiful beach house. She was impressed that her doppelganger had branched out from fancy penthouses and finally bought a beautiful home of her own. That brought a small smile to her face.

She walked up the eight steps that led to the front door of the house, and knocked three times and waited hopefully.

A few moments later, the door swung open to show her doppelganger looking at her with horrification written all over her face. “109? Oh shit… What’s wrong this time? Another crazy Lex? Or Lucy… W-,”

“I came here for advice.” Lena explained. “You are the one that messed up almost as badly as I did with your Kara, but somehow you managed to win her back, and even steal her away from Lucy… The _good_ Lucy. So I need your help to get my Kara back.”

Lena 38 furrowed her brow. “But I thought that your Kara went to go live on Argo with Alex and Eliza?”

Lena bit her lip and nodded. “She did. And for twelve years she stayed there, only coming down to Earth once in a while to visit the Superfriends. But Nia and Brainy are getting married, and she came down to Earth with Alex and her wife Kelly, and their two children to help Nia and Brainy with the wedding planning. I was at Noonan’s when I saw her, and then I chased after her and asked to talk… It went from there. And she has agreed (against Alex’s and Nia’s wishes) to give me a chance to earn her trust back. I need to make sure I don’t let her down. I don’t want to make her regret this. I don’t want to lose her again.”

Lena 38 frowned but nodded letting 109 in without hesitation and closing the door behind them. Lena 109 marveled at the inside of the house. Decorated with dozens of pictures of the happy couple on the wall. She smiled, her heart filling with hope that some day she and Kara would share this happiness. “This is incredible.” She breathed out in awe. She faced 38 with a grand smile. “You’re a very lucky woman.”

“Believe me, I know.” 38 laughed. “Every day I wake up next to her, and it still feels like a dream. Like I couldn’t _possibly_ be this lucky. It feels like I’m living in a fantasy world. She makes me so happy, and I just can’t fathom it most days. But She’s real, we’re real, and our marriage is real. I’m the luckiest woman in the galaxy; and I strive every day to make her feel like she didn’t make a mistake by choosing me. Because I still can’t believe that she did.”

109 smiled. “How did you do it? How did you pull off making amends with her after everything that you did?”

Lena 38 laughed and shook her head. “Sometimes I don’t even know. We had a falling out for over six months at one point, but when I called CatCo about my new cancer cure, her secretary forwarded my call straight to her. It was almost like fate had wanted us to talk again. I did a lot of apologizing, a lot of hoping, a lot of listening.”

109 frowned. “There has to be _something_.”

Lena 38 shrugged. “Well, I did give her CatCo.”

“You… gave her CatCo?” 109 asked in shock.

“Mhm.” 38 nodded. “That’s why she had a secretary when I called CatCo for the exclusive.” She chuckled. “CatCo is Kara’s passion. It’s what makes her feel like _Kara_. When Lena 9,886 told me to make a huge grand gesture, I decided handing over CatCo to Kara was the best one out there.”

109 swallowed anxiously. “But… I sold CatCo back to Cat Grant eight years ago.”

“Oh… Well then I suppose that won’t work for you, will it?” 38 laughed. “Maybe talk to Cat Grant about offering Kara a job as a senior editor, or perhaps even ask Cat to hand over the reigns to Kara.”

109 shook her head, upset that none of 38’s ideas seemed to be plausible. “That won’t work. Kara isn’t planning on staying on Earth forever. She plans to go back home to Argo eventually… Just not for a while.”

“Well, yes… But if you get her a job at CatCo again, that might be enough of a reason to persuade her to stay on Earth.” 38 said mischievously. “And the longer she’s on Earth, the longer you have to prove your worth again.”

Lena found that she liked that idea… She liked that idea _very_ much. “You’re right. That could totally work!” She exclaimed excitedly. “Oh my god, 38 you’re a genius!”

Her doppelganger smiled and laughed haughtily. “I won’t deny you that.” She joked.

Just then, they heard the front door open and close. A few seconds later, Kara 38 rounded the corner and sighed exasperatedly when she saw both Lena’s on her couch. “Great… What multiverse crisis are we dealing with now?”

109 found Kara 38’s reaction to see her humorous and utterly endearing. “No crisis this time, I assure you.” She laughed. “Just came here to get a bit of advice from your wife. Which she delivered well.”

Kara 38 walked over to her wife and sat next to her, kissing her passionately before smiling at 109. “Yes, she’s very good at helping people.” She looked at 109 curiously. “What did you need advice about?”

Lena 109 bit her lip nervously. “How to win back my Kara’s trust.”

Kara looked between the two women. “Oh! I remember you you’re the one that…” She frowned. “You’re the one that paralyzed your Alex. I remember the scar.”

Lena 109’s heart sank, but she nodded. She couldn’t lie. She was, indeed, the Lena that paralyzed her Alex. “Yes. That’s me.”

“I thought your Kara left Earth?” Kara asked curiously.

“She did. But she came back for a few months for Nia and Brainy’s wedding… She’s very hurt, she doesn’t trust me, Alex hates me, and to top it all off, Kara is still dealing with the pain of her wife’s death.”

They both froze. “She was bonded on Krypton?”

Lena nodded. “Yes. To a beautiful woman named Sun-Kev Tu. I-,”

“Oh my god! I know Sun Kev-Tu! She and I were best friends when we were younger.” Kara said. “We were always so close. It makes _perfect_ sense that she and I bonded in another universe.”

Lena frowned, sadness burning in her chest… Kara hadn’t mentioned that part. Could it be that Kara was still hiding things from her? She wouldn’t blame her. She wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing these intimate details with her either if she were in Kara’s shoes. But it still hurt; she thought they had made at least a _little_ progress. But it seemed as if it were smaller than she’d originally thought. “I see.” Was all that she could manage to reply with.

“How long ago did your Kara lose her?” Lena 38 asked.

“A little over eight months ago.” Lena informed.

Kara grimaced. “She’s still in mourning, then.”

“Yes.” 109 nodded. “And I want to help her through it. I want to help her heal, and I want to earn back her trust, but I don’t know what to do or where to start. I just wish things were totally different.”

“You don’t start. You have to let Kara start. You have to let her come to you.” Kara 109 said. “If I were her, I wouldn’t have ever reconnected with you in any form, so the fact that she has decided to, means you’re already going in the right direction.”

Lena nodded. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Kara said she looked down at her wife with love filled eyes before looking back up to 109. “She will always carry a deep love for her wife, so even if, by some chance, down the line you two do end up starting a relationship, you will have to come to terms with that. Do you think you can handle that?”

Lena nodded. “If it means I get to love her, and give her everything she’s ever wanted, then yes. I can handle that. And I could handle a lot worse. I _have_ handled a lot worse.”

Kara smiled and nodded. “Then I think you’ll be okay.”

Lena 109 smiled. “Thank you both. You’ve given me a lot to think about, and a lot of hope.”

“You’re welcome, 109. Just be careful… Don’t get yourself hurt, and especially don’t hurt your Kara.” Lena 38 requested.

“I won’t.” 109 asserted. “Never again.”

And with one last goodbye, Lena reopened a portal and landed in her home office.

**XXX**

She had a plan. She wasn’t sure if it was a _good_ plan, but it was all she had at the moment.

She got ready to sleep; showered, changed into pajamas, brushed her teeth, and then laid in bed. Before she fell asleep, her mind swirled with all the things she wanted to do to help Kara, but for now, she would try her best to sleep, and tomorrow she would begin trying to help Kara heal.

**XXX**

**Lena:** I was wondering if you were free today? I’d love to grab lunch with you.

 **Kara:** I’m at the park downtown. Babysitting duty today. Sorry.

 **Lena:** Nonsense. I could meet you there? I could bring coffee and treats for us and the kiddos.

 **Kara:** Sure, if that’s okay with you I don’t see why not.

 **Lena:** Fantastic! I will see you soon!

Lena smiled at her phone; she was completely excited to tell Kara the news she had. She hoped that it wasn’t too much for Kara; or that Kara wouldn’t be angry at her for going to Cat without Kara’s knowledge, but nevertheless, she was excited.

She grabbed her purse and keys, and picked up two piping hot cups of coffee from Noonan’s and grabbed two slices of apple pie for the kids. She even bought Kara two orange sticky buns; knowing those were her favorite things on Noonan’s menu. She hoped that this would brighten their days.

Once she had all the items she bought, she carried the drink carrier and plastic bag filled with goodies the eight blocks to the park. She looked around, searching for Kara when she spotted her.

Her heart melted, and a bright smile crossed her face when she saw Kara, with her niece and nephew chasing them around.

“Arrrrr!!! I’m going to get you!” She said as she chased Dominic.

“AHHH!!!” He squealed and began giggling as he dodged Kara’s attempted attack. “HAHAHAHA! You missed me, monster!” He laughed.

“You may have escaped me…” Kara said in a gritty voice. “Buuuuttt… Can _Maya_?!” She asked as she twirled around and headed straight for Maya.

“Nooooo!” Maya giggled as she ran away from Kara.

Lena watched in love, and in awe at Kara… The fastest, strongest, person on the planet. Play as if her niece and nephew were faster than her. She was so gentle, so loving, so _amazing_. Lena couldn’t understand how someone like Kara actually existed. Her heart broke all over again as she realized that Kara’s unborn child missed out on having Kara in his life. Missed out on life in general. She felt her heart ache for Kara… She would be such an amazing mother.

A few moments later, Maya was on top of the play tower, and Kara chuckled before turning to face Lena. “Hey!” She greeted warmly. “What’s up?”

Lena smiled as she raised the drink carrier and the bag of treats. “I come baring gifts.”

“Thank goodness. Coffee was the one thing I missed most about Earth.” She joked.

Lena smiled as she pulled out the sticky buns. “Even more than these?”

Kara squealed. “No, definitely not.” She said as she quickly grabbed them from Lena’s hand.

Lena laughed; her heart filled to the brim with love. She was happy she could so easily make Kara’s day. Food truly was her love language. “I didn’t think so.”

“What else is in the bag?” Kara asked.

“Oh! Two slices of apple pie. One for Dominic, and one for Maya.” She said proudly.

“Wow. They’re going to love you after today.” Kara laughed.

“Well, that is definitely what I was going for.” She admitted with a grin.

Kara laughed and led Lena to a bench close by so that they could enjoy each other’s company, but she could also watch over the children. “How are you?” She asked, taking a bite of her sticky bun.

“Better now that I’m here.” Lena said sweetly. “You are really good with them.” She said pointing towards the two adorable kids playing on the jungle gym.

Kara smiled at them lovingly, but Lena could see the understated pain in her eyes. “They’re my whole world now.” She said. “They’ve kept me sane through it all. Being their aunt, that’s what gets me through it… And Alex, obviously. I love them with everything I’ve got.”

Lena smiled, she swallowed back her pain. “How are _you_ doing, Kara?”

Kara chuckled. “I’m alive.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.” Lena replied.

Kara turned and made eye contact with Lena. “Most of the time I’m numb, and when I’m not numb, I am either distracted by something like my nephew and niece, or Nia’s wedding… And if I’m not distracted, and I’m not numb, I usually just want to die.”

Lena’s heart broke. She had been right; Kara was masking her pain, but it was so much worse than Lena could have ever predicted… This was the second time Kara had brought up being suicidal. “Kara… Hiding behind your niece and nephew isn’t going to help heal you. You have to take on the pain, feel it, and go through it. I will hold your hand the whole way through, but you have to face it. And to face it, you have to talk about it. You can’t bottle it up. If you do, it will destroy you.”

Kara took another bite of her sticky bun and then sipped at her coffee before sighing. “She was my best friend when we were children… Before the planet exploded and I was sent to Earth. We would even have sleep overs. So, it only made sense that we’d fall in love later on in life, and when we were matched by the Matricomp, it sealed the deal. We bonded immediately. She was funny, and attentive, she listened to all of my woes, and I listened to hers. We just… _fit_. I was so happy with her, Lena. I saw myself being with her for the rest of my life, but I wasn’t so lucky.” She had tears in her eyes, and Lena couldn’t take it. She started crying as well.

“I’m so sorry, Kara. You didn’t deserve that, and neither did Sun.” Lena cried. “You deserve so much happiness, and I’m sure that you made Sun the happiest woman to ever live. She was lucky to have bonded with you.”

Kara shook her head. “Was she though? Because I’m the one that got her killed. I’m the one that impregnated her. It was my fau-,”

“No.” Lena interjected firmly. “You are not going to sit here and blame yourself for the death of your wife. You didn’t kill her, you had no idea that her body couldn’t handle pregnancy. Neither of you did. She willingly carried that baby, and you two were going to have a happy, loving, prosperous life together. I know for a fact that she wouldn’t blame you, and you shouldn’t blame yourself either. None of this was your fault, Kara. You would never hurt someone. Especially not someone you love.”

Kara smiled sadly. “Thank you.” She replied as she wiped at her eyes. “But it just doesn’t _feel_ like that.”

Lena frowned for a moment, she wanted to make Kara feel like herself again. Wanted to remind her who she was, and how incredible she is. So, she decided now was a good a time as any to tell Kara what she’d managed to do with Cat Grant. “Well, I have something to tell you that might take your mind off things a bit more, and maybe it will remind you of who you are.”

Kara looked at her curiously. “What did you do?” She asked cautiously.

Lena smiled nervously. “I talked to Cat Grant… She’s offered to give you a position as head editor. You’d be working above Snapper, and directly under Cat. You’d even get to have one article in _each_ issue all of your own. guaranteed.” She finished as she nervously watched Kara ponder her statement.

Kara was just about to reply, when Maya interrupted. “Aunt Kara! I want a snack!”

Lena watched as Kara went from serious mode, to loving Aunt mode and smiled. She watched Kara give the excited children their slices of pie and she just adored them all. She felt like she could get used to this… She _knew_ she could.

But at the moment… She didn’t even know how Kara felt about what she’d done, and that made her anxious.

Very anxious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, not beta read so I apologize if there are errors.
> 
> Any who, what do you think Kara is going to say about the job offer?
> 
> And how did you feel about seeing Earth 38 Lena again?:)
> 
> Let me know! :) and, as always, thank you for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

Lena sat anxiously as she watched Kara dote over her niece and nephew for a few more hours… Kara hadn’t said a word to her since Lena had told her about the job offer Cat Grant gave her. After feeding the kids their pies, Kara wiped them up and went off to play with them on the playground. She played hide and seek with them, then played their monster game again, and then, eventually, she had invited Lena to play in their game of tag.

Lena had taken that as a sign that Kara wasn’t angry with her, and she was at least grateful for that. But when Kara carried Dominic and Maya back to the hotel, both of them sleeping with their heads on Kara’s shoulders, it was finally just the two of them again… But they were walking in relative silence, and that made Lena start to worry all over again.

They were about three blocks away from the hotel when Lena finally couldn’t take it anymore. She needed to know what Kara was thinking. “Kara?”

Kara looked over to her. “Hm?”

“What do you think about the job?” She asked, not even remotely attempting to be subtle… She was scared, and Kara could read her too well for her to even try to hide it. It wouldn’t work no matter what she tried doing.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now.” Kara said as she turned her head back to the sidewalk in front of them.

Lena gulped. “Are we okay?”

“We haven’t been okay in a long time, Lena.” Kara said, breaking Lena’s heart… But then Kara stopped walking and turned around to face Lena with a sigh. “I was angry.” Kara admitted. “But then I watched you with the kids… They love you. You were so _good_ with them. You brought us snacks and you comforted me when you didn’t have to. You weren’t trying to offend me. You had no ill intentions. You didn’t think I couldn’t get the job on my own. You were just trying to help.”

Lena gulped back her emotions and nodded. “That’s all I want to do, Kara.”

Kara nodded. “You helped a lot today.”

Lena couldn’t fight back the watery smile. Hearing Kara compliment her was something out of her fantasies. “I’m glad.” She stated. “That makes me really happy.”

Kara offered her a tender smile before turning around and walking towards the hotel once again.

**XXX**

When they reached the hotel, Kara immediately laid the two sleeping children in the bedroom before coming back out to find Lena standing nervously in the middle of the living area of the suite.

Lena felt so insecure. She wasn’t sure if she was even welcomed, and if she was, wasn’t sure where she was supposed to sit down.

“You can take a seat.” Kara said as she gestured to the couch and chair in the living area. Lena smiled, and her heart filled with delight when she realized that Kara was welcoming her to stay.

Lena took a seat on the chair, and Kara soon followed her, and sat on the side of the couch closest to Lena. “Today was fun.”

Lena’s heart did a back flip. Kara had enjoyed their time together. She beamed at Kara and nodded her head in agreement. “It truly was. I’m so glad you let me come.” She bit her lip for a moment, not sure if she should chance it; but deciding that nothing between them would ever move forward if she didn’t finally take the leaps that she should have made all those years ago… Besides, this was a minor risk. Nothing too big should come of it. “I’d like to do this again sometime… If you wouldn’t mind.”

Kara stared at her for a moment; and Lena could see the war in her beautiful blue orbs. It caused her heart to ache to know that Kara was still so hesitant around her. Don’t get her wrong, she understood, but even so, it didn’t stop the pang in her chest.

“That might be possible.” Kara finally replied.

Lena smiled, her heart soaring to new heights. The risk had paid off. “Really?”

“Really.” Kara said with a nod.

Lena’s smile turned into a dopey grin. “I’m looking forward to it.”

They started chatting, and it was nice, and cordial, and less hesitant on Kara’s part than it had been before. It made Lena’s hope rise to an all new high, and she was excited to see what the future had in store for them. She knew that it was going to be complicated, she knew that it was going to be a long process, but she seemed to be going at a pretty good speed in the right direction.

“Want to order some food?” Kara asked thirty minutes into their conversation.

Lena laughed; she had always found Kara’s affection for food adorably endearing, and this time was no different. “Sure. I could eat!”

Kara grinned and pulled out a quarter. “Heads for pizza, tails for Thai” She said.

And Lena’s heart almost stopped… This was their old routine. Every time Lena had spent the night when they were friends, Kara would pull out a quarter and say the exact same thing… Sometimes with other food options, but always the same general consensus. Knowing that Kara was trying to bring back something that was so intimate between the two of them made her heart melt. She wanted to run over to the other side of the room and just hug the ever-living daylights out of her out of pure gratitude.

She watched as Kara flipped the coin into the air and caught it. When she uncovered it she frowned, clearly not getting the answer she wanted. “Heads!”

Lena chuckled. “It seems to me that you wanted Thai instead.”

Kara shrugged. “I’ve just been eating a lot of pizza lately because I’ve been with the kids a lot this week.”

“Then why even make it an option now?” Lena asked.

“Because I know that you really like that Rizzollio’s deep dish pizza and I wanted you to have an option too.” Kara answered.

Lena’s heart melted. Even after all this time, Kara was still thinking about her needs and wishes. She felt her stomach fill with butterflies. “You’re amazing for thinking of me, Darling. But I am more in the mood for Thai tonight anyway.”

Kara’s face lit up. “You are?”

“I am.” Lena confirmed with a smile. (Truthfully, she was hoping for Rizzollio’s Deep Dish, but seeing Kara’s face light up because of her was far more satisfying than any pizza could ever be.)

“AWESOME! I’ll get the menu.” Kara replied excitedly.

And so from there, Kara let Lena choose what she wanted, and she ordered for herself and within no time at all, they were sitting at the kitchen island together eating boatloads of delicious Thai goodness.

“Mmmm. You’ve got to try this Chicken Satay!” Kara moaned as she held out her fork to Lena.

Lena gulped, the thought of eating after Kara, and the thought of Kara _feeding_ her made her libido run on over drive. She smiled nervously as she slowly opened her mouth and allowed Kara to put the fork in.

Lena closed her lips around the fork and looked at Kara who was staring at her with an awkward smile on her face. It was then that she realized that she had been holding onto the fork much longer than necessary. Embarrassed, she let go of the fork and started chewing the satay. She moaned at the taste. “Oh my god, this _is_ really good!”

Kara smiled and nodded. “I told you! Best Satay I’ve ever had, and I’ve had a _lot_.”

Lena gave a small chuckle and nodded. “Yes, you have. More than anyone I’ve ever known.”

After that, they fell into a companionable conversation. They talked about the weather, about how Clark and Lois were doing, about how Lillian had gone missing for over six years, and Lena didn’t miss her one bit.

They talked, and they talked, and they talked, and eventually Lena couldn’t help herself and brought up the enormous elephant in the room. “I know you said you didn’t want to talk about this earlier, but I have to ask… Are you going to take Cat up on the job offer?”

“I don’t think so.” Kara said with a shake of her head. She put down her fork. “I really appreciate the sentiment, Lena. I know you weren’t trying to do any harm, but I want to get jobs because I’ve earned them. Not because someone pulled strings to get me it. And I don’t plan on staying on Earth forever. We all know eventually I’m going to move back to Argo. It’s where I belong, so there really isn’t a reason for me to get a job down here in the first place.”

Lena shook her head. “No, Kara you _did_ earn that job! Cat would have offered it to you in person if she had known you were back! How was she supposed to offer a job to someone she had no way of getting in touch with? All I did was ask if she had any positions available for you. _She_ picked the position that _she_ thought was best for you. And she thinks that being a senior editor is where you’d excel. That’s all.”

Kara looked hesitant to believe Lena but shrugged. “Well, that’s nice to hear, I’ll admit.” She said before taking a sip of her drink. Once she put her glass down, she looked back at Lena. “But that still doesn’t change the fact that I don’t plan on putting down any roots here on Earth. I’m going to go back to Argo someday.”

That reminder caused Lena’s heart to ache, but she nodded in acceptance. “I understand that. But while you’re here, I think working at CatCo again would be great for you. It will give you something to focus on, give you a way to feel more like yourself again. You love writing, you love CatCo, and you love being a reporter. Why not jump back into it? It could really help you, and I think you need that.”

Kara looked at her and chuckled sardonically. “You don’t know what I need, Lena. Writing in a magazine isn’t going to make the fact that my wife and baby are dead any less clear. What distracts me, are those two kiddos in there.” She said as she pointed towards the bedroom. “And if I’m working at CatCo, that’s less time I get to spend with them, which means more time focusing on the fact that I’ll never get to kiss Sun again. So just stop, okay? I’m not taking the job.”

Lena swallowed back her emotions. Her heart was aching. She realized that she crossed a line, that she had butted into a position that was not hers to take… Especially not with the circumstances they were currently in. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you so hard. You have every right to choose not to take the offer, and I’m sorry for overstepping. I just want to help, and apparently am not doing a very good job of it.” She sighed and shook her head. “I just want us to be okay again. I want to help you heal, and I want to make us okay again, and I thought by doing this, it would push us forward. But I was wrong, and shortsighted, and I’m sorry. Please, don’t be angry. I can’t handle that again. Not after we just started working at fixing our friendship after all these years.”

“I’m not mad, Lena.” Kara sighed. She looked to the floor. “I’m just… _done_. Okay? I don’t have a passion to do anything anymore, including writing. Nothing but those kids and food make me happy. And even food doesn’t help sometimes. I’m just… moving through life. I don’t let them see it and I put on an apparently exceptionally good act, but I’m just not okay anymore. I don’t love life anymore. I don’t know how to explain it. But I’m just… I’m not whole anymore, Lena. So, I’m not even sure _why_ you’d want to reconcile after all this time with someone that isn’t even themself anymore.”

Lena’s heart shattered. Hearing Kara talk so badly about herself broke her heart. She needed to fix this somehow. “Kara, you _are_ whole.” She swallowed back a sob as she moved closer, taking a chance, and cupping Kara’s cheek with her palm; feeling relieved when Kara didn’t instantly pull away. She looked into sapphire eyes filled with anguish and spoke reverently. “You are extraordinary, and you are funny, and you are everything good. You aren’t broken, Kara. You’re just grieving, and you have _every_ _right_ to be. You miss your wife, you long for your unborn child, and you are hurting because of the loss of them. That is understandable, but you also can’t let it consume you. So, let me help you through it. Don’t shut me out, okay? I know it’s probably still almost impossible to trust me, but I won’t let you down again, Kara.”

Kara looked into Lena’s eyes. Her sapphire orbs showing a war of a thousand different emotions. “I don’t think you can help me, Lena. I don’t think anyone can.”

“Watch me.” Lena said without even a moment’s worth of hesitation. “I will fight til my last breath to help you, Kara. That is, if you’ll let me.”

Kara frowned. “Why?”

Lena swallowed back her anxiety and used her thumb to caress Kara’s soft cheek. “Because I love you, Kara.” She knew it was a huge risk… Especially if Kara realized what type of love Lena was referring to, but alas, Kara was an adorable oblivious space puppy and she clearly didn’t put two and two together.

A shocked “Oh.” Is all that Kara responded with.

Lena couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle. “Not what you expected to hear, darling?”

“No, not really.” Kara gave her a small laugh. “I don’t really know what I expected to hear, honestly.”

“Well I’m telling the truth. I care about you, Kara. I know you don’t understand why, but I do. And I want to make you see that you are amazing. I want to help you feel like yourself again. And I think the first step to doing that, is to get you doing something that you love again. So, would you please reconsider the job offer?”

Kara averted her eyes, clearly pondering what to do. “You really think it could help?” She asked.

Lena nodded, her heart lurching at the look in Kara’s eyes. “I do.” She said tenderly. “I wouldn’t suggest it if I didn’t. I promise.”

Kara sighed and nodded. “Okay.” She conceded. “I will talk to Cat first thing in the morning.”

Lena beamed at Kara. “Really?”

“Really.” Kara nodded.

Lena realized that her hand was still on Kara’s cheek so she removed it and offered Kara a tentative smile. She was ecstatic that Kara was going to take the job. She truly did think it was exactly what she needed to get out of her funk. “I’m really happy to hear that.” Her smile brightened. “And if you ever think you need it, I can recommend you an amazing grief therapist. She’s helped me a lot over the years.”

“I don’t think I’m ready for all that yet.” Kara said. “Let’s just see how I do with the job first, okay?”

Lena nodded. She was definitely okay with that. This was good. Kara was moving in the right direction… Plus, if Kara ended up loving the job, she might reconsider moving back to Argo… It was doubly beneficial. “Of course, that’s okay. As long as you’re pushing forward.”

Kara smiled and nodded. “You remember when I said I missed _my_ Lena?”

Lena frowned, worry settling in her stomach. She nodded. “Yes, of course I do. How could I forget?”

Kara gave her a warm smile. “I think I’ve been with _my_ Lena all day.”

Lena’s heart thudded in her chest. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Kara nodded.

Lena smiled. She wasn’t quite sure what to say all she knew was that she was jubilated. “I’m glad you feel that way.”

“Stay my Lena, okay? Don’t… Don’t hurt me again.” Kara frowned, her eyes looked so pained it broke Lena’s heart.

She took her hand and covered Kara’s hand that was on the counter and shook her head. “Never again will I do anything to hurt you, Kara. I will never betray you again. I know I sound like a broken record, but I mean it.”

“Your actions are starting to make me believe that, but it’s really hard, you know? But I think we’re making progress.” Kara smiled. “Thank you for today.”

Lena fought back tears of joy; her throat swelling with emotion. “Of course, Kara. Like I said, I’d love to do this again sometime.”

Kara nodded. “Yeah… Yeah, so would I.” She smiled, and Lena’s heart filled with so much hope it was about to explode. “And I think Dominic and Maya would like that too.”

Lena smiled. “I hope so. They’re great kids.”

“They really are.” Kara nodded. “Alex and Kelly have done ana amazing job raising them. I’m a lucky aunt.”

Lena smiled. “They’re lucky to have you too, you know?”

Kara laughed and shook her head. “Look at you, being my Lena and stuff.”

Lena smiled. “I’ve _always_ been your Lena, Kara. Always.”

They shared a poignant stare before Kara cleared her throat and stood up. “Today was awesome, but Alex and Kelly are due to be back within the half hour, and I don’t think you want to deal with that fallout.”

Lena frowned. She really _really_ didn’t want to leave Kara. But she nodded because Kara was right. After having such an amazing day with Kara and the kids, Lena didn’t want it to all come crumbling down around her when Alex inevitably chastised Kara for letting Lena spend time with her children. So, she stood up and grabbed her things. “When can I see you again?”

“Um… I’m not quite sure.” Kara admitted. “These next few weeks I’m going to be _really_ busy with the wedding, and now I apparently have a job on top of that.” She laughed.

Lena smiled sadly and nodded. “Well… Will you let me know whenever you’re available? I’d really like to see you again soon.”

Kara nodded. “Yeah, of course!”

“Thank you.” Lena said as she swallowed back her emotions. “I had fun today, Kara. I can’t wait to see you again.”

Kara smiled at her in response, and Lena took that as her cue to leave. She exited the room and closed the door behind her.

She let out a shaky breath… That had been one roller coaster of a day, but it was a good ride; and had an even better outcome. She just hoped that she could maintain the course that she was on without any other major setbacks.

But the one good thing that came out of the day was that Kara had once again said that she saw the old Lena in her again… And that meant _everything_ to her.

She smiled as she made her way to the elevator… Today had been amazing.

**XXX**

Lena hadn’t heard from Kara in five days… Five days of her incessantly checking her phone to see if she had received anything from Kara. Even waking up through the night to check. But to her dismay, she’d received nothing.

She had known that now that Kara had a job again she wouldn’t be able to see her as frequently as she’d like, but she hadn’t taken into consideration the babysitting, and wedding planning she was doing on top of her job.

She sighed as she once again checked her phone to find an empty screen. “Come on, Kara… I’m going crazy.”

Just as she said that, her phone screen lit up to show a text had come through.

She quickly opened said text and her heart lit up with joy as a smile crossed her face.

 **Kara:** _At Noonan’s. Want to join?_


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was brought to my attention that I never clarified the pronunciation of Kara's late wife's name! I intended for it to be pronounced "soon'. I apologize for any confusion! I hope you enjoy!:)

It was the day of the wedding, and Lena sighed as she sat at her office desk. She’d been on Instagram and saw the pictures Kara’s friends had posted. The wedding looked beautiful, and Kara was a _gorgeous_ matron of honor.

It looked as though everyone had had a wonderful time, and Brainy and Nia looked as in love as ever. It warmed her heart to know that her former friends were all living their best lives. Alex was thriving in her marriage and she was enjoying motherhood. Brainy and Nia had finally gotten hitched, and Kara, although still very much grieving the loss of her wife and child, was doing phenomenally well at her editing career (although she had been promised an article in every edition of the magazine, she didn’t feel quite ready to publish yet, and Cat had been kind enough to give her time to readjust to Earth before starting that part of her job). Kara was falling back into her old life, and it was wonderful to see.

It just hurt, _massively,_ to know that Lena wasn’t welcomed by them anymore. All of them but Kara had decided that she wasn’t worth a second chance after what she’d done. They didn’t really even want her near them, let alone at their wedding… and she understood that, _truly_ she did, but it didn’t stop the pain from overwhelming her at times... And this was one of those times.

She sighed and shook her head. It was days like this that she wished more than anything that she could turn back time and smack some sense into her younger self. But she couldn’t. So, instead, she buried herself in work to try and distract herself from the pain in her chest.

Just before she opened up her laptop to begin her work, her phone rang, and she sighed when she saw who it was.

“Hello.” She answered.

“Hey, girl… How are you? I know today was going to be one of those really hard days, so I just wanted to check in.”

Lena smiled, she was so, _so_ grateful for Sam. She was the only one out of all of her friends that forgave her and gave her a second chance. She wasn’t sure she would have survived everything that had happened if it weren’t for her. “Yes, it’s certainly painful, but I’m surviving. I can’t blame them for not wanting to share their big day with me. It hurts, but I knew this was coming three months ago.”

“Yes, you did, but that doesn’t mean you hadn’t held out hope that Kara would ask you to be her date…” Sam said knowingly.

Lena closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh; she’d been caught. _Yes_ , that is exactly what Lena had been hoping for. She knew it wasn’t going to happen; Kara was in no way ready to date, nor start that huge of a fight with her friends and family, but she had still been unable to stop herself from hoping, even if it was just a little bit. “Was it that obvious?” She asked.

“Very.” Sam chuckled. “I knew you still loved her, but damn, Lena. You’re torturing yourself. You know she’s not going to wake up one day and decide that she wants to be with you. You need to stop hurting yourself. You’re going to drive yourself back to drinking.”

“I’m not going to stop loving her, just because you think I’m stupid, Sam.” Lena said assertively. “She’s the only person that I could ever see myself with. She’s the only one that has ever made me feel the way I feel for her. I’m never going to stop hoping that one day there might be a chance at a life with her.”

Sam sighed on the other end of the line. “You’re setting yourself up for another massive heartbreak, Lena.”

“I don’t mind.” Lena admitted. “If anything, it’d be what I deserve after everything I’ve done. But I still have hope, and as long as I have hope I’m going to try. I will _always_ be her friend, but as long as I have even an infinitesimal speck of hope, I’m not going to give up on trying to be with her. I will always be there for her, and I will be what she wants me to be, but I will not give up hope until she tells me to my face that she will never see me that way.”

“Fine. Just be careful Lena, last time almost destroyed you.” Sam said exasperatedly.

“Last time wasn’t her fault. She didn’t break my heart; I broke my _own_ by betraying her so severely that it made her and everyone ewe cared about hate me. That’s on me. Stop blaming her.”

She heard Sam sigh once again. “Okay.” She acquiesced. “Just be careful.”

“I will be.” Lena agreed. “But this is Kara we’re talking about; she would never hurt someone for no reason.”

Sam agreed, and then they hung up… She knew Sam had a valid point; it was highly unlikely Kara would ever love her the way Lena wished her to, but she truly didn’t care. She would hold out hope for as long as she could.

**XXX**

“So how was the wedding?” Lena asked eight days later. They were sitting in Kara’s new office, having lunch together. It was the first time Lena had been able to see Kara in almost three weeks. “From the pictures I saw online it looked like you had a wonderful time.”

Kara smiled and nodded. “I’m glad they finally tied the knot. Nia had been wanting to for years. They’re great together.”

Lena nodded. “They have always been good together.” _And you and I could be good together, too if you just gave me a chance._ She thought melancholily.

Kara nodded as she took a bite of her sandwich, and Lena couldn’t help the goofy smile that spread across her lips at the sight of ketchup on the corner of Kara’s mouth.

“What?” Kara asked with a mouthful of burger.

Lena chuckled. “You have a little something.” She pointed to her own mouth, and Kara used her tongue to try to get it. “Did I get it?”

Lena laughed and shook her head. “No, not even a little.”

Kara frowned and took a napkin, wiping all over her face but only managing to smear it more. Lena laughed and shook her head before grabbing a napkin. “May I?” She asked.

Kara bit her lip and nodded. Lena smiled and took the napkin and gently wiped away the ketchup. Her breath hitched when she met Kara’s blue orbs staring at her with blatant curiosity. She gulped and let out a shaky breath. “There you go.” She croaked out.

Kara smiled at her. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Lena said before clearing her throat. She had to keep her shit together. She was being far too obvious, even to someone as oblivious as Kara. “So how are you liking the job? We haven’t had a chance to talk about it much.”

“Oh! It’s going alright. I think next edition I’m going to finally start publishing my articles.” Kara announced.

Lena smiled, she was thrilled to hear that Kara was starting to grow more confident. “Really? That’s amazing to hear! I’m really happy for you.”

“Thank you, Lena.” Kara smiled. “I wouldn’t have been able to get to this point if it wasn’t for you.”

“Yes, you would have. It might have taken you a bit longer, but I have no doubt that you could do anything you put your mind to.”

Kara smiled. “Thank you. That means a lot.”

Lena was stunned, but her heart flipped with joy. Her opinion mattered to Kara. “It does?” She asked.

“Yes.” Kara nodded. “I know we’re still working on the trust thing, but I do care about you, Lena. So yes, it means a lot to me that you think I can do anything.”

Lena swallowed back the lump of emotion in her throat and tried not to show just how affected she was by Kara’s statement. She beamed. “I care about you too, Kara. Very, _very_ much.”

Kara smiled. “That’s nice to hear, but your actions since we started talking again have proved that over and over again. I know you care.”

Lena’s heart pounded in her chest. “I’m glad to know that.” She breathed. “But… May I ask where we are on the trust side of things?”

Kara smiled at her. “We’re getting there.”

Lena nodded, a smile gracing her lips and her heart soaring. “I can live with that.”

**XXX**

Lena was getting ready to leave Kara’s office after their lunch, but she couldn’t help the need to know that she would be able to see Kara again sooner rather than later. “Could I see you again? _Soon_? As in… a day or two? I understand you’re busy, and I’m not asking for hours of your time, I would just like to see you more often if you wouldn’t mind.” Lena asked nervously.

“I’m watching the kids again tomorrow; I’m taking them to the fair for the very first time. Would you like to join us? They’ve been asking about you.”

Lena filled with joy. Dominic and Maya wanted to see her. That had to be the best news she’d gotten besides the fact that Kara’s trust for her was growing (slowly but surely). “Yes! I’d love to. Like I said, they’re incredible kids.”

Kara beamed at her and nodded. “Awesome! We’ll meet you at the front gate at 10, alright?”

Lena nodded enthusiastically. “Absolutely! I will be there.”

“See you tomorrow, Lena.” Kara smiled.

Lena’s heart imploded with joy and hope. “See you tomorrow, Kara.”

**XXX**

Lena waited at the front entrance gate to the fair for about ten minutes before she finally spotted Kara and the kids. Her heart erratically walloped in her chest at the sight of them heading her way. She was beyond excited. She loved Kara, and she enjoyed spending time with the kids, so today was going to be an incredible day.

“Hey!” Kara said when she finally reached Lena.

Lena smiled, her heart flipping, and her body electrified with longing. “Hey, Kara.” She looked down at the two children holding their aunt’s hand. “Hey kiddos!”

Dominic smiled at her. “Will you ride the Ferris wheel with me?”

Lena was shocked. She hadn’t expected to be asked to ride rides, but when she looked up at Kara, who was smiling down as if she was excited for Lena to ride the ferris wheel with her. She smiled, even though she hated heights and nodded. “Of course little man!”

“YES!” He said as he fist pumped the air.

Kara and Lena both laughed at the young boy’s antics.

“Aunt Kara! I have to go potty!” Maya said as she pulled on Kara’s shirt.

Kara looked down at her niece and nodded. “Alright let’s find a restroom.” She said before she looked back to Lena. “Would you mind watching Dom for a few minutes while I take this one to the restroom? We can meet by the wheel if you want.”

Lena nodded. “Of course. We will see you in a few minutes.” Lena said with a smile.

Kara gave her a half smile and thanked her before she began walking away. Lena looked down at the boy she was left in charge of; feeling beyond thrilled that Kara trusted her enough to leave Dominic alone with her. That was definitely a step in the right direction.

She grabbed the boy’s hand. “Let’s go get in line at the ferris wheel!” She said excitedly.

The boy smiled at her and nodded. “Yay!” He cheered, following Lena’s lead.

Lena laughed happily at his excitement as she led him through the fair grounds. “What else would you like to do today?”

“I want to eat cotton candy!” He said, practically vibrating with delight. “And win a big stuffed monkey! I like monkeys! Do you like monkeys? I think they’re cool. Don’t you?”

Lena grinned down at the little boy. “yes, I certainly do agree. Monkeys are very cool.”

Dominic smiled up at her. “You’re cool too! I like you. My mommy doesn’t like you at all, but I do. I think you’re nice.”

“Why thank you, Dominic. I like you too.” She said with a smile, her heart melting.

Dominic smiled. “You like my Aunt Kara, don’t you?”

Lena beamed at the young boy. “Of course I do! She’s my _very_ good friend.”

The boy shook his head. “No not like that. My mommy says that you like Aunt Kara the way Aunt Sun liked Aunt Kara.”

Lena froze. She hadn’t expected that. “I-,” She didn’t know what to say to that.

“Are you going to be my new Aunt?” He asked.

Lena looked at him with wide eyes as she stood in line at the ferris wheel. She had no idea what to say, but luckily for her, Kara and Maya came up and saved her. “Hey guys! Are you ready for the ride?” Kara asked cheerfully.

Lena smiled at Kara and nodded. “I know I certainly am!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you think the rest of their day at the fair will go?:)
> 
> Please let me know what you think, and also let me know if you enjoyed! Thank you for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

Although Lena was terrified of heights, she felt completely safe when she rode the ferris wheel with Kara and the kids. Namely because she knew that if the ferris wheel started to malfunction Supergirl (retired or not) Would come to save the day.

Now they were walking along the side of the fair where all of the games were located. The kids were eating their weight in cotton candy while telling Kara all the things that they wanted to do that day. Lena was just basking in their presence. She had never felt so at peace… Well, that wasn’t true. When she and Kara had been friends all those years ago, and it was just the two of them cuddling on the couch watching a movie, she’d felt like this too. But that had been so long ago by now that she was just happy to feel like this again.

“Oh, look at that unicorn.” Kara smiled as she pointed to a massive unicorn prize that the basketball game had hanging above it. “That’s absolutely adorable. I wish I was actually good at that one. That’s the one game my super strength doesn’t help me excel at. I suck at that one.” She laughed.

Lena looked at the stuffed unicorn and laughed. That _would_ be the prize that Kara would pick out of the entire fair. “That unicorn certainly does fit your aesthetic.” She agreed.

Kara laughed and rose a curious brow. “Oh? And what aesthetic do I have?”

Lena smiled nervously. “Innocent and otherworldly.”

The look that Lena received at that comment was something she hadn’t expected; it was a soft, and stunned expression. It made her heart melt.

“Oh…” She smiled. “You’re laying on the flattery pretty thick today, aren’t you?” She teased.

Lena shrugged. “I don’t mean to. I’m just telling you what I see.”

“Well, I’m honored that you see it that way, Lena.” Kara said with a smile.

Lena beamed, her heart alight with hope and love for the woman walking next to her. “I always have, Kara. Always.”

Kara stopped walking to the children’s dismay, but they were too busy eating their cotton candy to put up much fuss. “Even when I hated you for all those years?”

Lena nodded. “Even then.” She admitted. “Like I said, Kara… Always.”

Kara stared at Lena with a look in her eyes that Lena couldn’t read. Was it admiration? Was it blind rage? Was it shock? Lena couldn’t tell, and it worried her. She gulped down her anxiety, but then Kara’s mouth turned into a bright smile, but she said nothing as they began walking once more.

“Aunt Kara are we going to play any games?” Maya asked.

Kara looked down at her niece. “Of course we are, sweetie. How about we go to the ring toss? You like that one, don’t you?”

Maya jumped up and down giddily. “Ya!”

Dominic whined. “No! I want to play the squirt gun game!”

Kara frowned. “Really buddy? Are you sure you don’t want to play both?”

Dominic made an exaggerated shake of his head that inadvertently shook his whole body. “Noooo. I want to play the squirt gun game!”

“I want to play the ring toss!” Maya argued back.

Kara looked between them and frowned as the two started bickering. She looked conflicted about what to do. So, Lena decided she had an idea…

“Why don’t I take Dominic over to the squirt gun game, and you take Maya down to the ring toss, and when we’re done we can meet up at the plane ride?” She asked. “That way everyone is happy.”

Kara frowned. “Are you sure?”

Lena nodded. “I’m absolutely sure. Dominic is my little buddy, and we will be fine.” She looked down at the young boy and smiled. “Right Dominic?”

The boy beamed up at him. “YES YES YES!” He cheered excitedly.

Kara smiled down at him, then back up at her. “Alright. I’ll meet you guys at the plane ride as _soon_ as we’re done at the ring toss, okay?”

Lena nodded. “That sounds like a plan. We’ll see you shortly.”

Kara gave Dominic a tight hug and then handed Lena a twenty-dollar bill. “That’s for the game, and if he wants to play more than once.”

Lena frowned. She was a billionaire, she didn’t want to take money from Kara. Especially not for this. “That’s not necessary. I’ve got plenty of money in my pockets to cover the cost. I insist you take your money back.”

Kara frowned. “Lena, he’s my nephew, I can’t ask you to pay for his games.”

“You didn’t ask.” Lena countered with a shrug. “I volunteered. As a matter of fact…” She pulled out her wallet and handed Kara a handful of fifties. “I insist you let me treat them both to a fun day. You’ve paid a lot today; I can help pitch in.”

Kara stared at the bills being offered to her and shook her head. “No, Lena. I can’t. It wouldn’t be rig-,”

“I insist that you take it. In fact, I will take it as an insult if you don’t.” Lena said as she raised a challenging brow.

Kara frowned and sighed before reluctantly taking the bill.

Lena smiled. “I’ll see you two in a bit, alright?”

“Yep. See you at the planes.” Kara said before taking Maya’s hand and walking down towards the other end of the strip.

Lena smiled as she watched Kara and Maya talk animatedly to each other. She really _really_ liked how today felt. It was magical. She never wanted it to end.

“Are you going to play any games?” Dominic asked as they turned around in the direction that they came from to go back to the squirt gun game.

Lena smirked. “Yes, Dominic. I think I just might.” And she knew _exactly_ what game she was going to play.

**XXX**

Dominic had played three rounds of his game, winning himself a medium-sized stuffed monkey; just like he had wanted at the start of the day. Lena smiled as she watched him snuggle it close to him. “What are you going to name him?” She asked.

“Marvin!” the boy answered.

Lena laughed. “Well Marvin is a very lucky monkey!”

The boy beamed up at her. “What game are you going to play?”

Lena walked a few more feet and stopped in front of the game she intended to win. “I’m going to play the basketball game.” She said, because unlike Kara, Lena was exceptionally good at fair basketball… Because it was all about math, and angles. “You stand right next to me, okay? I don’t want you to get lost.”

The boy nodded. “Okay.” He replied as he squeezed his monkey happily once more.

“Hello, I’d like to play.” She told the man running the game. She handed him thirty dollars (enough for five rounds.)

He smiled and took the money before handing her the first three balls. She eyed the hoop, weighed the ball in her hand, studied the shape and height of the hoop; and used all of that information to calculate the perfect angle and force she needed to make the shot.

Once she finished her calculations, she began throwing the balls… sinking each and every one of them into the net. She smirked at the man’s stunned expression. “What size prize does that win me?” She asked.

He pointed up to the ceiling where all of the large prizes were kept… Where the unicorn Kara had said she wanted, was kept. She smiled brightly. Proud of herself for getting it on her first try. “Fantastic! I’ll take the unicorn.”

The man nodded and used a stick with a hook at the end of it to bring the unicorn down. Once he retrieved it he handed it over to Lena. “Congrats lucky lady!”

Lena grinned. “I’m not lucky, I’m _smart_.”

Once she said that she turned to Dominic and smiled. “Are you ready to meet your sister and Aunt Kara?”

He nodded and reached for her hand. “Are you going to give that to my Aunt Kara?”

“As a matter of fact, I am, Dominic.” Lena said with a grand smile.

“That will make her smile.” He told her happily.

Lena’s heart swelled. “I sure hope so, buddy. I sure hope so.”

**XXX**

Once they reached the plane ride, Lena searched through the crowd of people to find Kara. Once she spotted her she smiled and waved, hiding the unicorn as much as she could behind her back. She and Dominic walked over to her and smiled. “Hey! How was the ring toss?” She asked as she looked at Maya, who was holding onto a stuffed duck.

“I won a ducky!” Maya said as she held up her pink duck.

Lena smiled. “That’s _awesome!_ Give me a high five!” She said as she held out her hand to the girl.

Maya took her hand and smacked Lena’s excitedly before giggling. “I named her Libby!”

“That is a wonderful name!” Lena said with a smile.

Maya beamed at her before she and Dominic both handed over their plushies and got in line for the ride.

Kara smiled after them as she leaned against the railing that encircled the small ride. “You really _are_ good with them, Lena. Incredible with them, really. Thank you for today.” She turned her head and her smile turned tender as her eyes went soft. “I don’t think that today could go much better. You really made it a lot easier on me. And made it more enjoyable too.”

Lena’s heart flew into the sky with pure joy. A smile spread from ear to ear on her face. “I’m glad I could help.” She replied. “I love the kids, they’re amazing.”

“Yeah, they’re incredible.” Kara said as she watched Dominic and Maya climb into a seat together.

Lena stared up at Kara and smiled. “They are… But I think their Aunt is pretty incredible herself.”

Kara turned her head to meet eyes with Lena. “Flattery again, Lena?” She asked with a smile.

Lena shook her head. “ _Truth_ again, Kara.” She gave her a half smile. She then pulled out the unicorn from behind her. “I got this for you.”

Kara’s smile was blinding. “ _Lenaaaaaa_.” She smiled and shook her head. “You shouldn’t have, really.”

Lena shook her head. “I definitely should have. And I did, so take it and hush.” She teased.

Kara gave her a grin and shook her head once more before she and Lena traded plushies. She squeezed the unicorn. “I love it, thank you.”

Lena’s heart melted… She’d made Kara smile.

“Your smile is thanks enough.” Lena said honestly; because truthfully, Kara’s smile was the thing she craved most. It was heart melting, and breathtaking. It filled her with a sense of joy that no other thing in existence could ever dream of accomplishing.

Kara clicked her tongue. “Once again with the flattery. You’re being incredibly smooth today, Miss Luthor.” She joked.

Lena chuckled. “I really don’t mean to be, and I apologize if I come off as cheesy… I truly am just stating facts.”

“Well, I’m flattered that you think they’re facts.” Kara said with another blinding smile. She squeezed the giant purple unicorn in her arms once more. “And thank you again for this. I really wouldn’t have been able to win it on my own… at least not without spending a couple hundred bucks.” She jested.

Lena guffawed at that; a rather obscene sound, if she were honest, but she couldn’t help it. Kara was adorable and hilarious. “I doubt you’d spend hundreds of dollars. You aren’t _that_ bad at basketball. I’ve seen you play before; quite frankly you’re incredibly good. You beat Clark’s ass, at least.”

Kara shrugged. “Regular basketball is a breeze for me. It’s the fair basketball games that give me issues.”

Lena hummed. “Perhaps it’s because their hoops aren’t round, they’re oval to make it a bit harder for people to win.”

Kara’s jaw dropped. “Are you serious?!”

Lena laughed. “You really didn’t know that?”

“NO! Those crooks! I should go over there right now an-,”

“Calm down, Darling, it’s just a game and you already have your prize.” Lena laughed.

Kara pouted for a moment; and _Jesus Christ_ Lena wanted to kiss her. She was adorable. So, so, _so_ incredibly adorable. “You’re right, you’re right. But it’s still a scam!”

Lena once again laughed, “Yes, but so are most of the fair games people play.”

“True.” Kara laughed. “That’s just never been an issue for me because I’m not human. But now I’ll be better prepared for next time!”

Lena grinned. “Will I be able to watch?” She froze… That was implying that things between them were good… Implying that Kara would keep wanting to spend time with her like this… She was being too presumptuous, and she had to backpedal or else Kara was going to push away. She was pushing for too much, too hard, and too fast. “I mean, um…”

Kara just laughed. “We’ll see.”

Lena’s heart filled with just a little bit more hope at that. She smiled. “I can work with that.”

**XXX**

The rest of the day was filled with companionable banter, kiddie rides, stuffed animals, ice cream, junk food, and laughter beyond measure. It was heaven for Lena. Seeing Kara like this again, happy, smiling, and completely distracted from her woes. She was at peace, and seeing Kara look at her with a smile on her face again after all these years, it made her emotional… Emotional in the best possible way.

But sadly, the fair was closing down, and the kids were tuckered out, which meant that Kara had to take them home… Meaning that the day was done, and Kara was leaving her for the night. Lena’s heart cracked at the realization. For the first time in over a decade she’d had a day filled with nothing but pure happiness, and she wasn’t quite ready to let that go.

She watched as Kara carried a unicorn, a monkey, and a sleeping Dominic, while Lena herself, carried a sleeping Maya and her pink duck. They were just about to reach the exit; when something happened.

Something completely unexpected.

Something that Lena wished were true.

A young woman, around twenty-five approached them with a wide smile on her face. “I just wanted to say that your family is **beautiful** and that you two are an absolutely _adorable_ couple. Your kids are just beautiful.”

Lena’s heart started thumping uncontrollably in her chest as her eyes widened when they darted to study Kara’s face. She had no idea how to respond; she didn’t want to upset Kara. She didn’t want to say the wrong thing so she just let Kara take the lead, and she would follow blindly.

Kara gave a sweet laugh. “Thank you so much, that’s incredibly sweet, but these two here are actually my niece and nephew!”

The younger woman’s eyes widened. “Oh! I’m so sorry. I’ve just seen you all around a lot today and you all looked so happy, so I just assumed-,”

Kara waved a dismissive hand. “No need to apologize. I appreciate the compliment.” She smiled.

The woman smiled and nodded before she turned around and left.

Lena stared at Kara curiously. She was worried that the woman saying that might bring back some of Kara’s pain, but her face was set; showing no sign of how she was feeling. “Kara? You okay?”

“I’m fine.” She said shortly. “Let’s just get the kiddo’s in their booster seats so we can get out of here, yeah?”

Lena’s entire soul filled with apprehension. Had today all just been ruined by that one remark? “Kara?” She asked again, but to no avail. Kara seemed to be in her own world.

They continued walking through the parking lot for a few more minutes before Lena tried again. “She didn’t know, Kara. It was almost-,”

“I feel like I’m betraying her.”

Lena furrowed her brow. “ _What_?”

“Sun. I’m betraying Sun.” Kara clarified. “I didn’t realize it, but I am. I hadn’t meant for this to be anything but a fun day out with the kids but… Apparently it was more than I meant it to be and I didn’t even realize it..”

Lena was completely confused. “What on Earth are you talking about?”

“Today was fun. We had fun. I enjoyed our time together. But I think it was more intimate than I realized. More intimate than I wanted it to be. If people thought that we were a couple, then I was doing something wrong.”

Lena’s heart sank. “Kara… you aren’t doing anything wrong. Even if we _were_ dating you wouldn’t be cheating. She’s dead, Kara.”

Kara stopped and abruptly turned around and sent Lena a death glare. “You don’t think I know that!?” She asked angrily. “You don’t think that I’m _brutally_ aware of my wife’s death?”

Lena’s eyes went wide, and her heart sank deeper. “N-no! That’s not what I meant at all! I swear! I’m just saying… If you _were_ to go on a date with someone, you wouldn’t be cheating.”

“Yes, I would be!” Kara seethed. “After my father passed, my mother never remarried. After Jeremiah passed, Eliza never dated or remarried. What makes this any different? Besides… This wasn’t even meant to be a date. This was just supposed to be a fun day out with the kids.”

Lena’s heart ached at the reminder that they weren’t dating. “Kara! Who on Earth brings their niece and nephew with them on a date?” She asked.

Kara paused and frowned, clearly thinking. Lena took that as a good sign and continued. “It wasn’t a date. You and I both know this wasn’t a date. It was just a fun time, like you said. It was a bonding experience between two people that are trying to rebuild the trust that I broke, not a romantic getaway. We both knew that. Who cares what a stranger thought?”

Kara deflated, tears brimming her eyes. “I’m sorry… I just… The last time someone said something like that to me, it was… I was with Sun, and…” She stopped as a sob ripped from her throat. “I’m sorry, Lena. I didn’t mean to take my pain out on you. I-,” She shook her head, tears falling from her eyes; and Lena’s heart _shattered._

“Hey, Hey… Shhh.” She cooed. “It’s okay, Kara. It’s okay. Let’s get the kids into their booster seats and we can talk, okay?”

Kara nodded, tears still cascading down her face, but luckily, they were only a few cars away from Kara’s rental. They both hurriedly buckled the kids in and rolled down the windows before they walked around the car and leaned the smalls of their backs against the front bumper.

“Kara, I understand, and I’m not mad. You’re still grieving. But are you truly going to deny yourself love and happiness for the rest of your life? Do you genuinely think that’s what Sun would want for you?”

Kara shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“ _Kara_ …”

Kara broke down again and she folded in on herself. “I’m sorry. I-I can’t stop thinking about her. Seeing you today, with my niece and nephew… They love you. You adore them. It was the same with Sun. They loved her, she loved them, and they laughed and played, and joked, and all day I kept thinking about that. About her. And I was okay with that, I truly was. It was bringing me comfort and peace watching you with them, and then… Then that woman said what she said and I thought… ‘Oh my god. I’m betraying her. I’m trying to replace her.’.”

Lena shook her head. “I’m not here to replace anyone, Kara, and you’re not trying to replace her with anyone. I’m here to be your friend. To help you heal. To be your shoulder to cry on. To earn back your trust. That’s what I’m here for. You were doing nothing wrong. And I passionately believe, that when you do find someone to love again, Sun would approve. From what little you’ve told me about her, I can almost guarantee you that she would want you to be happy.”

“How can you be so sure?” Kara asked.

“Because that’s what I would want for you, if I were Sun.” Lena admitted. She hoped to Rao that the person Kara found love with again would be her, but she wasn’t going to say that.

Kara looked at her and smiled tearfully. “Thank you, Lena.”

Lena’s heart warmed. She’d helped Kara feel better. “You’re welcome, Darling. You’re very welcome.”

The silence stretched between them for a few moments before Lena spoke again. “We made a really good team when dealing with the kids today, didn’t we?” She asked with a small laugh.

Kara chuckled tearfully and nodded. “Yeah, yeah we definitely did.” She let out a shaky breath. “Would you like to come back with us? I could put them down in the bedroom and we could watch movies, or whatever. Alex and Kelly won’t be back until super late.”

Lena’s heart soared. “Are you sure? I don’t want to impose.”

“I’m sure.” Kara said with a friendly smile. She gestured to the passenger seat as she got the keys out. “Hop in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you think their movie night is going to go?
> 
> Do you think that Kara will ever be able to move on from Sun?
> 
> Let me know what you think, or if you enjoyed! 
> 
> Thank you all for reading.


	13. Chapter 13

Lena nervously sat on the couch in Kara’s hotel suite. They hadn’t had a movie night together in over a decade, and although she was incredibly excited, she was also terrified. She had no idea what to say, or how to act. She wasn’t sure if she should sit close to Kara, or keep a few cushions between them.

One thing she knew for sure, however, was that she needed this to go right. They couldn’t afford another setback; she was doubtful Kara would keep trying with her if there was another one. Alex had been right, unfortunately; Kara was much too fragile to deal with anymore complications. So, Lena desperately wanted nothing more than for this to go as smoothly and easily as possible.

A few minutes went by before Kara finally walked out of the bedroom and shut the door. She gave Lena a tentative smile and sat down next to her on the couch, keeping two cushions between them.

Kara offered her a nervous look; it was obvious that she didn’t know how to act either, “It’s been a while, huh?” She asked with a solemn chuckle. “I’m sorry, I’m not trying to make this awkward I just… I just don’t know how to do this with you anymore.” She admitted, her tone melancholy. “It used to be so easy between us, and now… Now it just feels so much different.”

And _oh_ that hurt like hell to hear. But she expected it, and she wasn’t deterred. It was going to take time for everything to be okay between them again.

“I understand, Kara. A lot has happened. I’ve done a _lot_ of damage to our bond. It’s going to be a while before everything is going to be glued back together again properly. For things to be okay again.”

Kara nodded, “I want it to be though, okay?” She asked. “I need you to know that I’m trying. I’m _really_ trying.”

Lena nodded. “I know that, Kara. I do. You have nothing to apologize for, or worry about. I’m here, and I’m going to work at this every day until we’re okay, and once we’re okay? We’re going to be friends again and have fun together until the day I die. And if it takes the rest of my life to fix this? Then that’s how I’m going to spend the rest of my life… Making things right between us.”

Kara gave her the softest look yet, and reached a hand out to Lena on the cushion between them. Lena’s throat swelled with emotion and took Kara’s hand, tentatively interlocking their fingers as best she could.

“It won’t take the rest of our lives, Lena. I promise it won’t. I just need time. Months, maybe a year or two. But no longer than that. We’re getting there. Okay?”

Lena shakily let out a breath she had not even realized she was holding. She couldn’t fight the tears that threatened to fall, and they came cascading down her cheeks. She had never been so happy to hear something, in her entire life. “We’re getting there? This quickly??”

Kara nodded, “All day today, all I saw was _my_ Lena. The Lena that I adored. The Lena that made me laugh, and comforted me when I was missing my home world. The Lena that I teamed up with at every game night. The Lena that I was best friends with. So yes, Lena. ‘This quickly’ because you’ve given me no reason so far to see you as the woman that got drunk and caused my sister to break her back and become paralyzed. You’ve only shown me the woman that used to be my best friend; and that’s the woman I want back into my life. So yes, like I said, we’re getting there.”

Lena used her free hand to wipe away her tears. “You have absolutely no idea how good it feels to hear you say that.” She cried. “I’ve dreamed of this day for years… This moment was the one thing I craved more than anything; and I imagined that it would feel incredible; but now that I’m in it, it feels so much greater than I could have ever imagined. So, thank you. Thank you _so_ _much_ for giving me this chance.”

Kara squeezed her hand. “No need to thank me. So far you’ve proven to me that it was the right choice.”

“I’m glad” Lena said, her heart swelling.

Kara smiled and took her hand away as she leaned back and grabbed the remote. “Now, let’s find something to watch!”

Lena smiled and nodded as she looked at the tv and watched Kara surf through Netflix. “How about Lost?”

Lena shrugged. “Whatever you want to watch, I’m down for. I just want to watch it with you.”

Kara looked over to her and smiled. “You really are sweet, Lena.”

“I’m once again, just telling you the truth.” Lena replied.

Kara smiled at her and then clicked play; and soon enough they were watching Lost and talking; guessing who was going to be the next couple to get together. It was just like old times, and Lena couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face.

**XXX**

After about three episodes, Lena looked over to find that Kara was half asleep. She laughed and shook her head. “I should get going, Kara. You’re about to pass out.”

Kara sat up right, her eyes opening all the way. “No, no I’m not. I’m just… Very relaxed.”

Lena’s heart melted and she felt a sudden flare of joy inside her chest. Kara felt relaxed around her. She couldn’t be happier if she tried. (well… unless Kara told her she wanted to be with her…) “Am I contributing to your relaxation, or am I just an innocent bystander?” She teased.

“Definitely making it better.” Kara said with a grin.

“I’m glad I can be of service. All I want to do is make you happy and take your stress away.”

“You’re doing a very good job of both today.” Kara beamed. “Are you hungry?”

“I could certainly eat.” Lena nodded.

And so, they ordered potstickers and pad Thai and made a night of it. They ate, and talked, and laughed (quietly so that the children wouldn’t wake up) and then went back to watching Netflix.

Lena didn’t know how long she had been there, and she truly didn’t care. She’d happily spend eternity in this moment. It felt too good to be true. Like a dream that she would soon wake up from, leaving her devastated all over again.

“I haven’t been this happy in years.” Lena admitted.

Kara looked over to her. “How’s that? You’ve travelled the world, Lena! You’ve saved millions, if not _billions_ of lives by curing some of the most fatal diseases out there. You can’t tell me you weren’t enjoying that time.”

Lena shook her head. “I was curing people, and giving water to underprivileged people, and housing the homeless, and I was honored to do that… But I had no one, Kara. The most important person in my life hated me. And I’m not trying to guilt you, because you had every right to hate me; hell, if I were you, I would _still_ hate me. But what I’m trying to say is, nothing really matters if you don’t have the people you love to share it all with. And you are the person I love most in this world, Kara. Living without you is agonizing.” Lena knew she couldn’t leave it at that. She knew she couldn’t confess her undying love to her, and although it hurt, she had to cover it up by saying: “You were… _are_ my best friend.”

Kara stared at her once more; her gaze showing a thousand emotions warring with one another in her mind. “I wish a lot of things that happened hadn’t had to happen. I really wish you would have told me how you felt, Lena. I wouldn’t have been mad. Things could be so much different right now if you had only opened up to me. Alex would have never been hurt and we would have stayed friends. Life would be so much different.”

Lena swallowed down the bile in her throat and nodded. “I know, Kara. Believe me, I know.”

“But, I did get five years of perfect love with Sun out of everything, and Alex still got to be happy in the end, right?” Kara smiled sadly.

“Are… Are you saying that you forgive me?” Lena asked, her eyes wide, her body tingling with anxious hope.

“I’m saying that I’m close to it.” Kara replied with a smile.

Lena beamed, her body radiating joy. “You have no idea how happy that makes me.”

Kara gave her an affectionate smile and opened her mouth to speak; but then her face morphed into one of pure terror. “Fuck! Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! What time is it? They’re early! Oh Rao, Lena I’m so screwed.”

Lena furrowed her brow, her soul filling with worry. But before she could ask what Kara was talking about, there was a knock at the door.

Dread knotted up her stomach as Kara slowly, shakily walked towards the door. She saw Kara take a deep breath before turning around to face her. “Whatever happens, stay behind me, okay? This isn’t going to go down well at all.”

Lena gulped but nodded.

Kara opened the door to a smiling Alex and Kelly. “Hey, Kar’! How did the fair go?”

“It went well! We had a really nice time. The kids won lots of prizes!” Kara said, and her voice was shaky, so shaky that it ached Lena’s heart. She hated seeing Kara like this.

Alex laughed. “I’m sure they did. And they probably ate up all the cotton candy there too.”

“Especially Dommy.” Kelly said through her laughter.

Kara gave a timid laugh and nodded. “Yeah. They definitely ate a lot of Cotton Candy!”

Kelly and Alex walked through the door. “I knew i- wwwwwhat the fuck!?” Alex exclaimed as soon as her eyes laid on Lena. “What the fuck is she doing here, Kara?!”

“ _Alex_ please just let me explain. I-,”

“What the fuck is she doing here, Kara? Did the kids see her!?”

Kara audibly gulped and nodded jerkily. “Yes, bu-,”

“Oh my fucking god… You took her to the fair with you, didn’t you?” Alex fumed.

“Y-yes, and she was so good with them, Alex! She was _so good_ with them. She helped me so much, and-,”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Alex laughed angrily. “You’re kidding right? I’m supposed to just stand here and be okay with the fact that the woman who almost fucking KILLED ME is around MY children? Just because she ‘was good with them’? You’re fucking delusional, Kara. I swear to every deity out there, that if you bring her around me or my kids one more time, you’ll never see Dominic or Maya again. Do you understand me?”

Kara let out a whimper. “Alex…”

Alex shook her head. “No. Don’t fucking try it, Kara. I love you, but I meant it when I said that she and I will never be friends again. When I said that _you_ could choose what _you_ did about her, I made it _very_ clear that it was not how _I_ would handle her. She is going to stay out of my life. And my kids’ lives. She’s never going to hurt someone I love… Unless it’s you, apparently, because from the looks of the living room you guys are all buddy-buddy again.”

Kara was crying now. “Alex how am I supposed to spend time with her if-,”

“I don’t know. And I literally do not give a _fuck_. If you want to spend time with her, fine. But you’re not going to do it while you have my kids, or you will _never_ have my kids.”

Kara looked to Kelly pleadingly, but Kelly just shook her head. “I’m sorry Kara, but I am always going to be on Alex’s side with this one, Kara. This is her trauma, and those are _our_ kids. You don’t get to make decisions like this for them. That’s our job. She made it perfectly clear where she stood.”

“I know. I know that, and I respect her decision. She has every right to not want Lena around her, but the kids _love_ her.”

“Yes, and they love soda, but it’s not good for them. Just like Lena isn’t.” Alex countered. “They’re _children_ Kara! They don’t know any better!”

Just then, the bedroom door opened, and Dominic walked out. He ran to his mothers excitedly. “Mommy! Momma!” He cheered as he leapt into Kelly’s arms, and then reached for Alex. “Group hug!”

Kelly and Alex chuckled and squeezed their boy tight. “Oooo! We missed you, buddy!” Alex said as she squeezed her son tighter.

“I missed you too!” He spoke. Then he looked to Kara and frowned. “Why is Aunt Kara crying?” He asked.

“Because I told her I don’t want her to bring Lena around you anymore, sweetie. So, she’s just a little upset right now.”

Dominic frowned. “Why can’t Lena see us? She’s nice!”

“No, honey.” Alex shook her head. “She’s not nice. She hurt me, and she lies, Dominic. She’s not a good person.”

Lena’s heart shattered and she couldn’t stop the sob that ripped from her throat.

Dominic looked over at Lena in confusion before she looked back at Alex. “She hurt you?”

Alex nodded. “Very badly.”

He looked over to Lena and glared at her. “You hurt my Mommy?”

Lena could do nothing but nod.

His expression turned cold. “You’re a mean person. I don’t like you anymore!”

And that was it, Lena could no longer handle this. She covered her mouth to muffle the sob that escaped her mouth and ran to the bathroom and slammed the door.

She didn’t know how long she was in there, but she heard Kara and Alex’s muffled voices through the door, and it sounded like Kara was fighting a losing battle. Soon she heard a door slam and Lena figured that meant that Alex, Kelly, and the kids had left… But she was in no condition to leave the room. She was too heartbroken to even try.

A few minutes later, the bathroom door opened, and Kara walked in. She looked around until she saw Lena, and her face fell. “ _Lena_.” She cried before she fell to the floor beside her. “Lena, they’re gone, it’s okay now.”

Lena shook her head. “She’s never going to forgive me, Kara.” She sobbed.

“She might not, but that doesn’t matter. I’m here, and I want you in my life.” Kara said earnestly.

“If you keep spending time with me, that means you’ll get a lot less time with the kids.” Lena said. “I can’t keep them from you. I know how much you need them.”

“I have an hour lunch break every day, and Saturdays the kids will always be with their Moms.” Kara informed. “That can be our time. My lunches, and Saturdays.”

Lena looked up to her. “You mean… You want to seem me almost every day?”

Kara smiled. “You said you didn’t want hours, you just wanted to see me more often, right?”

“Yes! Yes, of course! As long as you’re sure.” Lena said happily.

“I am.” Kara concurred. “I promise.”

“But what if Alex gets fed up with this and says it’s me or the kids?” Lena frowned; she knew that was one battle she couldn’t win.

“She wouldn’t do that.” Kara frowned.

“I’m not so sure about that, Kara. She hates me. If I died, she’d throw a celebrating party the day of my funeral and say she hoped it hurt. Then spit on my grave.”

“Lena…”

“The kids hate me now too, Kara. And I can’t blame them because what Alex told them isn’t even a lie. I _am_ a liar, and I _did_ hurt her very badly. Everything she said was true.”

“And everything I said about you is true too, Lena. You’re not that person anymore.” Kara said. “Come on, let’s go back into the living room and enjoy some tv and food. We don’t have to let Alex ruin our night.”

Lena frowned. “Are you sure? I can go home if you need time.”

“I’m sure.” Kara said while she stood up. She offered Lena her hand. “Now come on, Lena. Let’s have fun.”

Lena smiled as her spirits brightened; she took Kara’s proffered hand and let her help her stand. “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Lena will ever see the children again?
> 
> Do you think Kara can really hold out and give Lena the time that she promised?
> 
> Did you enjoy?
> 
> Let me know what you think! And, as always, thank you for you reading!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was not betaed so please bear with me i'm doing my best lol.

Three days later, Lena was riding the elevator to the 42nd story of CatCo. She was nervous, this was going to be her and Kara’s first lunch together after the huge explosion with Alex. They’d been texting every day since then, and it seemed like Kara didn’t have any remorse for choosing to still spend time with Lena, but Lena was worried that, that would soon change. 

She let out a shaky breath as the elevator doors separated in front of her to display the bullpen with dozens of reporters buzzing around. She smiled at the familiarity of it all and was glad Kara had this in her life again. She knew if just seeing this familiar sight brought Lena a sense of comforting nostalgia it would definitely bring some happiness to Kara. 

She stepped through the elevator doors and walked towards the hallway where she knew Kara’s new office was and was stopped by Cat Grant herself. 

“Lena Luthor! What a surprise. I wasn’t expecting to see you here. What can I do for you?” Cat asked with a polite smile and a raised curious brow. 

“Oh! I’m actually not here to see you today, Ms. Grant. I’m here to have lunch with Kara.” Lena informed. 

Cat furrowed her brow. “Oh. I see. “ She pursed her lips “Well, that might be a bit hard at the moment because she left about an hour ago.” 

Lena’s heart sank and a frown adorned her face. “Oh? Did she say when she would be back?” 

“No. Just that her sister needed her to watch her niece and nephew for a while for some reason or another. I’m not sure I was only half paying attention.” Cat shrugged dismissively. “You’re more than welcome to wait in her office if you’d like.” 

Lena swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded as disappointment swept through her like an ocean at high tide. She sighed and made her way down the hallway and to Kara’s office. She sat down in a chair that was in front of Kara’s desk and began her wait… 

After about twenty minutes she pulled out her phone and texted Kara out of worry that something bad had happened. 

**Lena:** _Is everything alright?_

She sent the message and ten minutes later received a response. 

**Kara:** _Oh! I’m so sorry, Lena. I lost track of time. I didn’t think I’d be gone this long. Alex and Kelly are almost back, I will be there as soon as I can, alright_ _?_

Lena relaxed a bit when she had confirmation that everything was okay… Kara had just lost track of time. And although she was relieved about that, she was now worried about their future lunches… Were they all going to be like this? Was this going to be a common reoccurrence? 

God she hoped it wouldn’t be… because that would just make it extra hard on Kara, which would mean that Kara would have even _more_ of a reason to want to stop trying to mend bridges with Lena; and she already had plenty of reasons. 

She sighed and shook her head. She had to figure something out. This entire situation just _wasn’t fair_ to Kara. 

Lena knew why she was being punished and she accepted all that was being thrown her way. She deserved every single bit of it; but poor, kind and gentle Kara, who was just trying to forgive and move passed all the evil between them, was caught in the crossfire and that just wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair to Kara, it wasn’t fair to the kids, and truth be told, it wasn’t even fair to Alex. Because Lena _knew_ that Alex loved Kara just as much as she loved those kids. Kara was her baby sister. She would always love and protect her; so she knew that hurting Kara was something that ate at Alex. So, no, it wasn’t fair to Alex. Because this was making her hurt more too. 

So what was Lena to do? She couldn’t take herself away from Kara again. Kara was too deep in her grief to handle being hurt or let down again. She couldn’t confront Alex, that would be suicidal at best. So, what was there for her to do? She needed help. She needed help and she needed it soon because things weren’t going well, at least… Not from Lena’s perspective. Sure, Kara wanted to spend time with her, but it was at a great personal cost to Kara… Alex’s wrath. Alex’s anger. Alex’s resentment. Losing time with Dominic and Maya. It was all hurting Kara, and it was very obvious. 

Lena sighed and shook her head. She was only causing Kara more pain. She should have never went chasing after Kara that day at Noonan’s. She should have thanked the universe for letting her see the love of her life one last time, and then let Kara go on living her life without the added pain of having Lena force her way back into it. It had been totally unfair… Unfair to everyone involved. 

Just as she thought that, the office door swung open abruptly to reveal a heavily breathing Kara. “I’m sorry. I got here as fast as I could. Please don’t hate me.” 

Lena frowned. _Hate her?!_ “Haven’t you learned by now that I could never hate you, Kara? There is nothing you could do that would make me hate you.” 

Kara smiled sadly. “I’m sorry I kept you waiting, Lena. But I promise I will still spend at least an hour with you. I won’t break that promise.” 

“Don’t worry about it. I understand. Family comes first.” Lena said softly. 

Kara bit her lip and averted her eyes for a moment. She let out a deep breath and closed her eyes as she spoke. “Will you please stand up?” 

Lena furrowed her brow confusion and worry setting in her heart. “What?” 

The blonde opened her eyes and smiled softly at her, a smile that could bring anyone to their knees… _Especially_ Lena Luthor. “You have been so kind to me, Lena. So thoughtful, so supportive, so _understanding_ . I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that you’re _my_ Lena again. So, please… Stand up.” 

Lena’s entire body was filled with an anticipating tingle. Her heart was thudding in her chest as hope filled her body. She gulped down her anxiety and stood up from here seat. “N-now what?” She squeaked _out_. She was lost. What the hell was going on? 

Kara gestured for Lena to come closer, and so Lena did without question. Lena let out a shaky breath. “Kara?” 

A smile spreads across Kara’s face and she did something that Lena had been dying for her to do for fourteen years. Something she dreamed about every single night for over a decade. Something she never thought would ever happen again. Something she wished for on every shooting star she saw… Kara pulled her in and hugged her. 

She _hugged_ her and all Lena could do was melt into it. Their first hug in almost 15 years. It was amazing and familiar and everything she could ever need in life. She **_loved_ ** this woman! This strong, firm, amazing woman that had suffered so much and for absolutely no reason. This forgiving woman, that had done nothing but help others no matter what that meant for herself. 

“Oh, _Rao_ , Lena. I’ve missed you.” Kara whispered. “I was _so_ **angry** , for so long, but I just don’t have the energy for that anymore. Especially not now. Not after all these months of working on trust. You’ve shown me time and again that you can be trusted now. You’ve saved millions of lives, you’ve helped me with my grief, you’ve proven time and time again that you want nothing more than to be and do good. So I’m done being mad, Lena. I’m done distrusting you. I’m done doubting. You are the Lena Luthor that I knew and loved before. You’re the Lena Luthor that was my best friend. The Lena that I trusted with my life each and every day.” 

Lena cried silently into the nook of Kara’s neck. Hearing Kara say _every_ _single_ damn thing she’d been hoping to hear for over a decade felt like she’d finally succeeded at life. Euphoria did even begin to describe what passed through her. It was something higher than the highest level of happiness she’d ever felt. Euphoria, joy, ecstasy, jubilation, delight, pleasure; it was all true, but none of it described just how much happiness she was feeling in that moment. 

“You have absolutely no idea how happy I am to hear you claim me again.” She croaked out through a throat swollen by emotion. 

Kara squeezed her waist tighter. “I’m glad I could bring a little bit of happiness your way.” 

“It’s more than I’ll ever deserve.” Lena replied. “But I’m greedy, so I’ll take all that you offer me. And you offer me a _lot_ ” 

“You’re not greedy, Lena. That’s never been an issue with you. You’ve been too self-sacrificial, that’s what brought all of this on. But that’s over now. We’re okay.” Kara asserted. 

Lena swallowed down the lump of emotion stuck in her throat before she pulled away just enough to look into Kara’s eyes. “Y-… Are you saying that… That you forgive me?” She asked as hope rose through her like an exploding volcano. 

Kara smiled. “Yes, Lena. That’s what I’ve been trying to say since I arrived.” 

“Why?” Lena asked in confusion. “Why would you forgive me? I-I’ve barely done anything to earn that.” 

“You were willing to step back, Lena. You were willing to go back into forced solitude just to save me from missing time with Dominic and Maya. You were willing to break your heart and put yourself back into a life of misery and loneliness just to make sure that I was as happy as I could be. That’s why. That’s something that the Lena I knew and loved before would have done; and I thought about it for a while, and I was going to give it a few more days before I finally caved and completely forgave you, but seeing how you responded to me being over a half-hour late… I couldn’t stay mad any longer.” Kara squeezed her gently. “I forgive you, Lena. And… I’d like to try and start working on our friendship again.” 

Lena’s heart thudded rapidly in her chest. “Are you saying that we _are_ friends again?” She asked hopefully, her eyes alight with glee. 

Kara chuckled and nodded. “Yeah… I guess that’s exactly what I’m saying.” 

And that was it… Lena almost passed out. She never thought this day would come. “Oh thank God. Thank you, Kara. Thank you. I will never let you down again, I swear to you. On everything I love that I will never hurt you, or Alex, or anyone ever again. I’m done being a mess. I’m done being a burden.” 

“That’s your problem, right there, Lena.” Kara said with a frown. 

Lena’s heart sank. She’d already messed up it seemed. “What? What’s my problem?” She asked worriedly; intent on fixing whatever she’d broken before it could spiral into complete devastation. 

“You were never a burden to me, despite what you thought. _Never_. And I wouldn’t have ended our friendship if you had told me that you were in love with me back then. It would’ve been a total shock, but I wouldn’t have been angry.” Kara smiled sadly at her. “I’m sorry you didn’t feel safe enough to tell me.” 

Lena shook her head. “D-don’t apologize for _my_ stupidity. I should have known better. I just didn’t want things to change between us. I knew you didn’t feel the same way and telling you would have changed our dynamic. I didn’t want that so instead of being open and honest with you I decided to become a drunk.” She sighed and shook her head. “I know you say that you forgive me, but Nia, Brainy, Kelly and _especially_ Alex, never will. Are you really ready to get heat from them for the rest of your life because of me?” 

Kara shook her head. “No. But I’m going to anyway.” 

Lena let out a small laugh. “You amaze me every single day, Kara Zor-El. I can’t even begin to tell you how much you mean to me.” 

Kara smiled at her. “You don’t have to. You’ve already proven it.” She hugged Lena again. “Now, let’s eat, shall we? I’m starved.” 

**XXX**

The next day, the same thing happened. Alex had called Kara twenty minutes before Lena and Kara’s scheduled lunch and asked her to watch the kids for her. 

But this time, Kara hadn’t been able to make it back in time to spend an hour with Lena. So they hadn’t even seen each other that day.. 

Or the day after that. 

Or the day after that. 

And Lena finally got fed up. It was very clear that, although Kara couldn’t see it, Alex was doing this on purpose. So, although she was terrified of what the outcome of this would be, she decided that she would surprise Kara with Big Belly Burger in her hotel room. She was desperately craving Kara’s presence, so she was willing to risk being shot on sight by Alex if she happened to cross paths with her. 

She walked down the hotel hallway, and made it passed Alex and Kelly’s suite with ease. She let out a relieved breath and then headed straight to Kara’s door. She wasted no time at all and knocked three times before lowering her hand and impatiently waiting for Kara to answer the door; when she did, she wasn’t happy to see Lena like she hoped. 

“Lena?!” She asked in what seemed like horror. “No! Lena... I have the kids! A-Alex is going to be back any minute.” 

Lena’s heart fell but panic set in and she nodded. “Can I come back after the kids leave?” 

“Yes! Of course. Of course, you can, Lena. I just _really_ need you to leave for a little while. I’ll text you when they leave, okay?” 

Lena swallowed back her disappointment and nodded. “Yes. That will work. I will see you soon, okay?” 

“I’m really sorry, Lena. But I can’t risk losing my sister and her kids.” Kara said apologetically. 

Lena waved a dismissive hand. “Don’t apologize, Kara. We knew this wasn’t going to be easy. I’m sorry that I've put us all in this situation.” She said. “I will see you in a little while.” 

Kara smiled at her with gratitude, but before Lena could make her exit, Kara’s eyes went panicked, and Lena furrowed her brow. But before she could ask Kara what was wrong, the doors to the elevator opened, and Alex and Kelly stepped out, immediately meeting Lena’s eyes with a look of pure rage on her face. 

_Fuck_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you think this altercation is going to go down?
> 
> Will Kara be able to get out of this situation unscathed?
> 
> Did you enjoy?
> 
> let me know what you think! And as always, thank you for reading and commenting! It means the world!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be a tough chapter to read. Please be gentle lol

Lena gulped. “Kara, go inside.” She whispered.

“What? No! I’m not leaving you alone with her! She’ll literally rip your arms off.” Kara said incredulously.

Lena looked back to Kara. “Please, Kara. This is my fight, not yours. I need to face this.” She implored, sending Kara a pleading expression.

Kara frowned, but she sighed and relented. “Call out to me if you need me.”

Lena shook her head. “Please don’t listen into the conversation. If I need help, I’ll yell… but I don’t think I am going to.”

Kara nodded and closed the door, leaving Lena to face an Angry Alex storming her way, with a wary Kelly following not too far behind her.

“Who the hell do you think you are, Lena?” Alex seethed. “I told you to stay away from my kids!”

Lena nodded and raised her hands as if to surrender, showing Alex that she was not a threat. “I know that.” She said, taking a step backwards as fear seeped into her heart. She hadn’t been this terrified of someone in a _long_ time. Mama Bear Alex was even scarier than the Alex she’d known before. “I didn’t come here with the intent on seeing them. I just haven’t been able to see Kara in almost a week, so I came to visit.”

“You knew that she had the kids!” Alex yelled. “She must’ve told you _why_ she had to keep cancelling. So what exactly did you expect to find when you got here, exactly? Kara sitting on the couch twiddling her thumbs?”

Lena swallowed audibly. “Alex, _please_. You hate me, and you have every right to, but Kara is just an innocent bystander. She’s done nothing wrong. She’s kept me away from the kids. When I showed up unannounced just now, she shooed me away. She looked _terrified_ that I showed up. Is that really what you want for her? To live in constant fear of losing you and your children. Both of which she could undoubtedly not live without. She’s _still_ grieving the loss of her wife and child, and you have the nerve to threaten to take away the one thing that’s keeping her grounded in reality and preventing her from letting her grief swallow her whole?”

“ _I’m_ not threatening anything! You’re the one threatening everything! All she has to do is keep you away from my kids.” Alex growled. “You know me, my wife, and our children live just down the hallway right now! How did you think that this was ever going to work? Even if Kara didn’t have my kids, they could have still seen you… _I_ could have still seen you.”

Lena nodded. “You’re hurt, and you’re angry, and you feel betrayed. I get that, I recognize that I caused all of that. And I want to make it right.” She placed the take out bag from Big Belly Burger onto the floor and spread her arms open. “Punch me.”

Alex furrowed her brows. “Don’t tempt me, Luthor.”

Lena shook her head. “I’m being serious. Punch me, get all of your anger out. It’s the least I can do after all the trauma I’ve caused you. But once you’ve had your fix, I want you to stop threatening Kara. Let her enjoy and spoil her niece and nephew in peace. They’re the closest thing she’s got to her own unborn child she lost, and she needs them… And they need her. They love their Aunt Kara.” She let out a shaky breath; dread filling her entire soul. “So, punch me, Alex. As many times as you need to, but then leave Kara alone. She loves you all. She is terrified of losing _any_ of you.”

“I still don’t want you around my kids.” Alex asserted.

Lena made an X over her heart. “I won’t ever risk it. I will never put her in a situation where I’m at risk of seeing them.” She said before once again spreading her arms out wide. “Now lets get this over with.”

She clamped her eyes shut and prepared for the first blow.

When it came she flew back into the wall; she’d thought she’d prepared herself for the pain that was coming, but she hadn’t. It hurt far more than she ever thought it was going to; and it knocked the air straight out of her lungs.

“Alex! Alex, you _know_ violence is not the solution.” Kelly chided.

Lena was coughing, trying to get the air back into her lungs when she saw Alex turn to her wife. “I’m letting out fifteen years of built-up rage. This is therapeutic.” She said before she closed the distance between herself and Lena and slammed her fist straight into her stomach once more; preventing Lena from even remotely getting her breath back.

“Alex! Stop it!” Kelly demanded.

But Alex was clearly in a haze as her fist slammed into Lena once more, this time, across her face.

Lena couldn’t help it, that time she let out a guttural moan. That hit had been the most powerful, and most certainly the most painful. It knocked her to the ground in a painful **thud**.

She watched as Alex’s fist began to come down on her once more, but a familiar hand caught it before it was even halfway to Lena.

“ENOUGH!” Kara yelled sternly.

Alex glared at Kara. “She said I could, Kara. Now move out of my damn way!”

“No.” Kara said, refusing to let go of Alex. “You’re done. She’s suffered for fifteen years, Alex. You only suffered for four! She’s changed, she realized what she’d done, she made an effort to right her mistakes. She never meant to hurt us when she did, Alex. And she’d never repeat it again. Knock it off! You don’t have to forgive her, I’m not asking you to, but I’m asking you to at least be civil!”

Alex looked at Kara in disbelief. “Be _civil **?**_ Are you fucking kidding me? She almost _KILLED_ me! I’m not going to be civil with her!”

“Then pretend she doesn’t exist, Alex. Because she’s my friend, and I am not going to let anyone beat her up… Even if it’s you.”

Lena’s heart melted. She had not expected this to happen. She hadn’t expected this. She’d told Kara that this was _her_ fight. Lena told Kara not to interfere, but instead Kara came to her rescue. She loved her so damn much.

“Well then I guess we’re at am impasse, aren’t we?” Alex asked angrily. “I’m not going to let my kids hang around her.”

“I didn’t say you had to, Alex! I just said to pretend like she doesn’t exist.” Kara pleaded.

Alex shook her head a look of pure unadulterated betrayal.. “I would never forgive someone who hurt you the way Lena hurt me. I can’t believe you’d forgive her for what she did to me.”

It was then that Lena looked into the mirror hanging on the hallway wall to see the look of hurt on Kara’s face. “Alex… it’s _Lena_.” She said, as if that’s supposed to fix everything.

Alex shook her head and ripped her wrist out of Kara’s grasp. “I’m picking up the kids.”

Kara looked to Kelly pleadingly, as if she was a _begging_ Kelly to change Alex’s mind. But all Kelly did was place a comforting hand on Kara’s shoulder and send her an apologetic look before following Alex into the suite to get her children. Once they were done, all four of them left the room and Alex sent Kara a glare. “Don’t worry, Kara. I won’t be asking you to watch them anymore. It’s pretty clear where your loyalties are.”

Kara’s face contorted into one of heartbroken panic. “Alex. No! Please I love you. I love _all_ of you. Please don’t do this.”

Alex didn’t say another word as she brushed passed Kara and entered their hotel suite. Kelly stopped in front of Kara and gave her a hug. “She’s hurting, Kara. She doesn’t know how to handle hurt any other way besides turning to anger. She doesn’t hate you. She still loves you more than life itself. She’s just hurt that you’re spending time with Lena again.”

Kara gulped her face showing just how heartbroken she was. “But… She said that she was okay with me spending time with her.”

“She wasn’t.” Kelly said. “She figured that you wouldn’t be able to forgive Lena and that you’d end up cutting her off once and for all; but you didn’t and she hadn’t expected that. She’s hurt.”

“W-what do I do, Kelly? How do I fix this?” Kara asked in a broken voice.

“The only instant way I see is to stop communicating with Lena. Other than that, I think it’s just a waiting game to see if or when she comes around to the idea that you care about Lena again.” Kelly informed. “Alex is emotionally stunted, we all knew that. It’s going to take her a long time to wrap her head around this and an even longer time to be somewhat okay with it… If she ever is. But I will try to talk to her. I’m not sure how much good it will do, but I will at least try, okay?”

Tears were falling from Kara’s eyes as she nodded. “Thank you.”

“Always, Kara. Always. We all love you. Never doubt that. Okay? That’s why this is so hard for Alex. She wouldn’t be this upset if she didn’t love you.”

“I love you all too.” Kara croaked out. “Thank you, Kelly.”

Kelly smiled at her and nodded. “Just give her time. She probably will never forgive Lena, but you she will always forgive. I’m sure of it. I’m just not sure if she’ll still be willing to let you watch the kiddos anymore.” Kelly frowned. “But like I said, I will advocate for you because I’m sure if you say Lena is rehabilitated, then she is.” She looked down at Lena, who hadn’t said a word. “What you did today was very brave, Lena Luthor. If Kara hadn’t stepped in I’m not sure you’d be conscious right now.”

Lena swallowed nervously as she nodded. “I know that.”

Kelly smiled. “That just goes to show how strong your love for Kara truly is. That has to count for _something_ in Alex’s book.”

She looked between the two women one more time before she walked away and disappeared into her suite.

Lena’s heart was pounding anxiously; her chest and stomach were aching, and her head was throbbing relentlessly. Alex really had been merciless with her punches. She grimaced as she tried to stand up but was stopped by Kara picking her up. “Oof!” She exclaimed. Kara picking her up was certainly a welcomed surprise, but that still didn’t stop the pain in her mid-section.

Kara had tears running down her face, but she smiled apologetically at her. “I’m sorry.”

“No. Don’t apologize. I should be the one apologizing.” She said as guilt tore away at her heart. “I knew you having the kids was a possibility so I should have called first. I’m so sorry, Kara. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

Kara’s jaw clenched as she carried Lena through her suite and placed her on the counter in the expansive bathroom. “You had no way of knowing that Alex would react as badly as she did.”

Lena shook her head. “I told her to punch me. I told her to let out all of her anger onto me, but afterwards to stop punishing you for my mistakes. She’d agreed but you stopped her in the middle of it. You should have let her keep going, Kara.”

Kara looked at her and frowned. “You shouldn’t have done that. You know how strong Alex’s punches are.”

Lena nodded. “I know, but it was worth it if it meant you’d stop being hurt.”

“Lena…” Kara stopped her movements and sighed as she shook her head. “You don’t have to protect me. I can take care of myself.”

Lena nodded. “I know that, of course I know that. But you have one weak spot: and that’s Alex. It always has been. I can’t stand by helplessly and watch you two fall apart because of me. Her feelings are raw, and real, Kara. You know how much you hated me all those years and you weren’t even the one I put in the wheelchair and caused excruciating pain to. She is. She’s probably always going to hate me, and I have to accept that no matter how much it hurts; but I can’t accept you losing her because of me.”

Kara frowned. “Your lip is bleeding.”

Lena chuckled and nodded. “Yeah… she got it pretty good.”

“It’s not funny!” Kara asserted as she used a wet paper towel to wipe the blood off of Lena’s lip. “She could have seriously hurt you.”

“Better me than you.” Lena shrugged.

Kara frowned. “Do you really think she could hurt me?”

“Emotionally, yes.” Lena nodded. “And she just did… Because of me.”

“ _Lena_ …” Kara replied, her eyes looking pained and imploring. “You heard Kelly. She’ll come around eventually.”

Lena shook her head. “She said she could… But she might not let you see Dominic and Maya again. Because of me.” Lena couldn’t fight back the tears that began to fall. She knew what she was going to have to do now; and it was genuinely killing her. She didn’t want to say this next sentence, but she had to. “I have to let you go, Kara.” She croaked out.

Kara wiped Lena’s tears away and shook her head. “Lena! Stop! There’s got to be another solution.”

“Would you rather have me in your life, or those two kids that you love with all of your heart?” Lena asked, knowing what the answer was going to be.

Kara’s lip quivered. “That’s not fair.”

Lena smiled sadly at Kara and nodded through the sharp aching pain in her chest. “I know it isn’t, Kara. And I’m sorry I put you in this position, but we both know you have to choose Maya and Dominic. You will be fine without me.”

Kara frowned. “Lena… I _just_ got you back. I don’t want to lose you all over again.”

Lena shook her head. “You’re not losing me, Kara. You could never lose me. I will always be here, hoping that some day you can come back to me. But I know that right now isn’t the time. Alex isn’t ready for that yet, and if Alex isn’t ready, then you’ll just feel guilty the entire time; and you will have to suffer constantly every day because Alex will resent you. I can’t put you through that, Kara. I love you too much.” She raised her hand and cupped Kara’s cheek. “You are kind, and you are smart, and you are powerful, Kara Zor-EL. You deserve love, and happiness, and a family the size of universe. You deserve all things good, and I wish that for you every day.”

Kara’s tears continued to cascade down her face. “I just got you back. I don’t… I don’t know how to say goodbye to you again.”

“You don’t have to, Kara.” Lena said, her heart shattering. Tears spilled from her eyes and down her cheeks too; they were both sobbing messes. “The universe brought us back together once, I’m sure if it’s meant to be, we’ll meet again.”

“What if we don’t?” Kara asked, her voice cracking.

“Then we hold each other in our hearts. Always.” Lena said as she placed her hand over Kara’s heart. “You will always be a part of me, Kara.”

Kara let out a sob, and she gently pulled Lena into an embrace, mindful of her sore abdomen. “I’m so proud of you, Lena. You managed to pull yourself out of the deep pit of despair and turned your life around. The things you’ve accomplished are incredible. You are good.”

Lena’s heart exploded with a mixture of joy at Kara’s praise, and anguish as she realized this was most likely the last time, she’d ever see Kara. “Thank you. That means absolutely _everything_ to me.”

Kara pulled back and wiped her tears away. “At least let me take a look at you and make sure nothing is seriously wrong before you go.”

Lena nodded.

Kara smiled and nodded before she gently lifted up Lena’s shirt to see the beginning of bruises forming on Lena’s stomach. Her frown reappeared. “Jesus, Lena.” Tears started falling from her eyes once more. “Never do that again. Do you hear me? Never put yourself in danger for _any_ one again.”

“If it’s you, I can’t promise you that.” Lena admitted honestly.

“I mean it Lena!” Kara insisted.

“I promise I will try my best not to. Is that sufficient?” Lena asked.

“I guess that’s the best I’m going to get.” Kara chuckled sadly as she lowered Lena’s shirt. “From what I can tell there’s no internal bleeding and there’s no broken bones.”

Lena nodded. “Then I guess… That’s my cue to leave, isn’t it?” She said sadly as she hopped down from the counter.

“I don’t want you to go.” Kara said. “I can’t keep losing people.”

This time, Lena pulled Kara into a hug. “Like I said, Kara. You’re never going to lose me. I will always be right here waiting for you. You will _always_ be a part of me. A _ginormous_ part of me.”

Kara swallowed down her tears and nodded ad she began guiding Lena to her door. “I don’t want this to be the end.”

“It may not be.” Lena said. “I know it never will be the end for me.”

Lena hugged Kara as tightly as she could. “I will see you again someday, Kara Danvers.” She whispered into Kara’s shoulder.

Kara squeezed her back just as tight. “I hope so, Lena Luthor. I really hope so.”

And with that, Lena turned and left with tears gushing down her face; not looking back because she knew that if she did, she wouldn’t have the strength to leave.

**XXX**

For the next seven months, Lena was pretty much a recluse. She was miserable. She’d lost the love of her life all over again. She focused on her work; making synthetic skin that could regrow amputated limbs in the matter of months.

She didn’t drink; she had promised herself not to, but she still didn’t exactly have the best or most healthy ways of coping. She went days without sleep; because the only thing she dreamed about was Kara. Kara hugging her. Kara laughing with her. Kara smiling at her. Kara _kissing_ her.

It was a torture each and every time she awoke to realize that her dream wasn’t her reality.

Sam of course helped as much as she could, but Sam wasn’t Kara… Wasn’t the one that owned her heart.

So, instead of focusing on the massive hole in her chest and soul; she focused on bettering the planet. Just as she had done for the fifteen years she’d been without Kara before.

She was brewing herself some coffee before she went into work for the day when there was a loud banging noise on her door. Lena jumped and almost dropped her mug when she heard it. She quickly went over to the door and looked through the peephole; her heart sinking when she saw who it was.

She unengaged the chain lock and undid the four deadbolts before she opened the door.

“Whatever you think I did, I didn’t do it. I’ve been staying to myself.”

Alex rolled her eyes. “I hate you.” She began, to which Lena nodded.

“I know this. Is that all you came here for? To remind me of something I’ve known for over a decade?” Lena asked snappily.

Alex shook her head. “I hate you. I will always hate you… But we need to talk… It’s Kara.”

Lena dropped her mug as fear and worry crept into her heart. “Where is she?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think is wrong? Do you think Lena will be able to help?


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, unbetaed. I apologize. But I hope there aren't too many typos.

Alex frowned. “She’s… She’s in her bedroom.”

Lena furrowed her brow. “So… You’re worried because she’s in her bedroom?”

“No. I’m worried because she’s been falling deeper and deeper into her depression, and I can’t pull her out of it. It started slowly over the first four months, but the past three she’s refused to leave her room, and now the past two weeks she’s refused to get out of bed. But what was the final nail in the coffin was that six days ago she stopped eating. A Kryptonian needs to eat ten times the amount a normal human would. She’s going to die if we can’t save her, Lena. And I don’t know who else to turn to. Nia, Brainy, Maya, Dominic, my mom, Kara’s mom, Kelly, James, Winn, William, we’ve all tried. The only person that I can think that’s left that could even remotely have an impact on her. I mean… This all started right after you left, that can’t be a coincidence, can it?”

Lena’s heart sank and anger rose inside her. “You let her suffer for _SEVEN MONTHS_ just because you thought you could ‘handle’ this on your own? Did you not think to even ASK why she was depressed? Did you never suspect it had something to do with me until now?”

Alex glared at her. “Don’t start with me, Lena. I’m here now! Do you want to try to help or not?”

“Of course I want to help! I would’ve tried to help from day one if I had known this was going on! Did she say why she was hurting?” Lena said angrily.

Alex looked away. “She said she’s tired of losing people.”

“And the last person she lost, was…??” Lena asked, trying to get Alex to admit what they both already knew.

“Sun.” Alex stated.

Lena shook her head. “We both know that’s not true, Alex.”

Alex clenched her jaw. “You’re pushing my buttons and you really shouldn’t be. Not right now. Not with Kara’s life on the line. She hasn’t gotten out of bed in _weeks_ , Lena. So, either help me or tell me you're not going to and I’ll leave.”

Lena scoffed and shook her head. “You’re unbelievable.”

Alex swirled around and pinned her with a fiery glare. “ _I’m_ unbelievable?! You’re the one who’s willing to let the woman that you claim to love die because you’re stubborn. You’re the one that almost killed your best friend!”

Lena slammed her hand on the table beside her. “ENOUGH WITH THAT!” She screamed. “I have begged, I have cried, I have groveled on my hands and feet. I’ve walked through fire, then ice, then fire again, just to earn your goddamn acceptance but you’re too stubborn to see that I’m not that person anymore! I can’t make you forgive me, Alex. But I damn sure don’t have to put up with your abuse anymore. You can't keep using that as a crutch to defend your deplorable behavior!”

Alex laughed. “You don’t deserve my forgiveness. You don’t even deserve my kindness.”

“And yet here you are begging me to save Kara and fix _YOUR_ mistake.” Lena deadpanned.

“I didn’t make a mistake. You chose to leave. I didn’t say you had to.” Alex countered.

“You made it perfectly clear that it was me or the kids… And she inevitably chose the kids because they’re her world. But, apparently, much to your chagrin… I’m a big part of that world now too.”

“No you aren’t. I just want you to talk to her.”

“And then what do you want me to do? Leave again?” Lena asked. “Because that’s not fair to her, Alex. She clearly cares about me and she has told you that she’s tired of losing the people she cares about; and is probably still reeling from Sun and their baby’s death. It’s just absolutely **_cruel_** of you to expect her to suffer a loss again. You can hate me, you can keep me away from the kids, but I’m not letting you torture her again. If I come today, I’m going to come by every day because Kara is the love of my life and I will never hurt her again. You can push me around and punch me behind Kara’s back all you want but this is the straw that broke the camel’s back, Alex. You fucked up this time. You let this go on way, **_WAY_** too long because your ego is too big and your hatred for me is so strong. This is no one’s fault but yours.”

Alex glared at Lena. “Watch what you say, _Luthor_.”

“No, _Danvers_.” Lena countered coolly. “I will accept your hatred, and I will accept the fact that she’ll never want me because of what I’ve done and the fact that she’d feel like she’s betraying you, but I will not accept you making her give up someone that she cares about. Even if it’s me. She’s lost too much. Suffered too much and sacrificed too much for her to suffer anymore pain. I’m going to go to her, I’m going to see what I can do, but let’s make this _perfectly_ clear. This is _your_ doing. Not mine. I never, _ever_ would have stayed away if it weren’t my only option. You gave me no choice. If i had known she was this depressed I would have come running to her much sooner than now.”

“You had a choice! You chose to leave. That’s on you, not me.” Alex asserted.

Lena shook her head. “No. Do you think I would genuinely choose to break my own heart… My own _soul_ if it weren’t my only and last option?”

Alex ignored her question. “Are you going to help me or not?”

“No.” Lena shook her head. “I will not help you. But I will do my damndest to help _Kara_.” Lena replied as she grabbed her keys from the table that she’d slammed only moments ago. “Take me to her.”

**XXX**

Lena steadied her breathing before she walked into the bedroom; not at all knowing what she was going to find on the other side of the door. She gulped down her trepidation and pushed through the door to find Kara lying on a bed, her hair a matted mess, facing the curtained window.

“Kar’, someone’s here to see you.” Alex said.

She received no response; not even a twitch.

“She’s missed you a lot, Kar’ aren’t you going to say hi at the very least?”

Again, not a single response.

Alex looked at Lena and nodded, letting Lena take over from there.

Lena walked closer to the bed. She closed her eyes let out a shaky breath. Her heart was broken. How had this happened?! How could she have let this happen? How could **_ALEX_** let this happen? Lena’s sins were plentiful, her biggest of all of them betraying Kara and Alex and getting the latter wheelchair bound, but this? This sin right here? The one that put Kara in a depressive state so severe that she wouldn’t even **_eat_**? That was far worse than anything. And that was _Alex’s_ sin.

She sat at the foot of the bed, just out of eyesight of Kara, and she could see the Kryptonian’s face; devoid of any emotion, staring blankly at the wall before her. Lena’s heart shredded itself at the sight. Hollow eyes, pale skin, blank stare. Unmoving. It was like Kara was already a corpse. She stifled a sob, she had to be strong. Kara needed her and being emotional was not going to benefit Kara in anyway.

“Kara?” Lena asked softly. Kara twitched at that, and Lena’s heart soared. At least Kara _could_ move. “Hey, beautiful. It’s me. It’s Lena. I don’t know if I’m who you wanted to see. I’m sure you wanted to see Sun, but I’m here, and-,”

“I wanted you.” Kara said, her voice raspy and strained.

Lena’s heart swelled. She finally met Kara’s eyes and gave a nervous, hesitant smile. “You did?”

“I’m sorry, Lena. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t hav-,”

Lena shook her head. She needed Kara to stop blaming herself for Alex’s cruelness _immediately_. “Shhh. Don’t do that. Don’t apologize for Alex’s choices. We both knew that we didn’t want to have to go our separate waves. But it was either me or the kids and you needed those kids more than me.”

Kara met her eyes once more and shook her head. “I was wrong.”

“Wrong? About what, Darling?”

“Everything.” Kara answered. “I needed _you_. I _need_ you too. I thought I needed my family more than anything but I was wrong. I can’t lose you. I’m… I’m useless without you.”

Lena swallowed back the emotion and shook her head. “That’s not true. Don’t you dare for a second think that that is true because it isn’t. It is the furthest thing from the truth that there is. You survived over a decade without me, Kara. You could do that again. You are strong, and you are brave and you are-,”

“Lay with me.” Kara whispered.

Lena’s heart jolted and her breath hitched. “Are… are you sure? Kara, this is… You’re hurting and you might be saying things that you don’t actually want.”

Kara finally moved for the first time, laying on her back, her head propped up on a pillow so that her eyes met Lena’s. “I was going to end up this way no matter what.” She said, here eyes dimming. “I was either going to lose my family and friends… Or I was going to lose you. The thought of either of those happening _killed_ me, Lena. Because I’ve already lost my wife, my son, I lost my world for over sixteen (conscious) years, and I just… I can’t lose anyone else. I just _can’t_ … And… And I need the hurt to _go away_ , Lena. I tried so hard to be okay, I really did but then I had to lose you and… That was it. I didn’t have any strength left because that was a massive blow straight to my already destroyed heart. So, yes I’m sure. I’m sure that I’ve missed you, that I couldn’t stop wondering what you were doing every second of every day; and I know that it must sound weird, and that I’m probably insane but I can’t help it, Lena. I need you, and right now I really just want to hold you.”

Lena swallowed back her tears of both joy and sorrow and wasted no time taking her shoes off and climbing straight into Kara’s bed, cradling into the hero’s side. She was so happy to finally hear some of the things she’d wanted to hear for _years_ , and even happier to be in Kara’s tight embrace once more; but what got her there? The pain and anguish, and turmoil that Kara had to suffer for them to be able to get to this point?

That broke her heart in ways she hadn’t even realized was possible.

“Kara, I’ve missed you more than you could _possibly_ imagine. I’m so sorry that I left you, Kara. I’m so sorry that you were in so much agony. You have no idea how painful it is to know how much you’ve suffered these past seven months, but I’m here now and I’m never leaving you again. Not unless you want me to.

I should have stood up to Alex. I should have done anything and everything I could think of to stay in your life. And I’m so happy that I have you back. I missed you terribly, Kara and I too, wondered each and every moment of each and every day how you were doing. I am so glad to be in your arms right now, but Kara. You need to eat, and you need to get out in the sun. You need to start doing things. You need to go back to work and be the kickass reporter and editor that you’ve always been. Maybe even bring out Supergirl on occasion. I will help you through every step of the way, but I just need you to be willing to do the work too. So, are you? Are you ready to start the process of being you again?”

Kara said nothing for a moment, and Lena was scared that she might have crossed a line that she shouldn’t have, but then Kara spoke, and what she said was music to her ears.

“If it’s with you by my side, then yes. I think I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think the next step in Kara's recovery will be?
> 
> Will there be anymore hiccups in our favorite duo's path?
> 
> Will Alex ever be able to get over what Lena did all those years ago?


	17. Chapter 17

She left Kara’s bedroom with the promise to be in, in just a short while. She had to practically pull Kara off of her and had to comfort her by letting her know she wasn’t leaving the suite, just the bedroom, and only temporarily. She had to promise that she was coming back very shortly.

When Lena walked out into the living room, Alex looked up from her folded hands in her lap. “How is she? Did she at least move at all?” She asked, and it was then, that Lena could see the pure fear and guilt on Alex’s face.

Lena sat down on the chair across from Alex and nodded. “She’s… Well, she’s not well at all, Alex. But yes, she did move a bit, and she even spoke to me.”

Alex’s eyes widened. “How did you…” She frowned. “She wouldn’t talk to _anyone_. For weeks. How is that possible?”

Lena sighed. “You made her choose between someone she loved, or you. You made her lose me. At least… In her eyes she lost me. But she didn’t, and now that she realizes I’m here again some of her depression has lifted. But that doesn’t change the fact that _all_ of the progress she made on healing from her grief has been reversed because of this. You just made everything _so much_ worse for her! And you know what? That’s so much worse than anything I’ve ever done to you. You hurt her on purpose, and then let her suffer for over half a year just because you couldn’t get your head out of your ass and come to me. You may hate me, Alex, and that’s perfectly fine, because from this day forward the feeling is mutual. What you’ve done is unforgivable.”

Alex closed her eyes, and a tear escaped her eye. “I thought it was manageable. So I tried to get everyone I could think of to help her… But when Kelly told me that it was only going to get worse… That Kara’s depression was severe, and it wasn’t going to get better unless she got actual help I tried everything. I didn’t want to have to come get you. But Kelly pretty much said if I didn’t, she would, and then she’d leave me because I was going too far. I thought I could do this. I thought I could fix her on my own.”

“She doesn’t need _fixed_! She needs support, and love, and to not be forced to lose people she cares about! She needs help managing her grief. That’s normal and that’s healthy! How did you think this was going to turn out, Alex? Did you really think that Kara would be like ‘Oh, okay. I’m losing another person. That’s fine. I’m fine’ after EVERYTHING she’s been through? After everything she’s _lost_. Of course losing someone else was going to trigger her depression!” Lena fumed. “You were selfish, and cruel. You hurt her even though the intent was to hurt me. I know you aren’t scared for your children, Alex. I know you don’t believe I would hurt them, or even Kara for that matter. The only reason you wanted me to be banned from them was because you knew it’d break me. What you didn’t factor in, was how it would affect Kara. So let’s make this perfectly clear: You can hate me for my mistakes a decade and a half ago; but I currently hate you for your deliberate choice to hurt your sister for seven months straight, putting her on the brink of death.”

Tears were finally falling from Alex’s eyes untamed. “I didn’t mean to.”

“Yes. You did. You knew she was hurting, and you refused to solve the issue the way you knew would work. This is your come to Jesus moment, Alex. Kara has forgiven you for a lot. But this? This is something that doesn’t deserve forgiveness. I don’t know what she’ll decide to do about you in the long run, but I do know that at the moment Kara needs us. _All_ of us. I’m willing to put aside my feelings towards you, and work with you to help her get to where she needs to be. The question is, are you?”

“If it means getting my sister healthy again then I guess I have no choice in the matter, now do I?” Alex asked irritatedly.

“No, I suppose not.” She offered Alex her hand. “Truce? At least until Kara is back on her feet and healthy again? I’m just asking you to be civil, you don’t have to be my friend. I quite honestly don’t even want to be your friend, but Kara needs us both.”

Alex looked at the proffered appendage for a few moments before sighing and nodding. She took Lena’s hand into her own and shook it. “I really hate this.”

“Believe me, the feeling is mutual.” Lena replied as she shook Alex’s hand. “But Kara is more important than our feelings.”

“Yes. That’s the one thing we can agree on. Kara is what matters.” Alex agreed.

“I’m going to order her a few dozen orders of potstickers and a few pizzas to start her off. Do you want anything for yourself?” Lena asked.

“No. I think I should give you guys some time alone.” Alex said in dismay. She stood up. “Just… Take care of her, okay?”

Lena nodded. “That’s what I’ve been trying to do this whole time, Alex. I don’t know why you can’t see that.”

Alex made a noncommittal acknowledgement that she heard what Lena had said before making her way to the front door. “Let me know if she needs me, alright?”

“I will, Alex.” Lena vowed as she started dialing the number for Kara’s Chinese restaurant. Then, she went and ordered four Rizzollio’s deep dish pizzas (the kind that Kara had remembered was Lena’s favorite.) She then cleaned up the apartment a bit before the food arrived. She thanked the delivery men and tipped them generously.

Once she had the food in hand, she took the multiple bags of potstickers and the four pizzas and made her way into the bedroom. Lena’s heart broke when she saw that Kara hadn’t moved from her position on the bed. Kara was staring blankly at the ceiling.

“Kara? I come bearing gifts!” She said sweetly.

“Why did you come?” Kara asked, her voice void of all emotion.

Lena wrinkled her brow, “What do you mean?” She asked, completely shocked by the question.

Kara turned her head slightly, just enough so that she could see Lena. “After all this time, why did you come?”

Lena swallowed the lump in her throat, her heart _aching_. “Do you remember our last conversation? The one right before I had to leave?”

Kara nodded once in affirmation that she did, in fact, remember.

“I told you that you are never going to lose me. That It will never be the end for me. That I would always be waiting for you to come back; and I meant every word that I said. I love you, Kara.” She sighed and realized she couldn’t confess her love for Kara. She was too weak and fragile. “Losing you, my best friend, is something I will never accept again. Not unless it’s what you genuinely want.”

“It’s not what I want. I don’t want to lose you, Lena. I missed you. I missed you so much. Losing you killed me.” Kara cried.

Lena dropped the food and was instantly in the bed, holding Kara’s shaking form. “You never lost me, Kara. Remember that. You will _never_ lose me. I don’t know what I’ll have to do to prove it, but I will find a way to prove to you that I’m never going anywhere, unless you tell me to. You are the most important person in _existence_ to me. You are strong, and courageous, talented, and loving beyond all measure. You’ve survived things that would bring down even the toughest of people; and you did it with a smile on your face. You aren’t weak, you aren’t selfish, you aren’t anything but good. Do you understand me? Alex made a bad decision seven months ago that cost you a _lot_. That cost us _both_ a lot. But we’re here, together right now, and we never have to worry about that again, okay? I’m never letting anyone hurt you ever again.”

Kara shook her head. “I’m nothing special, Lena. If I was, I wouldn’t keep hurting people.”

Lena furrowed her brow. “Who on _Earth_ did you hurt, Kara? You’ve done absolutely nothing wrong here. You are the innocent bystander that got caught in the crossfires of mine and Alex’s feud.

Kara shook her head. “I hurt Alex by becoming friends with you again, and then I hurt you by having to let you go again. I hurt Eliza by leaving Earth before she came to Argo to live with me. I hurt my beautiful Sun by getting her pregnant, and then I hurt her and our baby by not taking her to the doctor right away. I hurt J’onn by hanging up the cape, I hurt Nia and Brainy by only visiting them a few times a year. I hurt my mother by coming back to Earth and then choosing to stay here for a while. All I do is constantly cause pain. That’s why I keep losing people.”

Lena couldn’t fight back the sob that ripped from her chest caused by hearing Kara’s monolog. “Kara Zor-EL Danvers don’t you ever speak about yourself that way again! You’ve saved this planet countless times. You’ve saved me many more, and you’ve saved Alex, Nia, Winn, James, William, Cat Grant, and even J’onn. You’ve saved thousands of people on a daily basis for years. You don’t owe anyone anything. You were allowed to go back to your home world. You were allowed to befriend someone that you deemed worthy of a second chance. You are allowed to have opinions that differ from your sister’s. You were allowed to fall in love with your childhood best friend, and you were allowed to want to start a family with her.” _No matter how jealous that knowledge makes me_ she thought. “Kara, you didn’t purposely hurt anyone. You didn’t do anything on purpose that could _genuinely_ or _intentionally_ hurt anyone. You aren’t losing people because you deserve it, Kara. You aren’t losing anyone anymore. You have me, you have the Superfriends, you have Alex and Kelly, and you have their precious children. You aren’t cursed, Kara, and you _aren’t_ a curse. The only thing you are is a blessing sent from Krypton, and someone I can’t lose again.”

Kara tearfully smiled up at Lena and slowly raised her hand to cup Lena’s cheek. “You didn’t lose me this time either, Lena. I’m glad that you came back to me.”

Lena covered the hand on her cheek with her own, pressing her cheek further into Kara’s palm. Her heart was walloping in her chest. “I will _always_ come back to you, Kara. There is nothing in this world, or any other, that could keep me away from you. Unless you want me gone.”

They stared at each other for a few more moments before Kara’s stomach broke the silence with a loud growl. Lena chuckled as she squeezed Kara tighter. “I think your stomach is trying to tell you that it’s finally time for you to put something in it.”

Kara frowned. “I don’t really feel like eating.”

Lena’s heart ached. “I know you don’t, darling. I know. But you need to, okay? At least try one potsticker and one slice of pizza, that’s all I’m asking of you right now, alright? You can’t go this long without food, Kara. It’s not healthy. You could die if you go much longer.”

“Would that be such a bad thing though, Lena? I’d get to spend eternity in Rao’s light with my wife and son. I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t cause any more pain.”

Lena’s heart shattered as panic kicked in. She couldn’t bear the thought of Kara dying. Losing her was one thing but living in a world where she didn’t exist at all anymore was something she couldn’t survive. “Yes, you would! Your death would cause _so much_ pain, Kara. You are _so_ loved; you are so _needed_. You would be missed so, _so_ much it’s indescribable.” She swallowed back tears. Hearing just how bad Kara was right now was devastating on a level she’d never felt before. “Don’t you understand how much we love you, Kara? Don’t you understand what losing you would do to us? Do to _me_?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you even more…” Kara said as she looked away. “I just need the pain to stop, Lena.” Kara said, tears welling up in her eyes. “It hurts _so much_.”

Lena swallowed down her pain and nodded, wrapping Kara back up in her arms. “I know, sweetheart, I know. And I’m here, I will hold you through it all as you face it. But Kara. The first step in making the pain stop, is taking care of yourself. I know right now you are very weak, so I will have to do some super heavy lifting for a few weeks while you get up and going again, but then we’ll work together, along with whoever else you want or need, to get you to a good spot again. So, eat a few potstickers and a slice or two of pizza, alright?”

Kara looked down, but she nodded in agreement, sending a shot of hope straight to Lena’s heart. Lena got up out of the bed and grabbed the takeout bags she’d dropped on the floor a few minutes ago and brought them to the bed. She opened them and handed an order of potstickers over to Kara, smiling at her nervously.

Kara took the Styrofoam container and smiled back at her. “Thank you.” She said as she met Lena’s eye. “I don’t think I would have ever eaten again if you hadn’t shown up today. I honestly don’t think I would’ve moved again until… Well, you know what I’m getting at.”

Lena’s heart crumbled at the implication Kara was very obviously giving. She nodded; so glad that Alex had gotten to her in time, but so _FURIOUS_ that it had even come to this. She wished with all of her heart that she’d stood up to Alex so much sooner. “I’m so sorry I ever left Kara. I should have put my foot down with Alex. I shouldn’t have let her walk all over you the way that she did. You were vulnerable and hurting and she still was ruthless to you just because of me. I’m so sorry.”

Kara took a bite of a potsticker and swallowed it; bring pure relief to Lena. Kara was eating again, that was a huge step forward. She wasn’t going to die.

“You’re here now, Lena. That’s all that matters. You thought you were doing what was best for me.” Kara comforted before finishing the potsticker and going for a second, and then a third… Shoving them both into her mouth at the same time.

Lena tearfully chuckled at Kara’s adorableness. “Are they good, darling?” She asked teasingly.

Kara smiled and lifted a potsticker towards Lena. “See for yourself.”

Lena’s breath hitched, but she took the cue and opened her mouth, letting Kara feed her a bite of potsticker. She took a bite, and made looked at Kara, who was smiling as she watched Lena’s mouth. Her heart began to wallop in lustful excitement. She started chewing the food once Kara’s hand retreated.

She hummed in appreciation. “These are delicious.”

Kara beamed at her. “See why I love them so much?”

“I do.” Lena smiled. “I will buy you a whole potsticker restaurant chain if you’d like.”

Kara’s eyes widened comically in shock and Lena laughed. “Does that not sound like something you’d like?”

“I-,” Kara paused. “That’d be something that would get me out of bed, that’s for sure.” She joked, causing hilarity to rupture from Lena’s chest.

“Well, if that’s all it would take consider it done.” Lena replied.

Kara laughed. She _laughed_ and it was because of Lena. Knowing that, was the best feeling in the world. Kara’s depression had improved TREMENDOUSLY, she was even _eating_ and it was all because Lena was there. Because she was happy to see Lena. Because she _wanted_ Lena there. “I’m an easy woman to please, really. Just give me food, movies, and cuddles and I’m set.”

Lena’s heart melted and she squeezed Kara’s thigh gently. “Well I can promise you I can give you a never ending supply of all of those things.

Kara smiled. “I can’t wait.”

Lena's heart soared. "Neither can I."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Alex and Lena can genuinely work together to help Kara heal despite their grievances towards each other?


End file.
